Thursday, November 19, 2009
Name that Scrote
Last night’s HCwDB After Dark pic, in which this tatted up, hat tilted, pants dropping grease-scrote was found rubbing up on a fiery zebra Latina we’ll call Jezebel, was not given an official tag.
Since the naming pool is plentiful, I figured I’d open up the ‘tag for Monday’s Weekly. The leading contender right now is Troy Tempest with “Scribbles.”
Can you do better?
Tag that ‘Bag in the comments thread.
The Homeless Man's Travis Barker.
Ronald.
Stink 180-Poo
Hep-C Scrote
BahHaHaHa! This douche has made a whole "career" out of hoping people will mistake him for that other douche from Blink 182.
The Illustrated Bag
"How do you explain this to your grandkids?" 'bag
Mark the ink stained hoodlum.
Professor Feltcher
Worst heart burn ever
Jim Bobs BOGO Tattoo Parlor
Queequegbag
Unemployable Bag
Drew the color blind minstral
Rectal Pus
Pantone Puke
Canvas Bag, in honor of being a drawing surface.
Po1son Hoodlum
"Poodlum"? At least that's what I think it says on his stomach. And if a douche goes through the trouble of getting his nickname tattooed on his stomach, we must call him by it.
Scribbles is best.
Does his tattoo say Hoodham?
Lurker C
Pale Poison Poo
Above the "Hoodlum" tatt, his nickname appears to be "Kaos Kidd". I'm sorry, but you don't get to nickname yourself, K.K. First rule of the street, nicknames must be earned.
I can't think of anything clever. Words like "asshat" and "assclown" pop into my waterlogged brain, but they don't seem appropriate. He is trying so very hard to be a "bad boy".
A while back, I saw a documentary on body piercings, and it showed a guy taking a bullet for the scar. Since he has everything else, I'd like to give him a couple of those, center mass. I won't even charge him for the bullets.
Blink one eighty douche
Graffiti Douche?
Doodler
Future in food service industry crap gobbler
He has "Hoodlum" tattoed on his belly. Really white boy, really.
TattchinDribble
BroInkus
Gat Tatt Matt
I Loves me the needle
Nostratattamus
Poo Yardie
Ink Spill
—Sully O'Baggins
Nipples McTatts
"Stevie Wonder's Tattoo Experience" comes to mind.
Can you imagine, just for a moment, the horrific sense of personal failure his parents must feel every time they lay their eyes on this idiot?
Poostain, because he reminds me of my boxer briefs after a Chipotle binge.
Dr. DB
The Most Unemployable Man in the World
or
Needledick
'ForeSkin'
By the way, you should all check out her dad on the new website DOHCWDB. There is a video of him closing his head in a vice to stop the pain.
No kidding, check it out.
Dr. DB
Dr. Feelchoad
Subtle Scrote
Color Me Bag
Travis-T
Day Labor
HoodCum
What the hell is that about?!
Shrivel-Dick Nick
Inkspot Robot
Tattalanche
Poonami
El Flaco and Pink Taco
Jackoff Poollock
—Sully O'Baggins
—Sully O'Baggins
Carcinoma Ken
Hoodlum the Homeless Horror
Kaleidoscrote
Douche by numbers
Captain DribbleChin
Nipples McTatts
Birdchest
Shot Through the Heart, and You're Too Lame.
Shades of an Asswipe
Your Ad Here Bag
Hepascrotis C
Parent Issues
-or-
Sideshow Bob
-or-
Melvin
-or-
The Reason Tattoo Removal Lasers Go to "11"
Douche Palette
Color Me Bag
Choad Crayola
Resume' Killa'
Etch-a-scrote
Miami Stink
Taggedbag. My money is on him having fallen asleep in a tattoo parlour and waking up with these uncoordinated scribbles on him. No sentient being would ask anyone to do that to them.
The Undecided Bag – he seems to have left space around his nipples in case he does decide to go ahead with the sex change. After all he doesn't want to stretch any of his tats when he has his new boobs put in.
