Monday, August 3, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

This is an absolutely epic Weekly.

Last week was the Monthly, so we have two weeks of hottie/douchey pics to process. And what a two weeks of spectral poo and angelic boobitude it t’was.

Here be your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The ‘Stachebagger and Various Jenny Hotts

For creepy oldbaggery hangin’ on to the dream, The Stachebag is all that is gross, leathery and skeezy about Vegasland.

The Jenny tiplets are bordering on “hot Long Island young mom” status, which is a legitimate form of hotness that cannot be discounted.

And Danger Blonde on the left? I see you.

Oh yes I do.

Your buns will not go unbongoed tonight.

Observe the Stachabagger’s epic run here, here and here. White belt. Frosted Faux. I just punched an emu in the balls.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Smoot and Crystal

Smoot first appeared as one of the Cactus Joes, before I realized one of the Joes was a Joe-ette.

By the time Smoot appeared in this pic, mugging Crystal with her cute tongue, his legend was born.

It was only a matter of time before his uberdouchosity would ring out in pics here, here , here and here as the Freakshow(? is it him?).

So many variations.

Tiki doucheland by day? Wrist mandana party bag by night.

Quality hotts being mugged. Consistent douche-face. Stupid $300 ts. Smoot is crying out for victory. And by victory, I mean extensive public shaming in this forum while lusting after his ladies

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Cheeto Man and Boobsie McGee

Cheeto Man has two things working against him in the Weekly.

1. Major potential gaybaggery. As mentioned many times, the Gaybag can be a douchebag, but by lacking a true threat to the hott, Gaybaggery is unthreatening, and thus forms a less potent HCwDB combo.

2. Secondary quality H.C. Sorry, Boobsie. You’re cute, and have impressive attributes, but not on the level of the ‘Stachebagger and Smoot’s hotts.

Then why include this pic in the Weekly?

Because Cheeto Man has one overpowering element that makes him a worthy finalist. Orange. Pure Cheeto Orange.

And no, this is not photoshopped. Cheeto Man first appeared in a Friday Thoughts and Links, and made one more appearance here that creeped me out so much, I pulled it from its own entry and hid it a link.

Think about how epic this clash of HCwDB finalists is. I had to leave off such worthy HCwDB couplings as The Temple Mount, The Pouter Puff, The Chinchilla, Nostradouchemas, Tung and The Bleach Baller.

That’s some serious hottness in presence of toad not to even make the Weekly. Yikes.

But these are your three. And only one coupling may triumph (fail).

Vote, as ever, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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