Sunday, November 22, 2009

Guidos in Cabo

Thought it might be time to bring back an oldie but goodie as we head into the Turkey week. One of the rarest of rare captures ever put on hand-held shaky videocam:

That’s right. A ‘bag mating dance captured in the wild.

# posted by douchebag1
5:16 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

First! and LOL

5:17 pm November, 22 El Caganer said...

Funny as hell.

5:29 pm November, 22 Douche Bagelo said...

It's all there: the gel preened feathers, the jerky, awkward movements, the confused demeanor, the lack of proper judgment and taste, the blurred vision, etc. The mating dance of Douche Bags and Baguettes is one of the most fascinating and nauseating phenomena in the unnatural world.

5:37 pm November, 22 Choad Hollow said...

Prizes for the best "conversation" that happens around 1:00.

5:38 pm November, 22 Douche Bagelo said...

Oh… and we cannot forget that every dominant bag herd leader must have a douche-in-waiting, more commonly known as the side douche; but, who I like to refer to as Douche Refill.

6:04 pm November, 22 DarkSock said...

In a just world this would have been seen through the rifle scope of a reformed and repurposed Lee Harvey Oswald.

6:07 pm November, 22 Burlington ManSack said...

It's better viewed whilst playing that "chicken song" from old Bugs Bunny cartoons…

6:24 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

Like I need more scenes like this to breed my contempt for assholes. After a day of partying they will retreat to their mothers' basements to play Grand Theft Auto and congratulate each other on the chicks they "could have banged."

6:26 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

All this vid needs is a David Attenborough narration and it wouldn't look out of place in the BBC's unNatural History series.

6:35 pm November, 22 scrotum pole said...

I find it appropriate when at 1:40 the guy carrying the metaphorical garbage "bag" walks by the dancing garbage "bag".

6:55 pm November, 22 Wedgie said...

^And mocks him; watch carefully.

6:57 pm November, 22 Wedgie said...

You know you are in trouble when a third world garbage collector mocks you.

Even for a Jersey Guid, that has to be a low point.

Then again, there is Newark.

6:58 pm November, 22 Troy Tempest said...

the girl dancing is clearly making fun of these idiots. Listen to what she yells at them – it even breaks up the camera people. she's toying with the guidos.

A wonderful look at a smart girl making fun of these morons. I love it when she starts doing push ups. BWAHAHAA!!!

sigh. a timeless work.

7:05 pm November, 22 Scroteophobic said...

You know I had to watch that again (which hurt) because all I could think after the first run through was "where did the paper cup the garbage collector pick up come from – specifically was it there before the guy did the 'stool squeeze' move at about 0:45?"

Thankfully the young lady dropped it. I have no urge to see two guidos, one cup…

7:18 pm November, 22 scrotum pole said...

Narrator:

Notice how the female repels the advances of the dancing douche as he whirls and sways in an effort to woo her.

The female recognises him to be a sub-standard member of the species, and as such, not worthy as a potential mating partner.

Towards the end of this clip, notice, as the frustrated douche resorts to homosexual behaviour as he re-directs his affections toward another male of his species.

8:03 pm November, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Isn't the purpose of douching it up to ATTRACT the female? Amazing how this sort of behavior visibly repulses her.

This is, of course, because she is a brunette, and more predisposed to recoil from such human smeg.

8:07 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

Is this Douchetoberfest, and is that the Chicken Dance he's doing?

8:17 pm November, 22 Vin Douchal said...

Place this in their high school time capsule so future generations can marvel at the extinct Dodo Douche.

8:57 pm November, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

I don't get what's so funny. You mean you guys don't dance like that in public places wearing only rolled up jeans?

9:39 pm November, 22 drakedesignstl said...

Now I know why tigers eat their young.

10:26 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

LOL – I second the riflescope comment

10:40 pm November, 22 Troy Tempest said...

Around 1.19 the girl says "You boys are goin' DOWN!" and gave them the thumbs down. Dancing guido lunkhead got mad and yells at her. She then replies with something like "You guys were goin' in the porno last night – and you're dicks so small… (covered by laughter of the cameraman) and at the end the female camera voice yells "You're fly is undone!"

freakin' brilliant.

11:43 pm November, 22 EdHardy Boy said...

Those are the "Dior Guys"….I'm not shitting you, these guys were seen by Red Tony when he was a scrawny chump, and after seeing them in Cabo Red Tony became Red Tony….because of these guys!

11:50 pm November, 22 El Caganer said...

Matt Stafford had 423 yds passing and 5 touchdowns.

12:05 am November, 23 Sir David Douchenborough said...

