Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Chumlee's Philosophical Quest


Ever since Plato first argued that knowledge is a series of unchanging truths, we have looked at the douche-scrote as a fixed entity.

However, when in the late 4th Century, Augustine posited that the human body is not inherently douchey, the potential for degreasing entered into the realm of the metaphysic.

When in 1605, Sir Francis Bacon asked us to position our preconceptions of douche and bleeth as an obstruction to enlightenment, it was only a matter of time before Immanuel Kant introduced subjectivity and boobie lust as two fundamental biases that serve as limiting concepts on our ability to understand nature in toto.

Witness Chumlee’s ‘Bag Hand Gesture, pictured here.

He sees, but he does not see. His hands signify the limits of perception, and the biases of the mind in presence of boobie hottie suckle thigh.

Chumlee acknowledges a Kantian framework, even as his fingers suggest a fifth grade hand gesture for female genitalia.

For, in spite of his douchey hat and punch-worthy face, Chumlee cannot deny his philosophical journey. Just as Beatrice seeks out truth through conscious detachment. She inverts her own understandings of boobies within Husserl’s object/subject noemata. She witnesses her boobies from afar, as if they are not her own. She only sees them as others do.

For they are soft and squishy.

# posted by douchebag1

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