Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Haiku

Sneery Goose Runner
Almost pulls “Double Shocker,”
Needs index to hold.

Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss

— Publius Choadius Naso

Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze

— Dr. DB

Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.

— The ‘Baggernaut

Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!

— Hector, Tamer of Douches

It’s Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there’s Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.

— “Lesbian Thermos” Ernie Tubesock

El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?

— Douche Wayne

# posted by douchebag1
3:05 pm November, 20 Publius Choadius Naso said...

Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss

3:06 pm November, 20 Douche Wayne said...

El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?

3:08 pm November, 20 Douche Wayne said...

Latina Gina,
saving herself for marriage;
goose neck doesn't count.

3:13 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Speedy Gonzalez
holds up fingers to rep how
long he lasts in bed.

3:13 pm November, 20 Douche Wayne said...

Trabajo chicas,
those drinks don't pay for themselves,
neither does Carlos.

3:14 pm November, 20 Archidoucheis said...

Girls wear low cut shirts
To make their breast look bigger
Biggest boob: back left

3:14 pm November, 20 saulgoode42 said...

Half orange, half punch
And by that of course I mean
Her skin and his face

3:15 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

After wearing the
spandex in the ring, lucha-
dores are manly, right?

3:17 pm November, 20 Captain Bringdown said...

Punchable douche lips;
The real reason Mexican
Wrestlers wear face masks.

3:17 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

"Yo homes!", Chico spoke.
"I hope her taco is pink
like her bloated lips."

3:20 pm November, 20 Douche Wayne said...

Cholo-bags hate Axe,
the stink reminds them of the
filth of San Paolo.

3:20 pm November, 20 The Donger said...

What do I see there
Chica in gold has mustache
Dirty sanchez, no?

3:21 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

ha ha, douche wayne

3:21 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Don't drink the water
should include all liquids for
these senoritas.

3:22 pm November, 20 Captain Bringdown said...

Designer vodka
Like motor oil, it tastes like
shit, lubes your piston.

3:24 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

The Padres game is
canceled today instead we
bring you "El Suciedad".

3:25 pm November, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Tupperware party
New ways to use plastic bins
Later use for barf

3:25 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Three cute latinas
Hover around the vodka
Must get drunk to hang

~JUSTIN

3:25 pm November, 20 Dr. DB said...

Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze

Dr. DB

3:25 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

Andrew Zimmern Douche
Ponders his last Bizarre meal…
"Douche Hott al'Orange"

3:27 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

It's Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there's Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.

3:28 pm November, 20 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

The gates of Hades
Open wide to welcome in
My bleeding eyeballs

3:28 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

The real "shocker" is
that those three guys entered the
country legally.

3:29 pm November, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Orange shirt wuss snarls
Phil's rotten hard boiled egg fart
Still wet on his chin

3:29 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

One young, two old guys
Hotts only there for the booze
Threesome among dudes

3:30 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Late night, Miami
Paco is flashing "susto"
Spanish word for shock

~JUSTIN

3:31 pm November, 20 The 'Baggernaut said...

Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.

3:32 pm November, 20 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!

3:32 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Monkey love on left
Makes Bald Tito want to join
in. Girls could care less.

3:32 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Three cute latinas
Pretend to like three greaseballs
Run away with booze

~JUSTIN

3:33 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Brunette latina
Likes to play practical jokes
Leaves them glass of pee

~JUSTIN

3:34 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

If there were ever
a time to support border
control, it is now.

3:35 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bald Tito wants to
Join in the party going on
Green card expires soon.

3:36 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

In Mexico it
seems that blue jeans are the pant
of choice among folk.

3:36 pm November, 20 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

Orange choad with Goose
Hopes to suck on Sancho's balls
When picture is done.

3:36 pm November, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The local branch of
The United Farm Workers
Takes a break from grapes

3:37 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

Hott in brown makes an
"S" with her curves; douche makes an
asterisk with hands

3:37 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Blond hott in back says
"I'm just here for the free drinks."
Douches stay unfulfilled.

3:39 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

Mexican New Year
Smells better than this wreckage.
Eau de Burned Tires.

3:39 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

Marcus from HR
is too shy for Brown Hott, so
rubs her butt with his

3:40 pm November, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Hot three way action
No one with cockk invited
Snarler's cool wid it

3:40 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Guys, douche knows no race
Commenting on race is like
Special Olympics

3:41 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Smiley Hott has a
plan. Orange douche doesn't know
ass will "run with Goose."

3:43 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

The money Marie
Sends home each month gets spent on
This stupid bullshit.

3:43 pm November, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Dispeptic bald guy
Prepares to let go an "Urp"
Designs new t-shirt

3:45 pm November, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Is that Apple Juice
Mixed with Goose? This is called a
blackout on all counts.

3:47 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

This picture is tough…
The Douche isn't that douchey,
And the Hott is "meh."

3:49 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

Disembodied Hott
Turns my taquito into
A big burrito.

3:51 pm November, 20 Wedgie said...

Sidney Frank chuckled
Sold the Goose to Bacardi
For $2 Billion cash

Now rolls in his grave
To see this choad mishandle
His beloved juice

3:53 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

Real life "Losin' It"
Is even worse than movie.
Need more Spanishfly.

3:55 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

White dress shirt douche pees
in Brown Hott's butt, passes long cocck
between his own legs

3:56 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

Last haiku made no
sense–this picture is a tough
one to riff off of.

3:57 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

Agreed Mr. White,
Not much inspiration here.
Need Fishslap-type pic.

3:57 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

I just thought up a
codename for yellow shirt hott:
She's Mel A. Nomas

3:58 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

"Juice and Goose are great!"
says put in orange. Bald
Tito thinks he's gay.

