Tuesday, September 8, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

Dust off your parkas. Fire up your George Foreman Grill. The Labor Day weekend is over. There are ‘bags to be derided and suckle thighs to be ogled.

Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Shiny Head Sheldon

Although this coupling ran only a few days ago, during the ebb of Labor Day Weekend, something about it strikes me as Weekly deserving.

Maybe it’s SHS’s sheeny forehead and smug douche-smirk.

Maybe the unbuttoned shirt, the too much bling and awkward lime fondle.

But mostly it’s Tiny Little Sienna. Her awkward smile betrays the fear that she’s chosen poorly on her Friday night.

And that is the essence of the narrative of HCwDB, personified in their two divergent facial expressions.

Take a good look. For while this coupling is less garish and over the top, this is true HCwDB taint choad.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Punchy McGee

Punchy is your classic Frat Clown using a crypto-gay look to score with the ladies via what we can euphemistically call the “back door strategy.”

Karla and Marla are enamored with his giant pink popp, fwippy hair and ringlet of chin pubes.

Well, Karla is.

Not sure if Marla thinks he’s “adorable” or wants to smack him with a frying pan.

Lets hope it’s the latter.

For bringing back the Pink Pop of 2007, and for two sexy cute Sorority Girls, Punchy makes the Finals.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Brothabag Mason

Brothabag Mason earns his slot in the Weekly on the power of the new douchal innovation: Fro Faux.

Also known as “Fraux,” “Brohawk” and “Blackhawk Up.”

But it’s Mason’s thousand yard stare that sends him careening into true scrotitude.

Shawna’s yawning boredom and large gazangahoos render her a Bleeth who invokes the “douchadox.” Both sexy as well as annoying, by which your humble narrator would be forced to give extended considerations to.

And by considerations, I mean awkward backrub fondling using only melted M&Ms, dried frog skins and a powdered wig taken off the corpse of a 19th Century British barrister.

Sadly, a whiny Beach Troll sent me numerous emails all weekend asking for his pics to be taken down, so he’s out. Others who missed the cut include Gangsta Marilyn and Jacqueline and the Beanstalk.

So them’s your three.

Which coupling rises to the top/bottom to call itself HCwDB of the Week?

Do me a solid and vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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