Wednesday, April 15, 2009

HCwDB of the Month: Crosshair McJohnson and Leia


From the moment this coupling of tasty Latina Orgaana and thespian frosted tipped taint showed up, there was no doubt.

With their run of ancillary pics, here, here and here, not even Lobot could stop this from taking place. The voters speak:

Justin: Crosshair Mc-J wins the monthly and MUST be a favorite for a 2009 douchie. This shiny headed tool has so many of the attributes that we all love to hate/mock, he is almost a fakebag. Yet, he does not jest. Crosshair McJohnson is very, very serious. Leia hott is by far one of the most smokin’ hotts ever to grace this site, and should also be considered for a ‘hall of hott” admittance. Hott, hott, and hott. In addition, hott.

Douchimus Prime: Crosshair by a frosted tip over Purple Lips

Your Average Rocker Douche: Crosshair. He is the douche Architype. Lea, clearly bleeth yet I would still drown an entire class of preschoolers while their parents watched just experience her ‘conversation’ skills.

Lulu: Crosshairs. Because when I see him on “Intervention” in a few seasons (you know it’s coming, he can’t fill that void in his soul with roids, black eyeliner and nail polish forever) I can say, “Hey! That’s the guy I voted for in the monthly!”

Anonymous: Rarely has a monthly been so clear-cut and obvious…Crosshair FTW. The sneer alone is worthy of the crown, and the ever-critical rage factor is through the goddamn roof.

boatbutter: Crosshair & Leia by two challa loaves.

Erin Hottavich: I have to say Crosshair & Leia – only because the ‘Bag reminds me of my ex (before I realized he was, in fact, a douche). She’s almost enough of a bleeth to make me quit my job so I may go forth on a mission to convert her back to a respectable human being… then I realized she is merely a drop in the bucket of sacrificed lamb’s blood. There is no turning back. It’s sad, really. So, I sleep… and pray not to dream of his tatts or her kissy lips… and if I do may I die before I wake.

TheShadowHost: Crosshair McJohnson and Leia. It’s that air of entitlement that seems to ooze out of his forehead, even his hair is trying to escape from it!

It was a slamdunk no-contest victory of poo. But Doughboy’s sag and Gidget’s boobs found support as well. And by support, I mean support:

saulgoode42: Gotta be Doughboy and Gidget. She is wayy too fine for his ordinary ass. I bet five minutes after this picture was taken she left him for a body builder or an architect or something.

portlandouche: I have to vote for Gidget. I don’t care who she’s posing with… I just want more Gidget, and others like her.

Gidget is most definitely some crazed retro pinup fantasy. And the ambiguously purple Purple Lips also found voters:

Emma G: Purple Lips FTW, for he makes my “purple lips” pucker in fear, tighten in revulsion and.. whatever, he is all that is wrong in this world. Orange pooey grossness. Yuck.

Anonymous: Purple Lips. Because he reminds me of Xerxes, and we all know how much of a douche he was.

And the Marsupials limped into Fourth place. Apparently, the Vegas choads don’t rankle like they used to. Maybe we’ve seen too many of them. So I’ll turn it to the everpresent anonymous to make the case:

Crosshair McJohnson because he sucks on a different spectrum than the rest. And that spectrum is poo.

Indeed it is. We’ll see these two in December as yet another strong contender for HCwDB of the Year.

# posted by douchebag1

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