Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ask DB1: Whither the Follicle?


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Dear DB1,

I am 28 years old and I have a receding hairline.

I think comb-overs and other maneuvers to hide balding are silly and useless. From your website and the example of E-Blo, I have also learned that if I tried, I’d be douchey.

But if I wear (what’s left of) my hair pushed up and off of my scalp, bravely exposing naked skin where hair is supposed to be, I’m afraid I am going to stray into ‘blowout’ territory.

I’m going to have a haircut later today and need an urgent consultation on how to wear my hair so I can split the difference between comb-over and blowout. Douchiness crouches on every side! Help me to come through to the other side un-tainted.

Thank you,
– Douche Scrotewalker

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It’s about the gel levels, D.S., more so than the style itself. In the example provided here, Pinky McGuppiemouth macks on Theresa with only a stage-2 shirt offense (skulls = autodouche). His receding hairstyle would not be a problem, until he overgels to the point of crust.

Do not crest the crustline, D.S. Some product is fine, but if your hair looks like the sky in a Van Gogh, you’ve crossed the line.

# posted by douchebag1

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