Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Best Golden Globes

Voting is now open for the 2008 Douchie Award for the Best Golden Globes of 2008. Your nominees are:

Best Golden Globes Nominee #1: Jasmina from “The Four Horsemen of the Douchepocalypse

From September, the Four Horsemen circling Jasmina represented instant Hottie/Douchey poetry.

She is all that is sweet and wholesome.

She is all that is blooming and fertile and firm and boobalicious.

She makes my happy pants do the Nepalese river dance.

And the Horsemen are four slices of choad six ways to Sunday.

Best Golden Globes Nominee #2: The Hourglass from “The Beachbag and the Hourglass”

A weekly winner in August, the Hourglass’s insane curviture carried a standard issue Greasebag to victory.

Is the Hourglass enhanced or all natural? Does it matter?

For her Golden Globes are greasy, shiny, ovetanned ripe apples of succulent melonic perfection. They dance and shimmy like hula dancers in a “Five Dollar Foot Long” Subway commercial.

They vibrate and gellatenate.

They are nice.

Best Golden Globes Nominee #3: The Smearkat

A weekly winner in late May, The Smearkat brings the potency of an ass-kick-worthy uberdouche into play.

She is delightful European Scandanavian confusion, and he is a greasy choad of greasy turditude.

But this is the Best Golden Globes category of Douchie, so we must consider the worthiness of her bosomic bosoms.

They are nice.

Yes.

Yes they are.

They are very nice.

I have nothing more to add except that her Globes are very nice.

Nice.

Best Golden Globes Nominee #4: Four Points

Unable to reduce this category to three, I’m including a fourth candidate for voting, the legendary Four Points.

Not only featuring that covertly erotic “Best Friend of your Sister” hottness, Four Points also featured one of the best emails from a choad in one of the pics, which you can read here.

In addition to being a good sport about being on the site, The Pointer confirms that Points #3 and #4 are, indeed, all natural.

For those who factor in natural impressiveness, this may be a factor in your voting.

So them’s the four (eight). Which pair of Golden Globes is most deserving of the 2008 Douchie? That is up to you.

Vote in the comments thread, and voting continues in the earlier categories as well.

# posted by douchebag1

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