Wednesday, January 21, 2009

HCwDB of the Week: Studs Urkel


All three pics had supporters. All three pics almost won.

But the creepy tri-vag facial pubes, 20 degree Jesus Bling Hat Tilt, and the sexy, curvy Cleopatra took the most votes:

dbBen: Studs Urkel. Only Ming the Merciless should have a beard that pointy.

Anonymous: i gotta go with Studs, easily the hottest hott, and the most punchable face of the bunch

The Donger: Studs Urkel FTW, but I nominate WTF for a 2009 Douchie in the category of Douchiest Bling.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Vaginas: studs urkel for the win. having cornrows on your face is a poorly thought out idea.

Anonymous: Studs Urkel, The unbelievable hotness to douche nozzle ratio is just too unbalanced not to give recognition.

Excellent and concise evisceration on the part of all ‘bag hunters and huntresses, good work people. But The Oily Bohunk also had support:

Frederic Choadpin: The simplicity of Bohunk may hurt him in the end, but he is all douche. His simple genius is reminiscent of the subtle and introspective genius of a Miles Davis solo, with the fecal stench of Kenny G’s soprano. Bohunk FTW.

stitchgroover: Gotta vote for Oily Bohunk. This guy is pure douche – no hats, no belts, no tatts… just essence of douche.

The Bohunk had classic ‘bag essence, and a tasty girl-next-door, and was a worthy candidate. Meanwhile, the freakish Sunday WTF aka ‘Bag Bats Maru also found support:

pineconeboy: The Sunday WTF is just too hilariously surreal to pass up. Another vote for Bag Bats Maru.

Anonymous: ‘Bag Bats Maru FTW. What more can I say other than grill + boobies = winner.

But the everpresent Anonymous explains why S.U. and Cleo are too strong a hottie/douchey coupling to ignore:

I would have to give Studs the win here as well. This douche-waffle shows an extra level of skeezerness by carrying around an SLR camera to make hotties think that their picture may wind up someplace other than this wank’s flat screen monitor in a darkened room (ok, that’s an image I will have a hard time dismissing) or MySpace. Besides, how can you take a picture with your hat pulled over your face and the lens cap probably still on the lens??

The camera was the key uber-douche givaway that many ‘bag hunters missed in this pic. It is technology as a douchrement. As such, it should be mocked.

Great work to all who voted, and we’ll see Urkel and Cleo in the Monthly.

# posted by douchebag1

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