Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!


From the cast of Gossip Girl II: Still Living With Our Parents in Our Thirties.

# posted by douchebag1
6:13 pm November, 26 Anonymous said...

Someone please put these douches out of their misery. By their, I mean OURS.

6:21 pm November, 26 bigphatnotadouche said...

Happy Thankgiving and a safe holiday to all those who detest douchebags.

6:29 pm November, 26 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

He's Fist-Pumping an invisible midget.

ASvB

6:39 pm November, 26 DarkSock said...

As his friends cheered him on, Chet jerked the Invisible Man on to a ball-slapping orgasm.

7:00 pm November, 26 Justin said...

^ Holy shit. Sheer genius.

Happy turkey day 'baghunters!

7:09 pm November, 26 Troy Tempest said...

Chet is fist pumping the air, because he is about to soil his shorts with a violent hot jet stream of poo that he will let leak down his legs into his socks.

With these foamy brown tendrils of poo striping his legs he then start doing the douche dance flailing his fists in the air barking out incoherent gibberish and gutteral spasms of WHOOOAH!!! and "FUCKIN A!" When he finally gets tired he will suck down a fifth of grey goose while making jokes about Haterz…

7:16 pm November, 26 Anonymous said...

@ DarkSock: AaaaaHAAAAAAAAA!

Happy Turkey Day all!

7:24 pm November, 26 Mr. White said...

I can't top Darksock, but:

Chet winds up for another one of his patented clit punches. And White Pants enjoys them.

7:26 pm November, 26 Reader Mike said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all youz guys!

RM

7:28 pm November, 26 scrotum pole said...

Whacked-out Willie White Hat shoots his invisible pistol at the Invisible Man's invisible friend, shouting, "Stand back mothafucka, can't you see that I'm next?"

7:38 pm November, 26 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Happy Thanksgiving baghunters.

Make sure to do up your Turkey Day real grande!

7:58 pm November, 26 Anonymous said...

Let's all bow down and worship DuckSack's hairy VD ridden vagina. She reigns supreme. No one else should comment here ever.

You all are losers next to her.

All heil DorkSack!!

Happy Thanksgiving fuckwads!

8:35 pm November, 26 Wheezer said...

I see Doc choked on the turkey's bone again at 11:58 a.m.

Or was it Gramps/Uncle Elmer givin' ya a stuffin'?

8:35 pm November, 26 creature said...

the alluring contyours of hiphuggers belly erases the blight of squatting Garganturturd in the foreground.

Happy Thanksgiving Boss… I'm grateful for all the guffaws your brilliant site provides

Amen!

now devour rotting poultry carcass

8:38 pm November, 26 creature said...

uh… contours…

wash down with copious amounts of brown fire water… Scrotum Pole

8:39 pm November, 26 creature said...

note: Samurai Scrotes pinked ribbed condom in background

9:11 pm November, 26 Anonymous said...

these girls aren´t better than these douches

9:57 pm November, 26 Fred Durst-bag said...

Fitting for Thanksgiving. The pink Douche-ometer has popped, signalling the douchery is done cooking. Who brought the Vietnamese street-walkers?

10:05 pm November, 26 Doc said...

My drunken uncles all had too much Wild Turkey, tarred and feathered me, and then they took turns on me on top of the kids table.

I can't wait for Christmas!

11:00 pm November, 26 Canadouche said...

Glad to see you are all having a great Thanksgiving and the mockery does not stop.

I think the chin pube is trying to get the turducken loose and give whitepants the blumpkin he is waiting for.

11:47 pm November, 26 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Much to give thanks for this year, including all the wits who regularly weigh in here with quality douche mock. Happy Thanksgiving all!

1:11 am November, 27 pv1 said...

1,2,3 pop bottles!

1:46 am November, 27 doucheywallnuts said...

This goes to show you that Jerz doucheness isn't a place, it's a state of mind and a way of life that can be transplanted to any location. Put this 8-pack of poo on the space station, Vegas, Cabo or the French Riviera and they are still Jerzy Fresh.
Ya hear me?

3:11 am November, 27 DarkSock said...

Another lonely holiday, Doc?

Cheer yourself up by playing a game of Turkey; you stick your head in an oven and turn it on. Usually it requires a gas oven but in your case an electric oven would be even better.

Ah Hell Doc admit it. You miss Phah.

3:16 am November, 27 El Caganer said...

Ed Hardy Turkey for all and for all a 'goose night.

3:25 am November, 27 DøömFïsst said...

@ Anon 11:58

I will destroy you. With DØØM.

3:25 am November, 27 DøömFïsst said...

@ Anon 11:58

I will destroy you. With DØØM.

3:28 am November, 27 DøömFïsst said...

I døüble posted on purpose. One for each Ø in DØØM. Like my Fïssts Of Pöwer. Or Nipples Of Wœ.

TAK!

4:38 am November, 27 jason said...

douchery is like bizzaro world. i went out on the weekend and had a chat to some ladies who were nice. i tried to distance myself and set them up with a friend. they didnt get the hint, so i acted like a douche and was pretty mean by the end of it all. . . . to my surprise it only made them try harder to hook up with me. this phenomenon goes against everything i stand for, but there is certainly something to it. I had to shower for a long time to scrub the douche off myself.

p.s. i cant describe the things i want to do to those girls. . . .

