Monday, November 16, 2009

Faux or Background Bottles?

Okay kids, time to play another round of the game that’s sweeping the nation, Faux or Background Bottles?

Ah what point does Party Patrick’s multi-greased fauxhawk end, and the bottles on the background shelf begin?

# posted by douchebag1
8:08 pm November, 16 DarkSock said...

Boss, those are actually twist-on scalp goiter caps. They quell the periodic pus eruptions brought on by stress, head-butts and the highly corrosive effects of donkey jizz.

True story.

8:12 pm November, 16 Ohio FJ said...

Hot damn she's pretty

8:13 pm November, 16 massengill said...

Both.

8:14 pm November, 16 massengill said...

Hey, honey, I was just looking at some old pictures. Remember the time we showed up at the club before anybody else was there?

8:16 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

both, but Faux or not, he's still very much a Bag

and she's got a hair helmet

8:17 pm November, 16 Wedgie said...

God I hate this guy, even if he managed to coax one of his sister's friends into posing for a picture.

Note to Patrick: Please return the King's belt to Graceland.

8:17 pm November, 16 Dr. DB said...

Actually, if you pull on the string hanging from Pats chin, the top extensions will retract and vice versa. It really is a clever design and Patrick has agreed to test it out. It was designed for the typical short bag to gain extra height. He is pictured here with the designer. Notice she is squatting down somewhat as to accentuate the height added by the "bagstension" as she likes to call it.

Dr. DB

8:20 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

Even with the mom hair, I love that shoulder.

8:30 pm November, 16 Jean Claude Van Douche said...

When performing the 'Lean-to-Belt-Grab' maneuver, one must first balance ones cerebellum by simultaneously fellating oneself, licking ones taint, and leaving a poosmear on ones chin and jizzing in ones hair…for the extra weight offsetting.

After seeing Milfy Alexandra's shoulder suckle here I might just try that myself…brb…

8:33 pm November, 16 Mayor McDouche said...

I think this monkey is trying to show his Groin Shave Reveal. Poor effort there Pat!
-Robopud

8:38 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

Don't you just love Mom's weekends?

8:40 pm November, 16 RAPETIME said...

She is very nicely put together, cute, good smile, good figure, good teeth, perhaps a little overboard on the hair but that's the style in quite a bit of this fine nation.

A professional, early to mid 30s.

He is sunburned, slouchy, can't tuck in his shirt, has chin dribble and a white studded belt that says to one and all that he is developmentally disabled, or as we say here in Southern California, "fucking retarded".

She either is his mother or has a thing for retards, and either way I am now sad.

8:42 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

i think i can see her nipple through her top. itty bitty. she is pretty.

i don't really care about the bottles over his head.

and i agree with Anon.

8:43 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

i mean, i don't agree with myself, but i do agree with the other Anon.

i'm the one at 12:42.

thank you.

8:57 pm November, 16 El Queso said...

Frankly I don't care if her hair came with an NCAA-Approved Riddell chin strap, I still think she and her tiny boobs are adorable.

You go, Ms. Applecheeks!

And by 'Go', I mean get the fuck away from the dude with the hair tiara, and back to detailing my Pinto.

9:12 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

Yes. Anon is correct.

9:12 pm November, 16 jonezy said...

This guy is Vanilla Ice 2.0

9:18 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

I disagree with all the other anons in this thread, with the possible exception of 12:42 because it involves nipples.

9:19 pm November, 16 skid said...

I like those little bitty titties with the pin point pokey nipples.

9:19 pm November, 16 Douche shower and shave said...

The only thing I care about those bottles is how many can be smashed over his head to rescue Milfy Emma from this pud.

9:20 pm November, 16 Mitch said...

fuckin' puke, dude. button your shirt, you Zack-Morris-lookin' shit stain, and while you're at it wipe that errant dingleberry from your chin.

-mitch meats

9:21 pm November, 16 Wedgie said...

She looks like my third grade teacher, Ms. Shaw.

