Monday, October 19, 2009

HCwDB of the Week

This is an epic Weekly, kids. Do it proud.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Leatherbag

Yeee harrr!!!

Them Milf Cowgirls sure has roped ’emselves a leathery filly there, ain’t they?

Hoooooeyyy!!!

Yeah. That’s me doing a southern accent in written form. Because my entire understanding of a southern accent comes from Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.

Leatherbag moved on to a gaggle of inflata-hotts in pic #2, scoring an even more impressive HC side of the equation to counterbalance his prune smell.

But is Leatherbag choady enough to win the Weekly? Do not discount undies poke and one of the originary signs of ‘bag infection: Jesus Bling. We haven’t seen a lot of that garish suburban gangsta Jesus bling of late.

Yet here it is again. Hanging over a leathery Naugahyde.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Cheez and Charleez

The Cheez brings classic Meathead Partyboy into the equation, and Charleez is tasty mouthwatering succulence served in a petite hot toddy.

Mmmm… Charleez… confused white girl Connecticut wannabe rocker chick.

I would sip lightly, then ask for more scones.

Cheez didn’t just bust the one-off. His mugging continued in pic #2, pic #3 and pic #4, with particular douchetributes in pic #3.

The uberscrote isn’t just the dog tag bling, excessive tatts, douche-face, beefy ‘roid look and total indifference to the hott in favor of his own self worship.

Well, yes. It is all of that.

Add in Six Pound Watch and skull tatt, and it’s all bad. I disapprove.

She’s quality hotness. He’s beef pud. But is the Cheez/Charleez combo enough to win the Weekly?

It’s tough competition all around this week.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Gunter Von Crotchian and Alyssa

The dark horse in the race. Do not write Gunter off.

Gunter brings the creepiest Zombie Doucheface this side of the walking mall corpses in Scottsdale, Arizona.

And yes, that’s a six inch spike of hair. Handcuff necklace. And the piece de resistance: A, well, a piece. Gun Crotch.

I also appreciate the soft snow-powder shoulder suckle of Alyssa, who hates her waitressing job, and just wants to dance modern erotic ballet.

Alyssa, come to me. I will spank you softly with crushed fruit and chocolate macademia nuts. Because you are not a failure for dropping out of beauty school. You are a success for boobies.

If Cheez and Leatherbag split the vote, Gunter and Alyssa could easily take the prize.

Orangina went straight to the Closet of Poo as there was no way I could deal with that horrific trainwreck in the Weekly. Although Orangina will definitely be a finalist at the 2009 Douchie Awards in the Orangest Orange category. Nunzio and Sue also just missed the cut, as did Pepilepsi Pete. As did The Lincoln Log. As did Sushi Head.

Damn it was a strong week for pics.

This Weekly is epic. Weigh the evidence. Consider the pros and cons. And by pros, I mean suckle thigh. And by cons, I mean cons.

Which coupling is worthy of winning the HCwDB of the Week?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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