Monday, June 15, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

This is a deliciously douchey/boobie HCwDB of the Week, with three equally pungent pairings of the suckle-n-choad vying for the crown.

Which will rise to the top (bottom) of the boobie (douchey) universe? That’s up to you, fellow ‘bag hunters and huntresses. Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Guido Buttchinsky

An A-Lister in the classic Long Island / Jerz / Staten Island mold, and I do mean mold, Guido Buttchinsky is what this site is all about.

But what of the HC side of the ledger?

Tonya is cute, wholesome and drinking a Big Gulp. Her older sister/mom, is friendly enough, and has fishnet boobies.

But Guido’s overpowering Orangeness is so strong, so gel spiked, that even the background is turning orange.

A worthy Weekly finalist. But enough to take the prize?

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Lumpy and Steph

Steph is one of those strikingly natural beauties who causes heart palpitations and gout in agar test samples.

Hers is the smile of generational conflict.

His is the greasy mug of tool-douchery that can only be explained when one realizes he’s wearing matching necklace and belt buckle skulls.

Repeat.

He’s wearing matching necklace and belt buckle skulls.

Toss in the drink + hand gesture move, his second pic licking a blonde, and an ownership embrace of Steph in the rec room of an abandoned YMCA, and even the elfstones of Shannara can’t fully explain this.

It is tripe.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Kitchenbag

The Kitchenbag is classic lazy-eyed scrotifery.

Meghan is china-doll porcelain delightfulness, even if it appears she may be, as they say in Indochine, “Plump with child.”

I, for one, do not think she is preggers. I think she has a food baby and needs to burp. But I could be wrong.

Meatwad may have gotten her in child way, through the sheer power of his ginormous tatted up, yet limply hanging arm.

Does that arm even work?

It looks like a dead kangaroo hanging from a willow tree.

So them’s your three. And what a tough choice it is.

(Dis)honorable mention to the Urban Cowbag, Pubic Enemy, and the uberhott swarm of nondouchey regular guys who won the lottery in nymphette paradise, ‘Bags / Nottabags.

I do not envy you this task.

You must choose. Which of these three pics rises enough to call itself HCwDB of the Week?

Vote, as ever, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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