Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Hottest "Girl Next Door" Hott

In the category of “Hottest ‘Girl Next Door’ Hott,” your nominees are:

Hottest ‘Girl Next Door’ Hott Finalist #1: Mindy from “The Yak”

The Yak first appeared on the site in late March, and Yaks’ vomitorious reaction to the luscious and perfectly tanned girl next door, Mindy, was enough to inspire rage in more than a few readers.

Her smile holds the hope of healthy, viable womb, and many future generations of children through procreation.

And her boobies make me want to yell “Yayyy!!” and run around with the kids on the short bus until the teacher gave us all a collective time-out.

Hottest ‘Girl Next Door’ Hott Finalist #2: Halo Angel

With a name inspired by my then new XBox360, the delightful Halo Angel, and her unshaven Frat-tool, first appeared on the site back in August.

With flawless skin, perfect teeth, and bright, doe eyes, Halo Angel has the face that inspires men to charge into battle and risk castration from the King’s henchmen, just for the chance to glimpse her discarded tissue papers in the mud outside Leighton Castle.

And smirky kissy-lips hippybag needs a serious ass kicking.

Hottest ‘Girl Next Door’ Hott Finalist #3: Stonebag’s Hott from “Stonebag”

From all the way back in February we debated whether Stonebag here actually qualified for “douche” status or not (consensus was no).

But what was undeniable was StoneHott’s quirky yet gorgeous “girl-next-door” vibrational vibrato. Being performed by the London Philharmonic. In my loins.

She has the slender elongated fingers of a piano player, and the body of melted marshmallow moonpie, fluffed to a perfect fluff.

I would punch an arthritic Nun in Calcutta just for the chance to sniff the moss covered stone steps her aunt once threw up on during her time in the Peace Corps in 1978.

So them’s your three.

Only one may take the 2008 Douchie for Hottest Girl Next Door Hott.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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