Plus has anyone noticed but I an not sure that those tattoos are actually part of him? I think they might be mats of semi-sentient bacterial matter as they are trying to colonise the poor girl next to him. They've already leaked off his arms onto her shoulder and the handle of his gun has been caught in mid-transform as it creeps onto her breast and pretends to be a flower.
Chris said it first, but this guy is "Travis Barker's Bitch"
This dude's a Plain Wreck.
Pun intended.
Skidmark
Jackson Pulldick?
Salvador Douchey?
Ink Stained Wretch
"Very" White
Justified Homicide.
Captain Douchetastic and the Brownhole Cowboy
Failed out of Yakuza Tech
Larry
I don't know, I kinda want to call him Twinkletoes.
Ben Dover (only when he's at County Jail)
How bout
Omg-i-wanna-pound-his-fuccen-face-in-for-having-same-hott-in-more-than-one-pic-which-means-she-actually-chooses-to-be-with-him-and-i-want-to-cry-now
Too long?
Well then, how bout "Scrotes Illustrated" and if Jezebel is underage "Scrotes Illustrated for Kids"
or "Backpack Tat 'Bag"
-noobbag
Scrote Post
Poonigma
Farty McDouche
Scratchy Pymethrin
Clay Midea
Lice Dick Dan
The Skid Mark
Butt Finger
Andy Whorehol
and my favorite…
Shit-for-brains.
Forrest Twink
Spokesman for Diminished Expectations
Inky-stinky Hoodlum
(with a basket of organic turds?)
Kanye
Vulture Culture
Barkbag and Betty Boobs, For the Tag
Etch-A-Wretch
Dr. Kenneth Nosewater
Trailerbag
How patriotic. He's wearing a mini American flag on the top of his cap.
Scrotelum
The Real Slim Baggy
@ Dr. DB 11:53
Dual overhead cams with douchebags? That site doesn't really sound that good.
-noobbag
The Runaway Plain Wreck
Taintpaint
-noobbag
Holly Genero
3rd Trimester Abortion
No Tarmal for Mac
Prom Queen of Cell Block C
Sir Marks-A-Lot
You guys effin rule. I wish I wasn't so late to the party once again. Closing on the house today and you should SEE the basement in this place. Buffalo Bill is begging to use it for the weekend.
But, I digress. And I toss in my offerings:
Doodlebag
Scratchpad
Pokey
Splatterpud
Shopping list
Practicebag
Slim Inkins
And….
The Inkling.
Travisty
FireSharter
Inkjet Crash
The Cartoon Outofwork
The Comic and his Stripper
Jail Taint.
I like Anon's "Stink-180-Poo.
Graffiti Wall
@Anon 12:46pm
Thank you.
@Anon 12:49pm
Hey! Fuck you! That was me!!
I take full credit for Stink 180-Poo
I appreciate the credit, Anon 12:46.
100!!
The Hat-tilt Hoodlum
Porch Tatt
Fuck It, Troy FTW
I like "Color Me Bag"
The Inkling
Nipples McTatts ftw
Rat-Tatt-Tatt
Rectal Canvas
The Stinky Canvas
AV
I Peed In A Tattoo Parlor
Inky and The Stain
Nipple McStipple
Sternum McFreakChick
I like Cartoon Out-of-Work… lol that's a good one.
And BTW, it was me who did Stink 180-Poo. Thank you, thank you.
Fecal Smear
AV
Professional Tattee
AV
Comic-Cock ChoadScrote.
Queequeg
AV
Michael, your local Hoveround representative.
Rags 2 Douchebags
The Billboard
Boyz 2 Ink
Slit-Eyed Jack-Assed Lantern-Jawed Minion o' Satan
Rainbow Clitorus
Roast Beef Rainbow Sheen
…you know what I'm talking about. We've ALL seen it…that rainbow sheen on roast beef slices…right? Right?
I think his stomach says Pood cum… isn't that just another way of saying "Feltch"? Just sayin'
Needs to be Sandblasted
AV
Chavis
-DD
Ring Around the Nosie
AV
Pathological narcissism is only skin deep. Inside the skin is a taint-scented vacuum
I like Anon's "Stink 18Poo". And I really like Anons. In that special way.
