Monday, October 13, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

Ah yes, the DB1 faces his morning bowl of Corn Pops with great aplomb. For there are three juicy hottie/douchey couplings to choose from on this windy Monday morning. This is a tough vote, so meditate, ruminate and flatulate on all things hottie/douchey before casting your lot:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Flame Twins

The Flame Twins streaked onto the site late last week, only to produce the douchal offspring, Ned Grimley.

Multiple pics always help a cause, and in this case, so do ridiculously douchey hair fwips.

For bringing dual torch-like douche hair and streaking across our collective simulacrum like so much digital spittle, The Flame Twins earn a well deserved spot in the Weekly.

And let us not forget Pouty Hannah. So polluted from extended club exposure, that’s she’s actually giving herself the finger, as one of the regulars pointed out.

But still cute. And still in need of butt paddling.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Samurai Scrote

Samurai Scrote does not need to win the Weekly to know that he is Zen Douche.

Samurai Scrote does not even need to acknowledge that you think he’s Zen Douche.

Stop looking at Samurai Scrote, for his powers are beyond the aural and visual spectrum.

Do not acknowledge Samurai Scrote’s existence, for he will pummel you with his thoughts.

And yes, Theresa, I would lick each bedazzled sequin on that dress until it had a perfect shine, just for the chance to have you walk out on me after I grew tired during coitus and turned on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Because he has funny eyebrows.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Sun Grout

There’s something about this glowing tool that inspires a rage beyond the douchal signifiers of his dress.

Grout first appeared on the site as A Sun God but was quickly exposed by Abraham as a false god, and the Israelites turned on him, calling him “douchey” and stoning him with week old manna.

Speaking of manna, blonde is trashy/tasty, but undeniably sexy, with a shoulder I’d suckle with the fright of a caged calf sensing his impending transition into veal.

Scrotonerable mention to The Sweathog, Cleanup Aisle Five , The Day Trader ‘Bag, Teddy Troll Doll, and The Great Pumpkin all coming within a gel encrusted spike of making the finals.

But these are your three. Each a separate and distinct branch of the hottie/scrotey tree.

Which coupling strikes you as most worthy of being crowned hottie/douchey of the week? Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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