Wednesday, April 8, 2009

HCwDB of the Week: The Primitive Marsupials


After a solid contest of scrote and boob, it was a strong victory for classic Vegas choad and curvy hott this week in the Weekly. The voters speak:

Chris in ‘Baghdad: I say the prize goes to the Marsupials…simple math and 20/20 vision add up to more douche markers that the competition. Higher math, say calculus, could probably calculate the exponential forces of warp-douche wrought by these scrotebags. Marsupes!

Doctor Douchelittle: Primitive Marsupials FTW. I predict the release of tattoo sleeve shirt reproductions within the next week.

The Donger: TPM – for the fact that pube-hawk and pink bleeth have matching ab tattoos. That and the Balls Deep pants on the other dude. All sorts of wrong here.

Yodadouche: The Marsupials, define douchedom they do.

dbBen: This is the type of life fail that most needs correcting. Society doesn’t need these guys, their music, their attitude, or anything that they deem important. But their RockBand band is TIGHT

Dead End: The Primitive Marsupials FTW, by just a tattooed pectoral muscle.

Anonymous: I vote for the primitive douchewanks. For everything within me screams out at the skidmark hairstyle on the dress-like “boardshorts” wearing douchwanker with his pooey self so close to those perfect orbs, albeit with a pearl necklace around her already. If that weren’t enough the 38 degree hat tilt looks dangerously close to the empty head of another luscious bleeth. I’m to going to cry now as I leave a mark on my toilet that looks much like half of this picture.

Billdouchiest the Wild Swine: The Marsupials, also known as homo habilis. Yes, they are the remnants of that extinct line of humanity, and were the orignal users of Axxxxxe body spray, some 2.3 million years ago.

Douchetros Douchetros Ghali: I want to wipe my ass with that mohawk, and I want to have a few days warning so that I can build up some dingleberries. Front to back, of course. Marsupials FTW

Sin Douchealot: has to be the marsupials FTW. while the shot is generic, the funbags fake, and only one smile in the picture, it’s the best representation of that which we seek to avoid. and, all things considered, isn’t that what the weekly douchies are all about?

Indeed it is, Sir D. And well said, panel. The Marsupials are one of those pics that grows on you. Like a fungus. The more you stare, the more it rankles. Nothing wrong with returning this site to a classic Vegas douche pic.

But the licking of hott Jean Jacket Jerry found support as well:

RAPETIME: This week there is no contest, Jean Jacket Jerry is the “winner”. That he exists is a crime. That he has touched Cheryl is a death-penalty offense. That he likely has profaned her loveliness with his shriveled genitals will send me off to my sleep weeping every night for the rest of my life.

douche springsteen: J-3 and Cheryl for the win. This pic combines the sacred and the profane perhaps like none other on this site. Thats the kind of guy who loves to smell his own balls and has no business being within 10 feet of that goddess. Cheryl, just say the word and I’ll gladly rip his tongue out with a pair of needle nose pliers.

Anonymous: Jean Jacket Jerry FTW! Everything about this douche reminds me of another famous douche, Bon Jovi (circa 1980’s, 1990’s, 2000’s). The jean jacket, the hair, the pose, the white jeans, the chain…. All he needs now is an army of 4 douches to complete his ensemble.

cool hand douche: J3 FTW. didn’t even notice white pants, wallet chain and low cut women’s v-neck shirt before today. cheryl is minxy hippie goodness.

I’m pleased that the non-traditional scrotewankery of Jean Jacket Jerry, and the uberhott of Cheryl, found appreciation. And by appreciation, I mean shoe-in-poo annoyance. And coming in a distant third was the pumped up Greazy-E:

anon Gee Bee: It’s Greazy-E – he’s got just enough d-baggery going – and the contrast with the tiny and tempting Blondie is extra-high-def.

Douche-Bo Baggins: Definitely Greazy-E. Look closely, not only does he have reptillian eyes, it looks like he’s missing a few teeth. He looks like a guinea pig eating extra from the old mini-series “V”.

Greazy-E was ultimately too friendly a ‘bag to really threaten. A kissy-lips and sneer would’ve helped his cause. And his hott is hott, no matter what they say about her thickness. But Todd brings it home:

The Marsupials FTW.

Their attire and tattoos indicate many, many past instances in which they could have, at any point, called time-out on their scrotewankery.

But no, nothing, no resistance at all. Just sitting there in the middle of the street, staring blankly…and thus deserving to be run down by our minivan of collective scorn.

Well said Todd, and props again to another excellent panel. The Marsupials at first appear to be just another Vegas Douche Duo macking on the hotts. But look closer. They are scrote on a level that deserves acknowledgement.

Book the Marsupials and the Vegas Hotts a ticket to the last slot in Monday’s Monthly. It should be a poozy.

# posted by douchebag1

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