Monday, August 31, 2009

HCwDB of the Month

Like a tasty chocolate truffle covered with moldy ass taint, our four couples each bring a unique angle to the HCwDB experience. But which will rise to the top/bottom?

Which will earn a slot in the HCwDB of the Year?

That, friends, is up to you. Your nominees:

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: The Eurobag and Monique

Creepy eyes. Angora sweater. Shaved chest. Bedazzled jeans.

Toulouse Lautrec just encouraged Man Ray to tack his ballsack to an art museum wall and call it art.

Monique is giggly and freshly scrubbed and comes to Los Angeles to see Dodger Stadium.

Because why else come to America but to see Dodger Stadium?

Together, this coupling is real world poopyhead.

Therefore we must mock. It is our global civic duty. To help our European bretheren, as we did in WWII.

Note to the ladies: The black lacy bra-strap poking out of a wide necked t-shirt? Yes please.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: Scrote Baio and Ophelia

Charles in charge… of looking like ass… and like poo…

Not since Heather Locklear’s boobs popped out in Zapped! has Scrote Baio achieved tosser-like status.

Joker hat, mandana. Man Ray just tacked his head to a wall and called it “poo.”

In the jokes industry, that’s what they call a “callback.” Because I’m down with the lingo.

Back to Baio, Baio’s got the garish tatts, the designer basketball jersey, and the head too large for his body.

Sweet, innocent Ophelia. Like Monique, this is the second purity hott in the contest, adding an extra toxic level to the commingling with toad. Sure they probably won’t win, but lets not overlook their worthiness to be here.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Schmuckhead and Claudina Ass Pear

Schmuckhead brings two very potent angles to the game.

1. Chin dribble and ‘tude.

2. Tremendously impressive and rage worthy fondling of female Ass Pear.

Observe the Schmuckhead/AssPear run as seen in pic #2, pic#3 and pic#4.

Sure the ladies are trampy hotts. In annoying Ed Hardy-esque dresses and making puckers and kissy lips.

But curvy badonka-ass cannot be denied it’s impressive talents. And Schmuckhead’s club haunting foolifery deserves its rightful place in societal mock.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: Smoot and Crystal

The run of pics bespeak a hottie/douchey legend, as seen in pic #2, pic #3 , pic #4, pic #5, pic #6. and pic #7.

But has Smoot’s attitude faded with time? Or is he going to crush the competition and take his place in the 2009 Douchie Award’s coveted HCwDB of the Year category?

What of Crystal’s attitudinal hottness? Not as innocent as some of the others in competition.

But sweet and curvy nonetheless.

Worth saving from Smoot’s pumped up charms.

So which of these four Weekly winners earns your vote? Step up. Don’t be shy. Plunk down your hypothetical dollar and take your shot at the cans.

As always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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