5:03 am November, 27 pv1 said...

@Jason 8:38

I can. I would drop every single one of them at their local high school so they can finish it. Call me old fashioned but I like my women with an above average IQ.

5:04 am November, 27 pv1 said...

The things I'd do to these chicks would make Phah's e-stalker blush.

5:07 am November, 27 pv1 said...

White Cap Douche says:

"Yo bra, you see that skanky chick over there? He banged me all night long.

5:08 am November, 27 pv1 said...

White Cap Douche says:

"Yo bra, after my bra is done jerking off the air you're gon' be next…

5:10 am November, 27 pv1 said...

White Cap Douche says:

"Bra! It's Peaces…"

Ok that was lame.

Oh, who am I kidding. They were all lame.

5:10 am November, 27 Anonymous said...

Jean Skirt is the only smokin' hott in the picture. The others are merely just-good-enough hotts.

– Oucheday Agbay

5:11 am November, 27 pv1 said...

And I misspelled Peaches. Spell Nazi, back off.

5:25 am November, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

MuscleManDog does the "squat and gobble" move for Thanksgiving celebration, while PointerDogDooDoo explains how he bastes the breast meat; and the rest of the pack leans right into the action.

5:44 am November, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jeez, if I had to spend my afternoon up to my elbow in a body cavity, I wouldn't pick the cold, unfeeling corpse of a wet, featherless turkey. It can't even whimper around a ball gag. No fun, I tell ya, no fun at all.
This pic smells like turkey poo. Thanks for the laughs, DB1, and thanks to all ye hunters and huntresses for sharing your nastiness. I raise my glass to you on this day of thanks. And by my glass I mean the gravy boat, cuz I'm crazy like that.

6:38 am November, 27 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Nothing says "classy" pool party like a poo colored pleather couch.

I'm a quarter of the way into the JD bottle and thankfully I'm noticing the rioting nieces and nephews less and less. Yours truly cooked the bird and it was, if I may say so delicious. Nicely browned, just like White Pant's belly. Mmmmmmm. Belly.

Happy Thanksgiving all, especially DB1. Thanks much for the daily chuckles and for rants that would make a 50-year-old Cambodian coconut whore blush. You're all awesome.

7:06 am November, 27 Captain Bringdown said...

I feel Chet's pain. I ate so much pie today that I too will be shitting soda cans come morning. Hell, I may pass an entire freight train.

7:18 am November, 27 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Jason, you reek of guilt, and there's a reason, being a weekend douche-warrior is a slippery slope to full-on scrotehood. And you know that. You must seriously think about your actions pal, you sound like a crackhead justifying just "one more hit." You've been warned my friend.

And being stuffed full of turkey, potatoes, pie, and ale, I will now pass happily into a semi-coma. See you all Wednesday when I awake.

Thanks be to boobies fellow baghunters and baghuntresses.

7:19 am November, 27 Anonymous said...

As couch probed white-hat-wearing rim-jobs anal cavity, black vest wearing scrotestain demonstrated his true vocation, male fluffer.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

8:07 am November, 27 Steve L. said...

just around Christmas time, black schmock Carl and rainbow bra Anna will appear on some TV show to talk about how they can't afford a room. then, Carl's mom will appear on the same show to say that her son should've told her about it, because she'll be happy to beef up his allowance. finally, the TV show host will conclude that Carl has a conscience because he chose to hide his financial difficulties from his superbly caring mother.

the day that Carl and his mom appeared on TV will forever be known as the Holocaust of TV screens around the world. which means that Carl and his mom are fucking Nazis.

9:02 am November, 27 Anonymous said...

@Doomfist:

You are trying too hard. I am a simple troll. With simple needs.

Brains.

Your vicarious boners don't interest me. Phah once did. VonGoloo will soon.

When Doucial and bcs return, they will feel the wrath.

2:19 pm November, 27 Bob said...

Secretly, black haired white bikini top hott remembers a time when she wasn't on her way to Bleethdom. She felt relatively normal, where people didn't hold their noses and gag in disgust whenever she and her Invisible Man masturbating fella walked by.

Come to think of it, when she's alone, people don't hold their noses…

Oh well, she thinks, time to suck in the gut and pose for a picture! I'm pretty, and everyone is jealous of it…

2:53 pm November, 27 DøömFïsst said...

1:02 AM…..CHEW YOUR WORDS WITH LOVE….for they shall be your LAST.

I come now, like an obedient toddler. Of Death. For Yøü.

2:55 pm November, 27 DarkSock said...

Lou Vinnelli, inventor of the Butt Plug Trot Line, does his trademark victory squat as his Plug Models behind him demonstrate the Mark VII Linear Starfish Pacifier Array on a 40 pound test.

8:15 pm November, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Black Schmock gives us a demonstration of his patented technique as a professional marine animal masturbator. His favorite are whale cockks because he can use his entire body on them. Chicken Legs McWhitehat is his assistant. I think he puts down "Whale Bukake Target" on his tax forms under profession.

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