Saturday, November 21, 2009

Canted Angle Saturday


Sometimes when we meditate and ruminate on the Miami Beach douche/hott permutations, we need new visual angles for contemplation.

Like those taken by an eight foot giant during an earthquake.

While Lizette tries to pass off her doggie poop bag to the groin of a Doggie Poop ‘Bag.

# posted by douchebag1
7:27 pm November, 21 Dicy said...

Old creepy d-bags
Macking on someone's hot mom
Makes me scared for them

7:30 pm November, 21 Dicy said...

My haiku may or may not apply but from the tiny pic on my cell's screen these people look old.. I could be wrong but either way the guys are lame and those girls are dumb for liking it.

7:35 pm November, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Axl Rose swimsuit
Poop Bag's tatt says "No Regrets"
That explains his face

Yeah, I'm feeling lazy today. Fuck it, I'm goin' back to bed.

7:38 pm November, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And what kind of look is that on Lizette's face? She must've just eaten a lemon…tree.

7:38 pm November, 21 fightoffyourdemons said...

NO REGRETS, YO YO YO!

7:46 pm November, 21 Wheezer said...

Tatt douche's hair looks like someone sat their giant ass crack on it to "mold" it.

That was probably his broheim there off to the upper right.

Roberta "Ribs" McMilfy is thinking, "He smells just like what's in this bag, and it's the first time he's had anything hanging in that area."

On a side note: is there any legitimately blonde hair left out there? Not that I really need to see it, but I'm just curious.

8:07 pm November, 21 Justin said...

I can count at least six things this tool should regret.

8:19 pm November, 21 scrotum pole said...

Memo to chick with dog poop baggie:

I like my bleeth's thin, but I really don't want to see your entire skeletal structure.

Get off the crack, and try a Big Mac.

I may even have some coupons I'll give you.

8:20 pm November, 21 Troy Tempest said...

Using a bird watching term – "The white crested douche" is a total pud.

But his aging fecal friend on the far right is a minor league bag.

Frankly, as douche as Doggie Poop is here, these women are both WAY douchier than the men put together.

They both look like aging porn skanks. Just, ick.

8:40 pm November, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Man I couldn't care less about these worthless wastes of oxygen.

I just finished Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" and feel like I took a cannonball to the stomach like a circus freak. That dude FUCKS with your head.

I just want cuddle with my dog for a bit.

8:41 pm November, 21 creature said...

these trashy white broads need to be impaled on something…. like my fleshy turnpike

8:50 pm November, 21 Anonymous said...

Both chicks are pornees..

9:05 pm November, 21 El Caganer said...

Nice. I like the middle age skanks. Of course, middle age for a skank is probably 25.

9:36 pm November, 21 scrotum pole said...

I tried reading The Road a few months back.
After seeing VD's post I checked my paperback library, and found my copy had a bookmark on page 67.
That's as far as I could get, before I found it "somewhat" depressing.
Not exactly Mary Poppins.

I think I've seen advertising for a movie with the same title. Don't know if it's based on McCarthy's book or not.

@ VD stay away from sharp objects for a few days, and you'll be alright.

9:36 pm November, 21 Captain Bringdown said...

Ex-cons and bleached assholes. It's not just for breakfast anymore.

9:47 pm November, 21 El Caganer said...

I like the bleached asshole trend.

10:41 pm November, 21 scrotum pole said...

Last time I bleached my asshole it burnt like hell.

I then applied some fabric softener and felt quite fresh for several days.

10:42 pm November, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

The minor douche on the right looks like a younger-than-he-is-now, non-demented/mutilated by plastic surgery Micky Rourke.

These guys who use steroids need to actually lift weights occasionally and not just inject and then shave their body hair.

11:00 pm November, 21 Anonymous said...

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11:01 pm November, 21 Troy Tempest said...

OK fuckers – Tiny Tim predicts Global Warming in the 1960s.

THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING
HO HO HO HO HO HO
ALL THE WORLD IS DROWNING
HO HO HO HO HO HO
THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING
THE TIDE IS RUSHING IN
ALL THE WORLD IS DROWNING
TO WASH AWAY THE SINS!!!!

Seriously. A Wire brush and clorox will not scrub this out of your retinas, or heal your ribs after you stop laughing, or console you when you realise this was recorded over 40 years ago, and we're just as fucked now as we were then, being warned by some falsetto voiced lunatic tripping his balls off on national TV while cajoling children to sing along with his hymn of apocalyse…

And on that note – it's Drinkin' Time.

11:22 pm November, 21 Wedgie said...

Both girls look eerily familiar. I'm pretty sure I've seen them throwing up a mile of cockk in some shitty gonzo porn video.

Not that I ever watch it, or anything.

11:45 pm November, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Well, now, ain't that a cute little hawk on Roundhead. He plowed it to resemble a watershed off a mesa.

Please somebody, give Ribby Lizette a HUGE SANDWICH. Marla in the middle can take care of herself.

11:52 pm November, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I'll take the double bleeth burger with a side of crabs please.

1:13 am November, 22 pv1 said...

The thing I like the most about Right Bleeth is that you could probably use her back as a xylophone.

1:24 am November, 22 Wedgie said...

