Friday, October 2, 2009

Friday Thoughts and Links


Today is the first day of shooting on Season #2 of your humble narrator’s show, Is She Really Going Out With Him? That’s right, bitches. Twenty more eps of HCwDB will hit the airwaves beginning in January.

I am psyched with the job the casting team did finding the HCwDB couples out there. We have some amazingly clueless ‘bags in the pipeline, and I look forward to unleashing more choad mocking from inside the televisual beast.

Friday finds me pondering detachment. How often we simulate or recreate the authentic experience in the hopes of achieving it, only to find the moments seem alien. Estranged. Outside of ourselves. How often do we work so hard to “have fun,” only to think to ourselves, “I should be enjoying this more! Why aren’t I?” We live in a state of overstimulated perpetual emotional crisis, whipped into a socialized frenzy of dissatisfaction. Whose twitching nerve endings are fed on by private industry in the marketplace of advertising like so many hungry Mynocks chewing on power cables. I can’t help but wonder what a century of the industrial age, over a hundred years now of machine into computer into virtual recreation has done to fragment our constructions into a dozen competing states of uncanny estrangement. Our bought and sold hyperreality now rendering our experience of the real forever incomplete.

But hey. That’s what alcohol’s for. Here’s your links:

The oldest evidence of HCwDB uncovered to date. Yes, even older than Mickey Rourke.

In ‘Barely Celebrity News’: Spencer Pratt Barely Having Sex With Heidi Montag. This… is CNN.

The greatest overlooked acting performance of the 1990s remains the genius that was Jon Voight in Anaconda.

The perfect wedding gift for that truly douchey couple.

I’ve been doing my best to ignore the performance art that is Arthur Kade, but somehow creepy Vegas Eyebrowless Guy showed up on his site. It’s all coming together. Like a game of douche Jenga.

IFC finally produces something worth TiVo-ing.

Five Washington State barristas give new meaning to the term ‘cream with my coffee.’

Retarded rappers are funny. But never go full retard.

Christina, my fourth future ex-wife, who gave Kirk Cameron that righteous smackdown, makes strange videos playing with cats. I would lightly massage her middle thigh area with melted candle wax, silly putty and a raspberry spritzer until she grew bored and called her large Romanian brother over to have me deported to Anshluss.

And finally, because you’ve spent another week doing your civic duty (mocking choad and lusting hott)… you’ve earned it.

Triple Pear.

Sink your teeth into that, and celebrate the weekend in style.

# posted by douchebag1

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