Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ask DB1: Manscaping


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Hey, db1. I’m a long-time Hot Chicks with Douchebags fan and I have a question that perplexes me.

I think we all have a little bit of douche in us without us even realizing it, and I’m not proud to say that I sometimes exhibit these tendencies.

My question is regarding the removal of chest hair. I notice you mock the guys who shave/wax their chests a lot, yet I also noticed in your book that you mentioned the Furry ‘Bag, who is a douche because he basically has, well, chest hair.

So are they both douches? Is one bigger than the other? Surely this is not an over-looked contradiction, is it?

Douche of Arabia
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Excellent question, D of A. A number of the more hirsute males will, of course, require some basic manscaping to maintain appearances. Some even suffer from Robinius Williamsus Armsus, or, in English, “Yeti Arms.”

Furry Man, as detailed in the book, does not receive douchal scorn for his hairyness, but for his creepy-ass display of that hairyness. Just as displayed chest shave is scrotey, so is chest fung display. It is in the presentational, not the genetic, that we locate douche.

Most men require some basic trimming and shaving as we attempt to woo the Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh. This is excusable, and is not subject to douchal scorn.

# posted by douchebag1

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