And here we see in the southern tip in the Baja California Peninsula, a strange male of the Guido species attempts to perform a mating dance to attract the members of the opposite sex. While gyrating in a random fashion, he gets the attention of roving female. But alas, on closer inspection, she is unimpressed and rejects the Guido's stochastic gestures, leaving him to continue his abortive attempt at mate attraction.

2:11 am November, 23 pv1 said...

How drunk do you have to be before acting like an ass in public?

2:14 am November, 23 pv1 said...

So this what a real 'huntress looks like…

3:10 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford shat a 2 foot turd and wiped with 5 squares.

3:13 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford uses a steel wheeled roller skate as a pocket pussy.

3:14 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford has a cockk shaped like a light bulb (40 watt).

3:14 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford uses Eggos as tampons.

3:16 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford has a coffee table made of North Korean femurs

3:17 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford drives a 1998 Ford Shaft

3:19 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

In 1982 Matt Stafford sodomized his grandmother's hookah while she slept off the scotch under her coffee table.

3:20 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford uses babies as coffee filters. Badd Matt.

3:23 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford wears a tube sock over his head during church

3:25 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford digs teaspoon holes in his back yard and speedfucks them into mudholes.

3:35 am November, 23 Spiny Norman said...

At first I thought she had the styro in her winkie; turns out it was in her hand.

4:03 am November, 23 pv1 said...

Matt Stafford wipes his butt with poison ivy.

4:07 am November, 23 pv1 said...

Matt Stafford has a time machine that only goes forward at regular speed…

4:23 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford brushes his teeth with live squirrels

4:26 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford was born with a larynx in his urethra and it mutters when he pees, squawks when he ejaculates and coughs when he masturbates.

Medical Fact.

4:27 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford shits during bike rides.

4:28 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford keeps a Ballpark beef hot dog weiner under his left armpit during air flights.

4:30 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford has an iPhone 5G made out of cocaine and girl blood.

4:31 am November, 23 DarkSock said...

Matt Stafford has 6 barking assholes on the back of his left leg.

4:54 am November, 23 Bob said...

Amazing, when his "dancing" fails to entice the lady, he doesn't change his behavior one iota. Not unlike the peacock in that regard. He has one string, and he's going to play the FUCK out of it, because that's all he can do.

Wait, that really applies to douchebags' behavior in general, don't it? Not just when "dancing".

12:30 pm November, 23 Steve L. said...

i think the saddest truth we learn from this video is that bleeths are sometimes more competent than rabbis at calling a spade a spade. and bleeths aren't good at that at all to start with.

12:44 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

It kinda works: http://bennyhillifier.com/?id=t1sh7KfXw34

1:25 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford drives roofing nails into his forehead when humiliated.

1:25 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford inhales asbestos dust and exhales French's Mustard.

1:26 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford decorates his balls with Christmas lights during Kwanza.

1:27 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford squirts menthol cigarettes out his nostrils on days with unusually high humidity.

1:27 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford has stainless steel meathooks growing from his ankles.

1:28 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt stafford keeps a small pack of grizzly bears tied up to his mother's car port.

1:31 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford's Asshole.

1:35 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stasfford gargles with anti-freeze and spits it into his frosted flakes.

1:36 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford has external kidneys.

1:36 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford wears knee pads when showering, for no particular reason.

1:38 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

Matt Stafford has a tatoo of Lyndon Johnson riding a mini-bike on the sole of his left foot.

1:41 pm November, 23 scrotum pole said...

^ All this shit is true, although I can't verify the North Korean Femur cofee table.

4:02 pm November, 23 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

From the end, "Your fly is undone!"

I burst out laughing in the middle of a conference.

6:31 pm November, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

Retch-a-sketch. For he is the locus of horror that all other douchebags emulate. I am certain that if we destroy him and deprogram the hott, a whole curse will be lifted from our world.

8:13 pm November, 23 Horace Dangleballs said...

The only way that clip could have been funnier would have been if the Federales had come into the shot and beaten them both to death like baby seals.

I can dream, damnit!

2:25 am November, 24 g0dluvsugly said...

you know, besides the fact that he's preening, has no rhythm, and is generally generic aesthetically…he seems like a pretty cool dude to be taking that bleeth in stride. she's harassing him to the point where, if i were the recipient of such criticisms i would probably snap on the ho. but he seems to be handling the circumstance with a level of maturity that isnt normally displayed by the douche, and is surprisingly cordial about the whole thing. i'm gonna go with notadouche.

3:09 am November, 24 IT ME, ALEX MIJARES said...

YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY ASS

5:46 am November, 24 Whoop-di-douche said...

One would hope that in those jeans he had enough ballroom to do such dancing.

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