Wednesday, November 5, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: Brian Earlicker

So who won the election?

What? Geez, you’d think there was another election that happened somewhere. Lets stick to priorities people. Mocking ‘bags and staring at boobs.

gold5: Brian Earlicker FTW. Dragon Fist isn’t so bad (he’s just a short guy tryin to make it in the world) and the other two are wanna-bes who haven’t flowered into full douche-dom yet. It’s no contest really.

chris in ‘baghdad: they’re all swine, every one of them. but as an old Denver Broncos fan from the ’70s, I gotta go with Lila’s (artificial) Alzadoes

jonathan: Look, up in the sky. It’s a snake-style kiss attack. It’s a playboy bunny mocking a tiny package. It’s EARLICKER FTW!!!

douchey mcdouche: I struggled with this one, but in the end it’s Earlicker based on a gut reaction. And by “gut reaction” I mean nausea.

tristan: Gotta be ear licker, the ear lick move while wearing a rosary is complete douche.

monty: LILA ALZADOES!

marita: i’ve decided that because of the rosary, brian gonna have to get my vote. this means that leagues of zealous catholics want him tarred and feathered, drawn and quartered, and burned at the stake. im the most cynical catholic I know and it even makes me want to uppercut a woodland creature.

Ol’ Bag: Earlicker is pure douche. Lila looks as if she is choking back down a little vomit…would that she would have spewed it on him just as the pic was taken. If she is the mom to the chick in the Haiku pic….I’ll stick with the mom.

But Fist of Power also felt the wrath of voters confused by the shirt-tatt and Fist of, well, power.

Charles Nelson Douchely: Fist of power. Mainly due to the fact he likely purchased that shirt to tide him over until he get get the actual tattoo that looks just like that.

And the nicker brings smart voting strategy into play:

Earlicker’s going to win, so I’m voting for 2nd place, and I’m taking the homies. That picture angers me like nothing in the past few weeks . . .

And rumpelscroteskin agrees:

I like the Earlicker and Lila, but I’ve seen the tongue move before. Not very new. She looks great.

I give my vote to the HOMIES, but only because of that sensational brunette hottie, who has to be the best looking gal of the bunch. And what is that fellow doing with shaved armpits? Hasn’t he ever heard of a shower and Old Spice?

Well said, and props to every voter who did their patriotic duty this election season and stepped up to vote with the Yin/Yang polarities of lust and rage for a hott/douche.

I’ll turn it over to Darksock for the final vote on this, the day after election day:

Earlicker/Boobies. If only the Republicans had run on that ticket there would be 50 red states tomorrow.

And by red I mean brown.

And really, does it matter who won the President or Senate races? Well, yes. It does. But the 2008 Douchies are next month.

There is douche-mocking to be done.

# posted by douchebag1

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