Monday, May 11, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

Last week was an excellent sampling of the hott/choad, and it was tough to cull down to three finalists. But cull I must. And by cull, I mean drink.

Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Waxy McBrow and Rachelle

For bringing classic Eastern European Scrotifery to the game, Waxy is understated douche.

And by understated, I mean extreme bothersomeness.

And lets not forget the other pics in this sequence of VIP Taint: Waxy and Goose and Waxy and Co..

Rachelle is all that is golden in Guadalcanal.

All that is boobie in Borneo.

Her implants may be implanted, but her smile is 100% authentically inspirational. It causes poets to weep softly, and cheetahs to run with extreme speed across the Serengeti.

Together, they make a worthy finalist pair.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Herp Salad

Lunch? Only if you like crabs.

Herpster may be a PTP Douche. And Carolyn may be PTP Hott.

But if they’re both paid, then neither are the payee, and therefore the coupling is authentobaggery. That’s my logic and I’m sticking to it.

And if you like that logic train wreck, I blame the Steven Hawking methodology of slide ruler analysis. It states that if an atom in a state of particle/wave flux is positioned on the edge of a black hole, then thighs deserve to be licked with peanut butter.

Hmm.

Maybe I got that system slightly wrong.

Regardless, this guy sucks, and she’s tasty.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: White Boy and Bunny Lebowski

Anyone who tattoos “White Boy” on their stomach deserves a Weekly shot.

And whether or not that’s really Bunny, and I think it is, she’s certainly munchable enough in that trashy Vegas way to hold up the hott side of the douche/hott equation.

For making the gang pose and containing a sneery face, White Boy’s still uberdouchey even without the fwippy hair.

Bunny has implanted curves that Shannon Hoon O.D.ed on.

Yeah. That was a Shannon Hoon reference. Because stuff actually did happen in the early 1990s. We’ve just blocked it all out because it smelled so flannely.

(Dis)honorable mention to Grad School Melissa and Whiffy the Clown, Umbiko’s Vision, The Frying Pan to the Head ‘Bag, and the massively impressive Trunk, all of whom were thisclose, and in a regular week, each probably would’ve made it.

But this was a tough week, and as such, each finalist is worthy of its own unique mockage/lustage.

But which coupling rises to the top? That, fellow ‘bag hunters, is up to you.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 2 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)