Now I have a chubby.

9:23 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

Hey Anon 1:18, what about me? I'm the other Anon.

9:28 pm November, 16 Anonymous 1:18 said...

I would feel equally comfortable being served homemade chicken soup by Milfy Alexandra, (as she nursed me back to health with a bout of the flu,) as I would doing her dogstyle on the kitchen floor.

@ Other Anon at 1:23, your point has merit.

BTW what is your point?

9:43 pm November, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

His hair ends where the bottles begin. Which, of course, is where the sharp ends of the bottle lodged into his scalp after I smashed it over his head.

That wasn't nice at all. But it felt great to say it.

9:45 pm November, 16 End the Haberdouchery said...

RAPETIME "fucking retarded", hilarious, thank you.

I heard that all the women in Pasadena Nipple Glasscutters 1143 sport the faux she-mullet hair these days.

9:46 pm November, 16 Bob said...

She's old enough that she should fucking well know better than to even pose for a picture with this poo-smelling taint-stain. But young enough and lithe enough that I want to suck from her neck down to her elbow with wanton abandon.

BTW, that's not all hair, methinks. Two bottles on either side of the ridiculous faux's point.

9:47 pm November, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jeebus, I missed some vomitworthy stuff these last few days. Just came back from a tattoo convention and it was surprisingly low on douche. And no hott-douche coupling to speak of. I was poised to pounce and I got nothing.

The casino around the corner, however, was a cesspool of douchey delights. And I haven't seen so much skanky pussy in too-small clothing since Mayor Daley ordered the Kingsbury Corridor cleaned up. Too bad they don't allow photos in there, I'd have filled three memory cards.

9:56 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

@Anon 1:28

I would have to agree. I don't understand that other Anon either.

10:15 pm November, 16 Justin said...

Chin dribble or hatchet target?

10:29 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

haha i've been waiting for this to happen. a Kodouche Moment.

10:32 pm November, 16 Too Lazy to Start a Blogger Account said...

All you other Anons are cheap imitations. I am the only real Anon.

10:35 pm November, 16 Anonymous said...

@ Anon

Roflcopterz!

10:49 pm November, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He looks like he's trying to keep his cool as the gerbil has left his ass and is working its way forward. "Maybe if I grab my mom's belt and shift it, the gerbil will go back in his hole." I always thought Bart Simpson would age better.

12:04 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Why are all these anons posing as me? I'm the real anonymous!

12:05 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

No, I am!

12:06 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Hello-oh!

12:06 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Stop it! I'll find out which basement you posers live in, and I'll comme kick your ass!

12:07 am November, 17 God of Anonymous said...

Cease your squabbling at once my children, for you are all brothers.

12:08 am November, 17 Anonymous Satan said...

Fuck you, man!

12:09 am November, 17 God of Anonymous said...

You want a piece of me, bitch? Let's go!

12:11 am November, 17 Anon A. Anonymous said...

This has gone way to far…

12:22 am November, 17 Too Lazy to Start a Blogger Account said...

Faggots.

12:26 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

I'll pay any of you Anonymous fuckers 10 thousand dollars to come fight me for the supreme title of Anonymous King to Infinity.

12:31 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Why would you want to fight me? I don't want to hurt anyone except douches.

12:32 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Ummmm, Anon 4:31pm

I think he was talking to me.

12:37 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

No I'm Sparticus – er I mean Anonymous!

12:44 am November, 17 Wheezer said...

For the answer to the mystery of "Faux or Background Bottles?" please refer yourselves to our resident poet laureate of choad…..

I miss his stream of unconsciousness ramblings.

1:42 am November, 17 Mrs. Anonymous said...

Anon 4:32

No he wasn't. He was talking to my husband.

2:12 am November, 17 pv1 said...

What's with the empty bottles? Are they air containers?

2:26 am November, 17 Whoop-di-douche said...

Is that an owl in his hair, or is this photo just a hoot with a hott?

