Monday, December 8, 2008

Douchie: Best Ass Pear

Voting is now open for the 2008 Douchie for “Best Ass Pear.” Here are your finalists:

Best Ass Pear Finalist #1: Ass Not What Your Country Can Do For You

Two firm mounds of love rump roast, simmering in a delectable suntan lotion sauce.

Two delightful half-loafs of fleshburst.

Two Angels of Heavenly song.

Two melons of cantaloupe.

Two butt bongo butt fiestas.

I would tap out the rhythm to Rush’s Tom Sawyer on them using only spoons, clothes pins and my chin. Greased up with chicken fat.

And yet, Ass Not is being mugged by one of those t-shirt-tatt wearing Vegas Doucheflushes, making the Ass Pear fully eligible for a 2008 Douchie Award. Nice how that works.

Ass Pear Finalist #2: Ass Pear

Do not let the fact this category is named for the name of this pic influence your vote. Ass Pear must win the 2008 Douchie in the “Ass Pear” category on merit, not legacy.

With a Pumpy-Lite army cargo shorts wearing shaved chest musclebag, the dialectic is in full force.

The Ass Pear is ripe and fruity, and on sale at Albertson’s.

She is delectable.

He is douche-choad.

Together, they are a worthy #2 in this category.

Ass Pear Finalist #3: Melon Butt

From back on the day before Labor Day, Melon Butt and her gang of Frat-scrotes made an immediate impact on the site.

She, for the, well, the Melon Butt. They for the Fratdouchery of slap worthy slappiness.

Her large, firm, childbearing hips and her sweet smile, while getting gang tackled by the rejected dance crew from Justin Timberlake’s 2005 Phat tour, make this entire pic smell like rank uberpoo and feet.

But this is the “Ass Pear” category. And so we judge on Ass Pear quality in dialectic with douche-choad.

Which of the following three deserves the 2008 Douchie? Vote, as always, in the comments thread. And note that voting also remains open in the HCwDB of the Year Bracket 1 vote (scroll down).

# posted by douchebag1

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