Sunday, July 27, 2008

Reader Mail: Little Caesars' Revenge


Jon writes in:

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Hey DB1-
After reading your website for somewhere near 6 months now, I finally got a perfect chance to complete break apart a Douche/Hott abomination.

I work at Little Caesars, running one of the registers, and I get a large variety of different customers, some with crazy eyes, one shoe, etc. About a week ago though, I was cleaning when two cars pulled up. The people walked in together, and were obviously together. The girl was beyond hot, like on a scale of 1-10…15. The guy who walked in with her was a total douche, I could almost smell it. To start of describing, he pulled up in a Hummer. He had assorted tattoo designs all down her arms, but the one that really got to me was a girls name right below his neck.

The girl ordered a Cheese Pizza and Breadsticks, which takes like 30 seconds to grab out of the Hot-N-Ready ovens. The Douche ordered the most complex pizza, and got pissy when I told him he was going to have to wait for it to be made.

When the girl paid, I asked to see ID for her card, just to check the name on it against the tattoo, and the name on her DL was Heather.

The guys tattoo said April.

Not wanting to let a douche get away with what is equivalent to that as murder, I took his pizza out of the oven as one of our cooks put it in. After about 15 minutes of waiting, Heather got upset at the douche, told him she was going home, and that she would talk to him later (in a very upset tone).

Not wanting the douche to complain, I put his pizza in the oven after she left. But to get him back for his douchetrosities, I pulled his pizza out too fast, which causes the toppings to shift, and didn’t cut it.

He hasn’t been back since, she has 3 times.

-Jon
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Pizza Pizza.

# posted by douchebag1

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