Like, MAN, is she HOTTTTT!!!

2:30 am November, 17 Whoop-di-douche said...

The hawk ends and the bottles begin at

a) 99 bottles of beer on the wall

b) when one of those bottles should happen to fall

c) take one down and pass it around

d) who's looking at him when SHE"s standing there???

2:34 am November, 17 Whoop-di-douche said...

Whatever he's advertising on that flame orange placard held by his hairy horns has been completely obliterated by one glance at Holymarymotherofgodwhatatotallyhottchick.

2:47 am November, 17 ImageWrangler said...

She's dang cute, but I'm a sucker for shoulders.

And he's well, usually he's grabbing for something small about few inches lower, and just a sucker.

2:57 am November, 17 Whoop-di-douche said...

Party Patrick's greased fauxhawk never enters the picture because Totally Hott Hannah's shoulder could set bottles tumbling like stacked dominoes.

It's as plain as black and white.

3:15 am November, 17 Troy Tempest said...

She looks ten years older than him.

Which is no big deal to me, as I lived with a Homecoming Queen who was 10 years older than me for 3 years. She was hott.

and so is cougar Grrl here.

I bet you she:

a. SWALLOWS
b. takes it up the ass
c. has a trimmed but hairy cooter – some kind of landing strip design – a hitler moustache to guide my purple helmeted love nazi to her pink and oozy hooha.

I bet you boy genius here:

a. has a peter that, when fully erect, is the size of a north American vienna sausage.
b. thinks everything is JUST FINE.
c. secretly wants to be gay, but loves eating pussy too much to bother.

Net result: He bangs her for about 6 months. She gets bored and dumps him.

6:10 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

DB1, you are a GENIUS. So many of your photo titles make me piss myself laughing and i never let you know.

you fucking rule very hard

6:27 am November, 17 Anonne Huntress said...

WTF is up with that damned white studded belt? Is this dude E-Blo's little brother or something? It looks like the same belt.

E-Blo must be behind the camera, saying, "Dude, ur doing it wrong."

7:52 am November, 17 Steve L. said...

the hawk ends where anons begin.

and the bottles begin where anons end.

or something.

11:59 am November, 17 Anonymous said...

Bartender Pat looked away in disbalief as MILF began to mack on Douche Patrick and his party hat fauxhawk. While mixing his special Tropicana Pink drink, Pat began to wonder upon two important conundrums, was Patrick Douches bottle hair explained by the nauseating stench of LA Looks? And how was he going to convince 'Orange County Hot' to be his Tequila Shiela?

2:40 pm November, 17 DarkSock said...

Interesting fact: That wall in the background is made of fresh porch beef. Walk up and saw a chaw off.

Either that or it's Plinky's Mom's left labia. Shiny enough to be that.

4:05 pm November, 17 Wedgie said...

@Wheezer

"Poet Laureate"

!!!

11:44 pm November, 17 Anonymous said...

the bottles are actually attached to the 'hawk via Gorilla Glue to provide quick access to refreshment.

2:32 am November, 18 Anonymous said...

I must say this just made my day 🙂 By the way "Party Patrick" aka Matt aka Roots is a fuckingggg psycho. He swears he's god's gift to women who needs a good lesson on how to keep his dick in his pants (not that it works half the time anyways…& trust me I'd know)

ps. I told you baby karma is a bitch…& no I was not responsible for this (aren't you proud?)

4:42 am November, 18 Anonymous said...

I can imagine him turning his head to hers after the pic gets taken and saying, "YEEEAAAAH." and winking or some shit.

8:12 am November, 18 Chinga Dera La Douche said...

This is an exact quote from Party Patrick's cupid.com profile, "I always grab my belt buckle whenever I have my picture taken with someone who can kick my ass".

8:39 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I know this girl, went to HS with her. She is a sweet heart, and if I remember correctly she is about 26 years old. She lives near Miami so I would imagine that the occasional pose with an asshat opportunity presents itself quite often.

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