Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Reader Mail: Historical Douchebaggery


Bookworm writes in:

—-
Dear DB1-

In a recent message thread, someone suggested looking for older examples of the HCwDB syndrome. Miguel de Cervantes may have been the first to tag a ‘bag.

In chapter 51 of Don Quixote a goat-herder tells of a 16-year-old hott courted by two decent guys, but whose head is turned by a chode “decked out in a thousand colors and wearing a thousand glass trinkets and thin metal chains. One day he would put on one piece of finery, and the next day another, but all of them were flimsy and garish, lightweight and worthless.” His name is Vicente de la Rosa, which sounds like something out of a New Jersey phone book.

The hott “became enchanted with the glitter of his bright clothes” and runs away with him, only to be robbed and abandoned by him. She is discovered a few days later in a cave totally bleethed out, “wearing only her chemise.”

The flashy clothes, the trinkets and metal chains (the 16th-century equivalent of dog-tags and jesus-bling), the bag’s unholy power over innocent hotts–it’s all here. Don Quixote vows to go after this jerk, just as you do his counterparts today. Keep up the quixotic quest. (Quotations from Edith Grossman’s translation, pp. 435-36.)

– Bookworm
—-

Excellent point, Bookworm. There are many embedded examples throughout literature and history that chart douchological trends from 5,000 B.G. to our present year, 19 A.G, and we must endeavor to find them.

I cover a broad historical overview in the chapter, “Douche Antiquity and Douche Modernity,” in my book, quixotically titled Hot Chicks with Douchebags, now shipping from Amazon. Pictured here is the infamous “Billy The ‘Bag,” 96 B.G.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 5 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)