Wednesday, April 22, 2009

HCwDB of the Week: Anchor Chin and Raquel


At first it seemed like the Vegas rocker choadery of Wings McPoint and the beauty of Elle would be a Weekly winner.

But then Raquel beboobsed into the boobs, along with her Wayne Newton douche. The voters speak:

g0dsluvugly: the concept of douche has always entailed the juxtaposition of internal and external components. that being said, Anchor Chin has mastered fully both necessary elements of douchedome. his douche aura is strong. it ruminates in my psyche long long after the collapsing of my browser. his external manifestation of scrote is no less impressive. he has mastered the spectacle of taint in one of its purest forms. and raquel. jesus christ have mercy on my soul for i have lusted after her mammary glands repeatedly. anchor chin ftw.

Gee Forgé: Anchor Chin Boobs McSuppleMountains for the win!!! For scoring pretty damn close to a ten on the head butt/motor boat desirability scale.

Anonymous: Anchor chin. I like the way Raquel is tipping her head so she doesn’t look too much taller than he is.

Azhid: I’ll take boobies for 200, Trebek.

Crucial Head: I am voting for Anchor Chin and Raquel. Simply put, I applaud her applause makers. May she jog right into the Monthly. And by ‘jog,’ I mean trampoline. And by ‘the Monthly,’ I mean the tented lap beneath my desk.

The Observation Specialist: Number 2 should win, because that girl has extremely large boobies.

ike: anchor chin chin ftw. for having the bagdacity of being that close to raquel’s delicious globes of perfectly soft boobs.

Anonymous: Anchor Chin and Raquel for the win. Too much boobies to lust. Too much poo to despise.

siDOUCHous: While all are contenders, Anchor Chin and Raquel are the embodiment of HCWDB. Anchor chin has no redeeming qualities: he isn’t buff, he looks like a tool, and clearly by the facial hair he is a full time douche. A hard profession to maintain in today’s job market. Then there is lovely Raquel, who warms us with her smile and cleavage, making us forget for a split second that people like Anchor Chin exist.

Snoop Douchey Bagg: When it’s time for my physician assisted suicide, I want Dr. Raquel to smother me to death.

Marcel Douchechamp: As much as I want to chain the Bumpkins to the back of my car and drag them over a gravel road, I have to go with Anchor Chin. There’s something about an Adnan Ghalib wannabe that makes me want to… boobies!

Anonymous 3:16: Raquel and AC – do it for the boobies.

Anonymous: Anchor Chin FTW! The Douche/Hott dialectic is in full swing here and there is not denying those BOOBIES!

Excellently argued panel, and it’s clear this is a well deserving weekly winner, partly because this toxic commingling actually feels like a real coupling. Which just makes me sad and blue. Coming in a solid second, Wings McPoint:

Seargent Scrote Stain: What is the true essence of a weekly winner? Is it the wood inducing mammary pillows as shown by Raquel? Or is it the complete and utter rage that burns deep within my soul from so much as glancing at Wings McPoint? Judging by the three dead puppies and smashed computer screen in my immediate vicinity, I would have to say that Wing McPoint gets my vote. Now excuse me, I need to go find some kittens to drown.

Anonymous: Wings McPoint FTW. The glasses, hair, ‘roids, tatts, drink straw placement…it’s a murderer’s row of scrote. This guy should be forced to watch “The View” for the rest of his life as punishment for being such a human skid mark.

The View seems a bit harsh for even the worst douchefender. I thought Wings and Elle had the Weekly in the, well, ‘bag, until Anchor and Raquel came along. Coming in a respectable third place, the Blumpkins:

euripidouche: smashing blumpkins, because in any well regulated universe even a scrawny douchebag who wears pictures of guns and self styles as a hitman wouldn’t get get within 300 yards of a woman.

But the everpresent Anonymous brings it home for Raquel’s boobs and Anchor Chin’s doucheyness:

Raquel. I try to look away, try to get back to my work and life, try to look at other pics on this site, but that cleavite… it is indeed all that is right and just and perfect in this world… it draws you in and warms you and makes you realize that maybe there is a God and He can indeed create perfection.

And then you look at Anchor Chin. You are mad, angry, but thankfully you can only look for a second because Raquel’s swelling calls you back again. Nestle in and vote for Raquel.

And so we did. Perfect sunrise hope of hottness and total tool of douchewankery. That’s an HCwDB winner if I’se ever seen one.

Great work everyone. We’ll see this pair, and I do mean “pair,” again in the Monthly.

# posted by douchebag1

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