Monday, January 26, 2009

Ask DB1: Facial Hair Trouble


Female reader A writes in:

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Dear DB1,

I stand in need of your counsel. My significant other is contemplating shaving his normal, neat beard into something “trendier.” All his ideas scream “douchebag!” to me. While he is not at all douchey, I shudder at the idea of a boyfriend with a chin strap and goatee. Please share examples of ‘bags with gross facial hair so I can properly show him what I’m trying to avoid.

Help me, Douchebag1. You’re my only hope.

Yours,

A
—-

To help you out with this conundrum, A, the legendary Cro ‘Bagnon decided to stop by and say Unnnnghhrrrrrrgghhhhhh.

Which, roughly translated, means, “The detailed sculpting of facial hair pattern is performed by only the choadiest of douchewankers, therefore if your significant other chooses such an undertaking, he is, in fact, a smelly scrotemunch.”

Listen to Cro ‘Bagnon, A. For he knows of what he speaks.

# posted by douchebag1

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