Monday, July 21, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

Here it is, fellow ‘bag hunters. The final HCwDB of the Week to select the fourth slot for next week’s HCwDB of the Month Scrote-Off.

This week’s cuts of hott/choad have a strange sort of symmetry. Each coupling seems to be in nearly the same position as the others. As if the gods are saying, See the patterns… mock the scrotewanks… for we are all one…

I talk to the gods a lot. Especially Poseidon. That dude cracks me up.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Predatorbag

For bringing back nostalgic memories of jungle-hiding aliens who can take out Bill Duke and Action Jackson with a single blast, Predatorbag has to get a nom.

And besides. I never get tired of screaming get to the choppah!!

Screamed it once during a safari at an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.

The blonde is girl-next-door cute. Not model-hott overwhelming, but sexy enough that you’d sneak out during your parents pool party during spring break just to catch a glimpse of her in a bikini. At which point you’d soil yourself.

Which is embarrassing. Who soils themselves in their 20s?

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Pimpit

There’s much to be said for the colliding wrong of the hott/choad in this pic.

Pimpit brings the brand-name douchal infection to new heights, while blondie invokes the power of the Douchadox — the moment when ‘bag hunter is simultaneously attracted to and repulsed by the Bleethed out hott.

Her curves are fine.

His lip-ring harkons the ethos of herp sore metaphor.

Together, they make a douchal peanut butter cup.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Ice Man

As with Pimpit, Ice Man didn’t immediately jump out at me as a Weekly Finalist.

But then the truth and beauty of Ice Man’s Ass Woman sunk in. As Chowda So Good You’ll Lick Your Bowls put it:

I bet when sweet Jenny’s delicious salad shooter produces a dainty little movement, it comes out in a cute little jewelry box wrapped in gold foil complete with a bow right before an angel gently glides by to whisk it away from her magnificent bottom.

Jenny’s ass does not poop. It creates harmonic symphonies that vibrate across the universe and inspire imperfections in expanding universes that create planets who can only dream of cooling enough in billions of years to produce organic matter with as curvy an ass as Jenny’s ass.

And Ice Man is the everybag. Douchey enough to inspire rage, even without the bling and hand gestures. But enough to take the Weekly?

That, my friends, is up to you.

Honorable mention to The Boobie Epiphany and The Weatherhead, both of whom just missed the cut.

Them’s your three. Which coupling combines the best/worst of the thighs/scrote to merit a win? Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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