Monday, February 9, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

While The Blowfish goes Germanic in Mädchen mit Vollpfosten, this should be a strange and fascinating HCwDB of the Week.

I want you to use this as a Zen exercise.

Clear your mind. Then regard each pic in its totality. Each in its smelly poosity. Each in its offering of suckle thigh. Which rises to the top to call itself HCwDB of the Week? Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Kettlehead

Consistency.

Some call it the hobgoblin of little minds.

I call it eyebrow stare.

Let us not forget Kettlehead’s sparkling run of eyebrow and open, tight t-shirt chest shave while macking a K-Mart Fun Pak of hottness, here, here, here, here and here.

Kettlehead’s understated douchescrotery in presence of a bevy of A-List boobnanny makes him a formidable foe in the Weekly.

But enough to pull off the win?

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: 2009 An Orange Odyssey

Orange.

Far and away the most disturbing of new douchal developments in 2009 is the orange pigmentation plague striking suburban wiggas across the country.

Even more disturbing, there’s Derek Jeter Head.

Making the rare “cocked gun middle finger” ‘bag hand gesture, with low cut Gator shirt displaying even more orange.

Heck, I’m talking myself out of Kettlehead just writing this. Lookit this wank. How badly does he need an ass kicking?

And then there’s Cynthia. My sweet, suburban princess, Cynthia. All sorts of sparking smile and hint of perky, perfect boobage. Tiny, huggable waist and taut, suckable thigh.

She is boobalicious.

For back-to-basics douchescrotery and delightful Pixie Stick Hott, this combo deserves its chance in the Weekly.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Douchie Pop

There’s something to be said for the punchable douche-face while getting licked by slender hott.

Douchie Pop is the perfect example of classic West Coast Mandana Mark McGrath Sugar Ray ‘Bag douchosity. And don’t forget Pic #2.

West Coast Douche deserves to be mocked on a consistent basis around here. Just as we mock Jerz Guid on the East Coast.

For tight black wifebeater and lower lip piercing, Douchie Pop is all that is rank in Long Beach.

Honorable mention to Crazy Eyes Killah, Scarfly, Toronto Poo Jay, Rusty The Frill Necked Lizard and the ridiculously hot hott in White Out (hall of hott candidate?).

Damn, that was a fine run of HCwDB pics over the past two weeks. Props to all ‘bag hunters who submit these pics and prevent me from having to sober up and do any real work around here.

But now it’s up to you.

Is Kettlehead the runaway winner? Or does the hottie/douchey stank of Douchie Pop or 2009: An Orange Odyssey piss you off even more?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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