Monday, August 4, 2008

Reader Mail: Carbaggery

Amber/Lotus writes in:

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Hey DB1, how ya doin’?

I’m a fairly new ‘bag hunter, having only been introduced to the site when Attack of the Show featured you a while back.

I’ve been working my way through the archives and have my copy of the book but I have a question for you that I haven’t seen covered yet: Does a guy’s car count towards his douchebaggery?

In my 8 months living here in Tuscon, I’ve never seen the guy who drives this truck but I just HAVE to assume that the owner is scrotetastic, right? Note the lack of door handles and the 1 inch of ground clearance (I’m assuming keyless entry and hydraulics or something but still, douchey).

No way does a hot chick or a soccer mom or a banker or a normal and completely dateable dude drive this vehicle. It has GOT to be someone with a mandana and chin pubes and probably 4 large gold chains (2 of which are probably Jesus bling). Probably a Virgin Mary tattoo, too. So what say you? Is a choad’s ride another indicator of his choadity?

Love, hugs and boobies,
Amber/Lotus

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Great question Amber, and yes. Yes it is.

Problem #1 in examining your situation: Tuscon. Escape. Fast. Come let the DB1 protect you from the douchal plague. By offering you cheap wine in a plastic red cup. And staring at your boobs while you’re watching T.V., and, when caught, pretend I was just looking for the remote.

# posted by douchebag1

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