4:01 pm November, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mel. A. Nomas wants
to say, "Mr. White makes me
twitchy in my loins!"

4:01 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

C'mon DB1,
A fuckin' "Losin' It" ref?
That was a winner!

4:03 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

One more Haiku, Boss!
For no other reason than 'cuz
My ass showed up late

Sock curses his work
And sullenly climbs into
The FailiCopter

4:04 pm November, 20 Mr. White said...

@Doc Bunsen

At first, excitment
Then Mel realized that twitching
was from syphilis

4:04 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

"Bring three more bottles!"
Not that easy to fill a
Samurai Scrote shot…

4:05 pm November, 20 Douche Wayne said...

Yankee's World Series
afterparty got crazy,
Melky throws shocker.

4:07 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Another party
By Latin-Americans:
"Fuck You Lou Dobbs" Bash!

4:08 pm November, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...


Call 911
Delectable hott in jeopardy
From destable scrotez
In basement

4:09 pm November, 20 Rumple4Skin said...

Running with the goose
Fester tries to cop a feel
Daughter's twenty-first!

4:11 pm November, 20 Rumple4Skin said...

Boatbutter, great "Losin' It" reference!

This must be the prelude to The Gangbang!!

4:11 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Douche Machine's rhythm
is gonna get you–tonight!
Dum dum.. dum dum dum!

-Bagnonymous

4:12 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Douchey Bleethy scrum.
Andrew Zimmern douche looks on,
Juan-Pablo macks on.

Tight packed, smelly group.
Seven people, two employed.
Friday every night.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

4:16 pm November, 20 Justin said...

"Fuck you Lou Dobbs" bash….hahaha

4:20 pm November, 20 boatbutter said...

The cranberry juice
Is for the yeast infections
From being peed in.

4:22 pm November, 20 Bob said...

It seems so fitting
'Bags and Hotts sucking booze from
Large baby bottles

4:25 pm November, 20 Bob said...

Surprises me yet
Despite the taint, still I yearn
Hottie Suckle Thigh

4:26 pm November, 20 El Queso said...

Watch out there douchebags
Gold shirt 'girl' really post-op
Robert Carradine

4:59 pm November, 20 Genital Electric said...

Tres damas lindas
con tres pinches babosos
iVete, ganso, ve!

Translation:
Three pretty ladies
with three fuccen jackasses
Run, goose, run!

5:02 pm November, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

Sideboob aplenty,

I got nothing this week

5:14 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

How many fingers
am I holding up? Shut the
fuck up you douchebag.

-noobbag

5:16 pm November, 20 "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock said...

Haiku has a set
pattern of five-seven-five.
Mine is not that. Ha.

5:18 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Hey, istn't that the
Jewish guy from Sex and the
City in the back?

-noobbag

5:22 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

My Excel spreadsheet
Has 2 rows and 3 columns
To track my scroteness.

-noobbag

5:24 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

I sneer at the sight
of these 3 luscious ladies
because i'm a pud.

-noobbag

5:45 pm November, 20 YodaDouche said...

The stormtrooper clones
mack on unsuspecting hotts
Emperor displeased

5:57 pm November, 20 Crucial Head said...

Hangover precludes
My chance at front page. Stop drinking?
I should. But I can't.

6:15 pm November, 20 Justin said...

@ Crucial 9:57

Regarding haiku:
Eight syllables in second line
Must have had rough night

6:34 pm November, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

There is a balm in
Gil-e-ad, but it sure ain't
what they're consuming.

6:44 pm November, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

The hoochie-coochie
factor of 'Goose, boobs and an-
drogens coheres well.

6:49 pm November, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ancient Mayan ways
find renewal in tits and
vodka ritual.

7:12 pm November, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

What is the mascot
for Golden Valley, MN do-
ing in Mexico?

7:38 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Grey Goose swilling bags
Just in from Armenia
The bleeths are intrigued

7:40 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Tell you what, mofos,
These bags aint from Ireland
Run for the border

7:41 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

This is why I chose
To stab myself in the eyes
Beats trying Haiku

7:43 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Three drunken roadies
From Toto's Fahrenheit tour
Can't pronounce "Toto"

7:45 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

"That is a white shirt,"
I said to bag on the left.
"Are there men's sizes?"

7:46 pm November, 20 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Douchebags buy Grey Goose
Because they'll believe anything
They read in Maxim

8:37 pm November, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I feel uninspired
Can't conceive a witty verse

I hate these haikus

3:24 am November, 21 Anonymous said...

Does this mean I have to change vodka brands?
The only bottle service I use is at home.. but it is primarily GG.

5:16 am November, 21 Ulyses V. Homer said...

They all can smell it
Taco Bell shart in boxers
Orange shirt dealt it.

5:18 am November, 21 I Smell Like Whisky said...

Orange nipples on goose
Extracted from Cheeto Man?
Arouses faux douche.

5:20 am November, 21 Bukkaki the Benevolent said...

Singer from band Stain'd
Gathers with the last remnants
Of his dumb fan base.

5:22 am November, 21 The Smelvin's said...

Business casual
For the dude on the left side
An awkward moment.

5:23 am November, 21 YES, THAT MUTHUFUCKA! said...

So, I strike again
While you all slumber like babes
You all bow to meeeeee!

Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!

11:22 am November, 21 Steve L. said...

party for F-list
celebs. F as in FAIL. go
jump in a lake, scrotes.

5:44 pm November, 22 TIM! said...

Chicks here for one man
Faux hawk, big watch and sun tan
nice ass – want a shot?

2:42 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

Three greacy 'ombre's'
Three travelin hotts,
Where to find a drink,
To avoid this Douchie shot.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

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