Friday, November 27, 2009

Friday Thanksgiving Limerick


There once was a boxing lightweight,
Who liked to vibrate his jailbait,
But the crowd on the wall,
Did forestall his girl maul,
So instead he’ll aerate his prostate.

Yup, that’s some high class humor on this Friday. I blame the Turkey.

# posted by douchebag1
3:33 pm November, 27 scrotum pole said...

There once was a Notta' named Hector
Who sat on the wall like a specter
With red hat and long face,
He felt out of place
But really, this is all just conjecture

3:36 pm November, 27 Douche Vader said...

When did Penelope Cruz go blonde and start hanging out with shirtless douchebags?

3:49 pm November, 27 Anonymous said...

I don't care if she's bleethy, she's hot. And I'd hit it with vigor.

'Bagamemnon

3:50 pm November, 27 scrotum pole said...

There was a young Bleeth called Eileen
Who couldn't have been seventeen
When she opened her thighs
It was no big surprise
The Douchebag became quite obscene

3:50 pm November, 27 ImageWrangler said...

There once was a landscaper named Don
Who all his friends would call "Juan"
He didn't mean to be in the photo
In his red hat and shorts of camo
The bags will later rape him in the john

3:59 pm November, 27 Scroteophobic said...

Blonde in the green dress
Seems to be twenty percent
Butt cheek, by volume.

On the bleeth's ankle
A first, a new, crossover
Fake tan cock'n'balls

4:06 pm November, 27 El Caganer said...

Red stripe sitting on the wall, get up an move next to the illegal. Although he is not very tall, he has a job after all. The money he makes , you may spend at the mall.

4:07 pm November, 27 scrotum pole said...

Two kids name of of Goldie and Pete
Played Kissy-Face on the concrete
While their friends watched in Horror
A red Ford Explorer
Flattened them into the street.

4:10 pm November, 27 Anthony LaBaglia said...

This reminds me of days in Atlanta,
And that time between turkey and Santa-
At least bug-eyed diva
Is pointing her Teva
Where the tailpipe meets my banana.

4:17 pm November, 27 doucheywallnuts said...

The tattooed, shaved Jerz douche
His hair, a pointy roof of mousse
And on his lap the bleeth sits
Oblivious to his bitch tits
That come from injecting the juice

Bleeth and Douche join as one
And enjoy stripper and guido fun
The red hatted immigrant
Looks a bit distant
Because he's gonna get none

4:20 pm November, 27 scrotum pole said...

The undocumented alien, Gus
Sure didn't need all this fuss
When this group of clowns
Started horsing around
He thought,"Where in the hell is that bus!"

4:34 pm November, 27 Anthony LaBaglia said...

When Julia signed on for the movie,
She agreed she'd show snatch and some boobie.
In exchange for a lodge,
For her entourage
And a Latin seeing-eye dog named Scooby.

4:39 pm November, 27 Mr. White said...

There once was a bevy of skank
from whom wafted a serious stank
tongues and legs intertwined
getting their douches primed
Nearby, lonely Hector's heart sank.

4:41 pm November, 27 Mr. White said...

(p.s. Is lime green bleeth the same chick from Crotchet and Stubbs?)

5:02 pm November, 27 Douchble Helix said...

I don't know what it is, but these girls have it. And me likee.

5:11 pm November, 27 scrotum pole said...

Gloria's greatest ambition
Was to find a skin physician
'Cause when it started to sprinkle
The skin on her ankle
Discolored from a rare condition

5:45 pm November, 27 creature said...

Shirtless this wand did parade
with a cup of pink gatorade
despite pregnant hott
in dainty green smock
he still looks like a turd I just made

5:47 pm November, 27 creature said...

welcome back Vader! where ya been… visiting Plinky in the big house?

6:47 pm November, 27 Anonne Huntress said...

lol, Mr. White @ 8:39!

Bravura.

7:25 pm November, 27 Scroteophobic said...

Scroteophobic had a rather sore head,
And didn't read the title of the thread.
He posted some lines
Which didn't even rhyme
It was limericks, not haiku, it said.

Or to take a leaf from Medusa's book… Apologies to all – this fucking fucktard fucktwanger can't even read today. To recast them:

There was a blonde in a green frock
Who wanted to impress a jock
Sadly for Andi
Her ass was muy grande
Which made at least one person mock

The young brunette on that low wall
Stretched out her leg to show them all
The miracle of fake fan
Applied by a bag fan
Gave her ankle a pale cock'n'balls

9:13 pm November, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

The wingman thought "This is no fair!"
"2 on 4? Why won't they share?"
But the last laugh he got
When his pals got crotch-rot
And now they can't get laid on a dare.

9:20 pm November, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

That girl looks like Penelope Cruz
(or she does if you've had enough booze)
But if the best she can do
Is that Glad™ bag of poo,
She's got no self-esteem left to lose.

9:40 pm November, 27 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

"Come with me!" said the Douche to the Hott
"See the sweet fuccin tatts that I've got!"
But Brah's wearing a thong
With attached jelly dong
and she's thinking, "Y'know, maybe not."

9:42 pm November, 27 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

An ode to Dr Seuss –

This is Pat.
Pat in hat.
Pat sat on . . .

NO Hott, NO, DON'T SIT ON THAT!!!!!

1:47 am November, 28 notadouche said...

I like the disenfranchised bag on the end of the pic. He's reconsidering his douchebag ways. He's having an existential d-bag crisis. Living at his mom's while chasing college girl poon and pretending to be in "trades" is taking its toll.

1:53 am November, 28 Anonymous said...

The cum filled young bleeth
picked the wrong time to queef
for a psyco sat at her side.
His lust for grim satisfaction
did put him to quick action
Swift hatchet non could survive.

10:49 am November, 28 Steve L. said...

banging fat midgets is a lot of fun.
just ask Hal and his quality bun.
but you know what?
on second thought,
Hal is sick. so let's grab a gun.

2:14 pm November, 28 DarkSock said...

They strut with dongs and tits clappin'
It was inevitable this had to happen;
The Kraut director yelled "Seet!
Now you all must take sheet!";
A German sex vid "Das Douche Mit SchizenKräppën"!

4:34 pm November, 28 Wheezer said...

Question regarding red/white stripe bikini top…..

What if the dark stuff is her real hair and the "blonde" is the (ahem) wig—–"extensions"?

Which of her hair colors is true?
Is it the pee, or is it the poo?
I have an idea:
oh, 'taint the urea
but we must see if there's a rug #2.

2:07 am November, 29 08armydoc said...

I call Nottadouche for the guy the right.

Attached are no sluts
And he's not showing his nuts
He has nary a tat
And a normal hat
And with no abs to be seen
And no sun-glaring sheen
I call a notta-has-been

3:40 am November, 29 End the Haberdouchery said...

I sat down on the ledge to relax,
and was surrounded by the opposite sex,
Usually I'd engage,
but their sores were enraged,
It was like a bad commercial for Valtrex.

Forgive the approximate rhyme, Happy Thanksgiving fools.

2:58 pm November, 30 Tony Ventresca said...

OMG, the bleeth in the striped bikini is so extremely butch. She looks left out of the Pawing Of The Douches game which her friends are jumping into without hesitation. Does striped bleeth's inclinations differ slightly from the statistical average? Would she rather be playing the Wet Scissor Game with one of her friends? (I can dream, can't I?)

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