Bleeth on right needs to go with Crystal below and get a cheeseburger. And take Crystal's away from her.

1:51 am November, 22 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness for the camera. Imagine being forced to capture that image? Too sad, really.

Not sure if porno Lizzie is fobbing doggie poop off on leprechaun choad or the contents of her oft-emptied stomach.

3:23 am November, 22 El Caganer said...

I pooped in a bag like that once.

3:33 am November, 22 DarkSock said...

"Lance Greyson: Poolside Proctologist."

Coming to NBC this fall.

3:38 am November, 22 DarkSock said...

@ El Cag 7:23-

"I pooped in a bag like that once"….

Which bag, he one with the tatt or the one in the black shirt?

3:53 am November, 22 DarkSock said...

I'm diggin' on this line from the totally random Zithromax spam post @ 3:00 PM:

"…there have been no evidence that it will not farm the fetus…"

"Farm The Fetus" = awesome metal band name.

4:26 am November, 22 Captain Bringdown said...

Between each of these tools they've got a full head of hair. And a sac load of canker.

5:15 am November, 22 Anonymous said...

I want my baggy back baggy back baggy back…..ribs.

Scroatehawk and his deadbeat dad hired some bleethpoon to reconcile and bond after their family court near sightings that they remember each other by.

Douche Bagelo

5:27 am November, 22 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

This Second Life stuff is really weirding me out. Oh, wait… sorry, commented in the wrong thread.

Or did I???

–VS

9:08 am November, 22 Steve L. said...

@ Vin Douchal & Scrotum Pole,

i was gonna save the book reading until after i see the movie adaption of The Road (opens Nov. 25). because it's more fun that way.

knowing Cormac McCarthy's work, i probably need to watch The Road more than once to understand all the subtleties in the film, because that was what happened when i watched No Country for Old Men. the film (and, by extension, the novel behind the film) sneaks up on you and stuns you with a captive bolt before you can respond.

but i'll probably only watch The Road once. because i'm… just not as good at killing people as Anton Chigurh.

9:14 am November, 22 Steve L. said...

speaking of which, the league of bag hunters can always use someone like Anton Chigurh. or Llewellyn Moss. if i was in Moss's shoes, i'd count myself lucky if i could get as far as he did.

isn't that right, Doggie Poop 'Bag?

9:25 am November, 22 Steve L. said...

by the by, genitals might need bleaching too, yo.

8:13 pm November, 22 Vin Douchal said...

@ Steve L.

It's ALWAYS , without fail, better to read the book before the movie.

Hollywood screenwriters go for visual effects and most of the time they show you the story. They talk down to the viewer on a lot of adaptations.

A good author like McCarthy tells you the story and let's your mind's eye fill the rest. ESPECIALLY in "The Road".

The prose is sparse and he rarely punctuates dialogue. I found myself going back over the dialogue a few times to see who was talking. I loved the challenge of keeping up with his incredible imagination.

8:22 pm November, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Hector 5:51

Indeed. Were these electronics sentient beings, they surely would have formed a support group by now, led by Sad Karaoke Party Robot.

Those two girls seem to have consumed some sort of sedative, and I'm thinking something much more sinister than Bartels and Jaymes. I'm thinking more like dog tranquilizers or something.

As far as tribaldouche there, I'd say that shit tattoo is one big regret already, and its location confirms that. He'll be in a shop about four years from now asking someone if they can "do anything" with it. The answer is always a swallowed chortle and a "no, man."

@ Sock 7:53

Indeed. I say we form now. You can play lead Glockenspiel.

@ Steve L. 11:14
What business is that of yours….Friend-o?

8:36 pm November, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

It looks like these two douches were having a chicken fight with their bleeths. Dude on the left won his bleeth broke the other girl's jaw with her rock hard implant.

8:38 pm November, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

These girls belong on Rock of Love 4, backstage waiting for Bret after he plays Every Rose Has Its Thorn at an open mic in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

12:47 am November, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Poor Eddie Van Halen. Now that Valerie has divorced him he's forced to build a porn pyramid with Chicken Little, Skankarella, and Starvin' Stacy.

I'm sure Chicken Little has "no regrets" after that mad case of hot syphilis and asshole crabs.

12:33 pm November, 23 Steve L. said...

@ Medusa 12:22 PM,

rocking is my business, and business is good.

… i wish i could say it like i mean it.

or how 'bout this:

bag hunting is my business, and business is good.

THAT i can say with conviction.

1:17 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

Tree would take years to recover from this nauseating show of two uber knobs, fondling Swedish Heaven.
Reinforcements from Stockholm would arrive on the double to cut these two choads down to size, ridding our ever greening planet of two carbon producing meat heads.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

3:58 pm November, 23 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

No regret? I'd regret that tattoo. I'd also regret that the tall blonde is a tranny.

8:57 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

No one mentioned Steve Buscemi bag on the right.

9:30 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

Okay so I just clicked on this site for the first time, they should honestly change the site to skanky/ slutty girls with douche bags.

4:35 am November, 25 Anonymous said...

Somebody buy the bitch on the right a cheeseburger, fer chrissakes! You can see every one of her ribs.

And Screech, take off those awful sunglasses. You look like an undercover cop.

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone

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