Tampa Michael Bay
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DB1,
As a native Tampanian, or Tampon, It has lamentably come to my attention that Tampa is becoming, or has become, a douche hot spot as you can see from the very recent picture we took over the weekend.
I have been a follower and fan of your website for some time and I have noticed that Tampa and Vegas seems to get quite a bit of attention. The optimistic side of me wants to think that Tampa and Vegas simply has a more attentive and douche-sensitive population and more cameras perhaps than other cities, but the forces of reality are making me realize that Tampa could in fact just be a haven.
I have no explanation and I can provide no logical reasoning. I was hoping you, with your seemingly peerless douche knowledge, could provide some insight and perhaps recommend a way to reclaim our city.
-Cognize Tampanian
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C.T., I can only offer you my detailed and comprehensively developed Tampa Michael Bay Theory, or what I call the T.M.B.T. It goes like this:
Tampa Bay is like Michael Bay.
Both are loud, pointless and go to strip bars.
Q.E.D.
