Thursday, April 9, 2009

Lauren's Close Encounter


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Hey DB1-

I just thought I should inform you of the douchebag I spotted in the wild the other day.

While driving on a rural highway on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, I spotted a bag in the car next to me. It was glorious! The hair on the top of his head was spiked straight up and at least an inch high, while the lower half of his head was shaved shiny bald. His collar was popped, and while I couldn’t see if he had Jesus bling on a necklace he did have a large cross on his mirror. It was a very cloudy day, but he was wearing sunglasses anyway. He looked rather large and muscle-y as well.

He wasn’t sporting the 10 degree hat tilt, but I think that’s only because he was driving a Honda Hatchback and a hat wouldn’t fit into the car with him. And there was no hott in the car either.

I wish I had a picture to back this up, but I thought that not crashing my own car was a superior alternative to getting the picture. I will, however, keep my eyes open for the elusive wild ‘bag – it would seem that even when they don’t have anyone to douche around with and wouldn’t be caught dead driving that car near a club with hotts, they still manage to be a complete DB.

-Lauren
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I’d say nice work Lauren, but since you didn’t get a pic, I’ll just say that your ‘bag antennae were well tuned, and your email was enjoyable. Every time a girl writes in with an email ‘tag, my jubblies get happy hap. Even if there was no capture of the event.

So to go with this email, here’s a random picture of douche and suckle torso.

# posted by douchebag1

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