Louise’s “Hot Loaves with Douchebags” Tag
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Dear DB1,
This picture does not contain a hott – I am taking the photo – however I felt the need to share my tale with you. This event happened a mere 30 minutes ago, so I am still recovering from my brush with the douche.
I was at my local supermarket, happily going about my business, when I rounded the corner to the meat section to be confronted with a massive douchbag sans hott. At first I was like a deer in the headlights in shock and awe at the spectacle in front of me, but then my anti-douche instinct kicked in. I realised that I had to get a good, clear photograph of the douche with a hott.
The douche had perhaps caught my scent and walked into my aisle, looked me square in the eye and gave me a “ ‘sup?”. I faltered, gave a weak, panicked laugh and ran away quickly. I regrouped in the dairy section, then looked up to see the ‘bag heading to the bakery area. I cautiously went around the back to the deli and from a distance took a quick, surreptitious photo with my iPhone.
As I lowered my phone, the ‘bag noticed me looking at him, and decided to put on a show that will haunt me forever.
He proceeded to get an item off the lowest bread rack, not in the normal ‘bend at the knees’ way – oh no – he went the full ‘bend and snap’ action, ass straining in his tight camouflage pants, arms tensed as if to say ‘enjoy the gun show’. Alarmed and scared for my safety, I scooted quickly to the cashier and out the door, not daring to look back lest the douche catch my eye.
In summary DB1, I tried my best to capture a douche/hott moment and all I got was this lousy photo,
-Louise
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Good attempt at a ‘tag, Louise, but it concerns me that you describe your direct interaction with said choad as causing a “weak, panicked laugh.” For that means the spectacle is still having its intended effect. Even in the bread section. Good story though, and while there’s no hottness, I’m going with it. Because I like bread.
