Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Kiwidouche

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Hi DB1,

Fly west from Sydney three hours and you’ll hit New Zealand, Aotearoa, land of the long white cloud. Venture out on a night and you’ll encounter kiwidouche.

Kiwidouche grow disproportionately, the claws achieving a size too large for the yet undeveloped body to control. Hence the squint-eyed visage lost in the ecstasy of grope as the strobe light pulses, hinting at seizure.

Luckily, this junior kiwidouche will soon be at peace with the forest, cut down not by the URC, which is yet to cast its predatory shadow over godzone, but by the overpriced premixed rendition of one Jim Beam, mate.

Young blonde surfer hotts are free again to ride the next wave of bourbon sweat.

Yours,

New Doucheland 1.
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Well tagged, ND1, and what is clear is that the Grieco Virus, unleashed from America upon the world, has still only taken a budding root in countries like New Zealand.

You must fight back before the douche virus spreads. Save the blonde party hotts. By mocking the Kiwibag. From a safe distance.

And if that doesn’t work, hitting on his hotts when he’s in the bathroom.

# posted by douchebag1

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