Thursday, November 19, 2009

HCwDB After Dark


Come on in!!

It’s late nite HCwDB.

We’ve got chips and dips.

‘Bags and whips.

Zebra hotts and creepy drips.

And a basket of tasty organic gourds.

# posted by douchebag1
2:41 am November, 19 THAT MUTHAFUCKA!!! said...

FIRST!!!

2:45 am November, 19 Wheezer said...

Ok, there's just no goddamned way! She's curvy as all hell and looks to be pretty cute…..and she chose to be with THAT?????

That's the epitome of "Daddy issues."

2:55 am November, 19 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

She looks heavenly, with just a hint of white cleavite peaking out from her olive skin. I would gladly spend several fortnight sleeping in the carcass of the zebra that was slain to make that bathing suit just for the chance to spill her morning coffee as she demanded it for free as I made her late for work.

He on the other hand. Well, what is there really to say? Nothing can make a louder statement than a face tatt, as we have already seen from the notorious Nozzle. He is douche incarnate, and obviously spends his days chained in a damp closet only to be released periodically for a round or three of violent sodomy as Smoot's gimp.

2:55 am November, 19 joeEdo said...

WHAT?….
Just…..
why?…

WHY!

2:57 am November, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

I love gourds. I had butternut squash for dinner. I served it alongside this choad's liver, with a nice Chianti. Slllurpurpurp!!!

If you're already tattooing your face by the age of 24, you've got a long and rocky middle-age road ahead of you.

3:01 am November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Is that?… no. Could it be?…

…tribal tatt chin pubes?

I think that's also the Hindenburg on his abdomen. How appropriate. This guy and a burning zepplin have a lot in common.

3:02 am November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Both look like penises.

3:02 am November, 19 Wheezer said...

We may just have our wild-card 12th (ahem) "man" for the Yearly.

If not, he needs to be publicly beaten. I really don't care about the specifics of said forum. He is simply a stain on the fabric of an already fucked-up culture.

3:05 am November, 19 D.B. Sweeney said...

isn't that Travis Barker?

no exemption, because he is indeed uberdouche, but he is actually a talented drummer.

she is 100 percent suckle material. what a perfect stomach.

nom nom nom.

3:09 am November, 19 All Bagged Out said...

My God DB1 ! …we all just had dinner ! Couldn't this have waited until morning ?!? I'll be wiping up my once delicious calamari stew for the rest of the night . Thanks a lot.
What a waste of good fish ,and when I say fish , I mean – what the f$%# is this scrotebag's problem ?!? Dude , you tattooed your FACE ! What a cockk .

3:11 am November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I wish this weenis was a drum kit, cuz I'd love to beat him with sticks until his skin breaks.

I wish zebra top hott was a kick drum, cuz I'd gladly pound that beater with my double pedal.

Wait, I don't know what that means…

3:21 am November, 19 IdahoHottPotato said...

I like Zebra hott. She's got a sexy-cute Bettie Page thing goin' on there. Lions all over the African savannas just let out a mighty, synchronized ROAR of longing. And by lions, I mean red-blooded men and bi-curious gals.

And dude… Somewhere, in a nice, suburban middle-class home, your mother is weeping into her red wine.

3:29 am November, 19 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

If this is, in fact, Travis Barker it would have been good for him to die in that plane crash. Jeeeeeesh!

Why the fuck is she smiling? Can't she tell what she's standing next to? Wait, I get it, those glasses… she's blind!

Though, how she can't pick up the smell…

3:48 am November, 19 DarkSock said...

George sat exhausted after his turn as target at the amine bukakke festial.

3:49 am November, 19 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

That's a really nice hat tilt this bag has going…not to mention the really stylish tatts! But I think Dark Sock is correct…bukakke target indeed!

3:50 am November, 19 DarkSock said...

George waited patiently for his towel after climbing out of Jim Davis's asshole.

3:51 am November, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Tragic Barker

4:04 am November, 19 Patrick said...

This guy. He has a head Tat. A FUCKING HEAD TAT. So much wrong with this picture. Christ almighty this guy is our new monthly.

4:10 am November, 19 Lyndon LaDouche said...

She looks Jennifer Love Hewitt with smaller boobs.

He looks like a piece of rotting shit.

4:11 am November, 19 DarkSock said...

That's not Travis Barker, unless his plane crashed into a ComiCon.

4:16 am November, 19 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

He looks like Travis Barker after a four year meth binge…

Wait…

4:21 am November, 19 Anonymous said...

Travis Barker has the word Cadillac tatted across his skinny little shitbag.

This douche is obviously really an achiever. Nothing says I've got my eye on the prize like head ink.

The honey is just so very bangable, her curves, her skin tone and her smile have my head spinning. I would throw that little weed off the pier just to smell her navel.

