Monday, February 2, 2009

HCwDB of the Month

Booya! Bring it. Like an overhyped sporting event designed to sell Dreamworks movies and soda products, here’s your finalists for the HCwDB of the Month:

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: Sir Sucks-a-Lot

He sucks. A lot.

And Talor Dayne Chicka is all that’s tasty in Timbuktu.

In a first here at HCwDB, Sir Sucks-a-Lot not only pulled enough residual douche from last November to win the first HCwDB of the Week in 2009, but less than two weeks later, won another HCwDB of the Week disguised as Studs Urkel.

That’s some righteous (wrongteous) game to bring to the Monthly.

With two different quality hotts and two equally rank, yet equally distinct, variations of scrotal fungus, Sucks-a-Lot will be tough to beat.

But he’s no shoo-in either.

The competition is tough this month. And Sir Sucks-a-Lot will need all his game to win the Monthly.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: The Ghoulbag

The Ghoulbag is important because the combo Rockerbag + Emobag needs more highlighting on this site.

And by highlighting, I mean mocking for faux-“toughness.”

The three Party Girls are delightfully sweet, if not the traditional hottness we’ve come to know and oogle.

But they are definitely shoulder suckle worthy.

And he is wearing two belts.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: ‘Bag Bats Maru

Paid to Pose?

Perhaps.

All sorts of freaky-deaky iconic hottie/douchey wrongness?

No doubt.

Dig the smoking jacket and bling overload on ‘Bag Bats Maru. And Playboy Bunny artificial inflation don’t hide the genetic attributes of Midwestern Bunny Hott.

He may be a jewelry designer of some kind, but that doesn’t excuse bringing some creepy-ass choadyness to the party.

For that, and for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s forfeiture of his 2nd Weekly, ‘Bag Bats made it to the Finals.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: The Sharpie Ringworm

Another pic that is gimmicky, yet still authentically hottie/douchey mock-worthy.

Gimmick pics, like Acey-Douchey, can still carry a scrotewank a decent distance provided the douchitude eminates and the hott is suitably tasty.

This assclown actually drew rings on his face and neck area in a desperate cry for attention. And the chest shave / reveal combo is spew.

Burka Mid-Eastern Cutie has a bizarrro mix of designer sunglasses, some form of unidentifiable head-garb, and absolutely suck-worthy teeth.

Polished, buffed and with a clean shine.

They’re like the Jet-Dry dishwashing liquid of teeth.

And if that makes no sense, it’s only because I’m hungover and smell like socks.

So them’s your four finalists for HCwDB of the Month. I can’t do it without you. I need your vote to select one of these pics as the first pic to make it to the 2009 HCwDB of the Year in December at the Douchie Awards.

Which’ll it be? That’s up to you.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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