French for Shower.

4:27 am November, 19 Doo Schnozzle said...

Double hat tilt?! 90° to the left and 45° up and down. That's like quad-douche. It's a geometric thing. I'd give you the formula, but the microwave just rang.

4:30 am November, 19 Torque MuleBrow said...

Nothing is cooler than white cotton socks pulled up Larry-David-high.

So money.

4:38 am November, 19 ImageWrangler said...

This pudwhack of epic scrotal proportions has GOT to be some trustfund wank with oodles of money, there's no other way he's mackin' that or any hott, hotts can look past a lot of shit for money. Given his current pathetically poorly tatted white pasty ass (which covers his entire body, the ass part more that tats) there's no way he'd ever get employ, hence, he's got some money from daddy and mummy or maybe he chopped them up and got their life insurance. Either way, that's the only reason why she, or any female or, hell, male, would get within 10 feet of this douchenozzle.

Bud Light, the official beer of Douchebags and their Bleethes everywhere.

4:40 am November, 19 El Queso said...

I'd earlier said: 'I just wanted it stated for the record that The Colgate Wisp, and their immoral commercials encourage sea-hags to suck off multiple guys in the same stinky dance club far too much.

And not in the good way.'


But had a second thought:

In addition to The Wisp, I'd like to ask: Is there a small, portable, minty, Wisp-like, Colgate-Palmolive product that can clean out both a bleeth's vaginal vault between anonymous bathroom conjoinments, and also the teeth that surround the vaginal opening?
(and don't say: douche)

And I'm not taking @Medusa Oblongata's answer on this completely seriously, because her old hcwdb handle used to be "Vagina Dentata",

Back from when she used to be a pimp's enforcer on the south side, in the early 90's, cockpunching football fields of adorable gay prostitutes.

PS@Medusa: Yes, yes, my cock still hurts to this day.
lolicopterz!

PPS: Susan and the kids say hi! And Binky just drew her first Dinosaur. RAAAWWRRR!

4:44 am November, 19 ImageWrangler said...

Oh FUCK IT!

Just send this douchebag straight to the yearly douchies voting. Let him pass go and college his 200 ass kickings. He's a lock for the monthly, probably yearly if the vote were held today.

He's got it all, by which is to say, all poo. FUCK!

Dead serious. He's got a hott, and he'd probably do a GSR if asked.

He could win, by which we all mean lose.

5:01 am November, 19 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

there are children on that beach, and little old ladies, and family dogs. there is no excuse for a hott of any caliber to encourage the defecating influence of this choadster. and by choadster i mean zebra boobies.

5:04 am November, 19 El Caganer said...

Zebra boobies!!!

5:06 am November, 19 El Caganer said...

Why does he exist?

5:13 am November, 19 pv1 said...

I smell a takedown request.

5:19 am November, 19 pv1 said...

What a better way to say FUCK YOU to the world than having a Bud Light on your hands?

5:22 am November, 19 El Caganer said...

I like keystone light, but bud works for me.

5:38 am November, 19 Anonymous said...

Hey! Rihanna found a new boyfriend! You go, girl!!

5:43 am November, 19 Paper or Plastic said...

His tattoos are like a well-crafted resume, perfectly customized to address the specific duties of the open position and submitted to the potential employer with a firm handshake, steady eye contact, and an witty complement.

Only the exact opposite.

7:04 am November, 19 Anonymous said...

While hanging basket hung high above the human filth of 'beach douche'…safe in the knowledge that such cominglings of choad behaviour could never reach his lofty heights…a sickning wiff of 'tatt tool' withered his perfect pettals. Only fertilizer sprinkeled with love and care by 'zebra bikini hott' could save him from the knee sock wearing, welfare collecting uber douche. Pink duffel bag hankered for her shelf space at K-Mart.

7:34 am November, 19 Anonne Huntress said...

Wow. Utterly choadscrotealicious. Isn't she afraid that some kind of disease would leap off onto her chest? He is just NASTY.

9:17 am November, 19 Steve L. said...

we have a whip? where?

because i can really use one. preferably a chain whip.

10:10 am November, 19 Anonymous said...

Straight outta ScroteTown, an ugly mothafucka named DoucheFace! – A lyric from the band DWA.

10:46 am November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I could spend days swimming around in her navel, naked and happy.

Motherfucka needs to cut the extra 16" off his belt and tattoo himself some goddamn 'pit hair. How'd your mom agree to let you tatt your eyebrows in, yo? Is she Korean or somthing?

Here's some good advice: Take the stupid hat off, put down the beer, hitch up your Dickies, and come over here so I can bitch slap the taste out of your mouth.

For fuck's sake dude!

12:18 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

He's gorgeous!

1:52 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Travis Barker Douche

1:55 pm November, 19 Blink 18tude said...

Travis Barker Douche

2:05 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Did you see this photo in tribute to your site? So funny. And hot.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/womanchild/4104206326/

Marcus

2:28 pm November, 19 Cheesesock said...

Travis Barker likes to troll the beach for hotts. When they inevitably seem reluctant, he uses his new go-to line: "Come on, baby, I almost died in a plane crash!"

2:38 pm November, 19 Publius Choadius Naso said...

So, it appears that medical waste is still washing up on the shores of America's beaches.

Didn't the EPA take care of this shit already?

Her head is tilted just like the one tattooed on homeboy: life imitating art in a very sad, sad way.

2:51 pm November, 19 YodaDouche said...

Megan Fox's tattoos make this guy's ink look intelligent and well thought-out.

Yes, a Megan Fox slam that was. Would only do her froggy style, from behind.

2:52 pm November, 19 Troy Tempest said...

Oh. Dear. Lord.

If there is a god, he should smite this fecal bolus with a lightning blast of divine wrath. This guy is simply over the top. And the hott is pretty smokin'.

They need names.

I think her name is Kaitlyn. His name?

Scribbles.

His tatts are horrendous. It's like he let half a dozen different mediocre skin artists doodle on his body. And his face? Jeepers. This idiot is going to end up in prison, and it will be for his own good, because he stands a better chance of living a fulfilled life as Bubba the Butt Bandit's spooge receptical than anything he can achieve in the real world. Unless, as noted above, he's a trustafarian, in which case he'll just end up opening a bar in Seaside Heights NJ or Santa Monica CA.

And Kaitlyn? I would tie myself up with barbed wire and tumble down the stairs just to have the privilege of getting punched by the sanitation engineer who collects her trash.

And Scribbles here? If he was on fire I wouldn't even pee on him.

3:04 pm November, 19 YodaDouche said...

Troy, I did pee on him, but not because he was on fire.

Oh, and 50! Bitches!

3:13 pm November, 19 saulgoode42 said...

Stink One-Eighty Tool

3:22 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Blink One-Eighty Douche

3:23 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Nothing says "What the f*ck are you looking at? You want trouble? I'm f*cking trouble with a capital "T"" like a back pack.

Yup. Let me guess what ya got in there. Some juiceboxes, a chapstick, the Players Guide to the Wii version of "Sims; Bored Walk Douchebags", McDonalds Monopoly game tags, and a cumpled picture from when your mom and dad took you and your two sisters down to Virginia Beach for the summer.

Oh, and your shirt.

Clearly the only person you hate worse than your dad is yourself, and that's a shame, because self loathing is only going to go so far with Zebra Hott. One day the Gator is going to sneak up, lock his jaws on her tight, tight flank, and do a deathroll all over her ass. And by deathroll I mean he is going to fill her watering hole with his rainy season.

And then it will be just you and your Wii nunchuck.

And your chapstick.

3:41 pm November, 19 Merle Baggard said...

Glad to see the bud lite

4:00 pm November, 19 Captain Bringdown said...

I think I may have insulted the masculinity of this guy's Magic User at DragonCon five years ago. So this is all my fault.

4:41 pm November, 19 Mr. Biggs said...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a late entry for HCwDB of the year.

Seriously, unless she's his cousin and this is a mental health asylum, I just want to cross-punch her and ask "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?!"

There is just no way this match can exist and there be a just and loving God simultaneously.

4:42 pm November, 19 Teddy Tendergass said...

Ahahahaha. It's the guy from Blink 182!!

5:09 pm November, 19 Filthy McBaggin' said...

Don't be fooled. From the looks of this freak, that's no ocean in the background. It has to be the Salton Sea.

5:23 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

That's not Travis Barker. Still poo, though. Of every celebrity out there to try and emulate, he picks Travis? Oy.

6:54 pm November, 19 Maxim Kovalenko said...

This one is yearly caliber.

Now, I'm gonna go home and take a melon-baller to my eyes.:(

11:48 pm November, 19 Horace Dangleballs said...

Augie Busch has put out a contract on this guy's "life" for contaminating the Bud Light image for all humanity.

I'm willing to collect.

8:12 am November, 20 Marmadouche said...

This is one bad dog, and he's even wearing white socks, which are only worth yanking off and chewing.

I'd chew him up and spit him out, if I couldl stomach his flesh.

She's a ragin' hot bitch.

10:59 pm November, 21 TheRiot said...

How many pictures of this Douche-hamith do you have?

11:35 pm November, 22 Anonymous said...

fuck royalties and trust funds!

4:20 pm November, 23 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Twink 182

9:34 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

That's Travis Barker from Blink 182. She's after the money.

Leave a Reply

What is 12 + 15 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)