I threw up in my mouth when I saw him. So "BarfBag" it is.
nik richey?
Ah, the classic Inkscrote!
"Color Me Bag" FTW
I don't believe there are many left to choose from, DB1 . . . the only word that came to mind when first I saw this ink-stained wanker was 'perineum' . . . a quick hop to the anagram machine produced –
Unripe Me
Pee in rum
Me prune I
Unsatisfied, I elaborated with 'sweaty perineum' and found a more satisfying –
A weenier stumpy
A weepers mutiny
Meanie spew yurt
Retinae spew yum
Enema w'ite syrup
Eaten Wiry Spume
I'm going with a compromise, the anagram inspired 'Weepy Perineum'
That Bleeth looks just like my cousin.
I don't know – saulgoode's "Travis-T" at 11:56 a.m. was pretty good, too.
I'm going with "Batting Practice."
Graffiti Petey
'Bagis Barker
Dick Mitten
Sir Lost A Bet
Do I have something on my face?
Poobeef salad
Smell's like death
Travis Cocker
Travis Barker's Pud
Peaving Las Vegas
Scratch `n Sniff?
A tall punching-stick tatted up like my 6-year-old's color-by-numbers book. Hummm, let me think…
How about:
scrotumpole
A question what is the significance of having the hat always tilt awar from the hot. Does he constantly change it from side to side depending on where she is standing
How about:
Taint By The Numbers
KaleidoScrote
Ole' brown nips.
Blotterbag
Scrotey Inktaint
Someone said it in the comments on the previous picture, so I did not make this up, but I go with "Tragic Barker" FTW
Capital Punishment
No matter what we call this waste of flesh, in the joint Bubba the Lovedog calls Mr. Hoodlum – "Promdate".
Capital Poonishment ?
He is gloriuosly baggy and I shall call him 'Douche 1.8.2.'
Stewed, Screwed and Tat-Poo'd!!!
ink dribble.
Punching 'Bag
Collagetomy 'Bag
Crayola Kidd
Mural Lagasshole
'BAG!
Enough of him. Knock one of her teeth out and give her a beehive and she'd win first prize in the Amy Winehouse look-a-like contest.
Vomitorium of Color
Sphinxy
Monkey Love
Poo Operator
How do you keep a moron busy?
Scrotangelo (after Michelangelo)
Nightmare on Tatt Street
Freddy Doucher
Ennui
Blast of ass
Rectal Molasses
Nerduckhen Goes to Jerzey
Tattywhacker
Tattus Maximus
Do you want fries with that?
Etch-a-Mess
His chin almost matches Salt Lick's lower belly. The designs could almost interlock…..
Nahhhhh, couldn't be!
Howzabout
"The Inkstain"?
"Born to make minimum wage"?
"Circus Pud"?
@ Wheezer
LOL! Well played, sir. And by well played I mean I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Which one is named "Janet R."?
Ink Blister
Travesty Barker
The Ink-ubator
Missing L'ink
Ink'n Log
Quill the Thrill
I've met this guy. He lives in Chicago and does shitty graffiti. He's also a blithering idiot – if that's a surprise to anyone.
Lasagna Doof Boob
Gas Station Attendant
Sphinkter
I also like Stink 1-8-Poo
Twatwaffle House DMO
The Ink-onvenient Truth
Is that supposed to be a tatt of her on his lower sternum? What does it say underneath it?
Poxson?
Poxbon?
What's on his throat?
End Strange Typos?
End Starch Types?
I'm confoosed.
The Ink-onceivable Douche
"I Hate Me" is probably his real name.
Ink, He Ate Poo
Tatpestry
The Cistern Crapel
Lotsa good name ideas up there.
But I'm stickin with Scribbles.
I've seen a variety of really bad tatts in my day, but this spinning bucket of hurl is right near the top of the list.
I mean – it's not even well done. It's just random nonsense – scribbles. He probably started off like this idiot, and then thought it was cool. Soon it took over his life, and now he is just a collection of doodles, a scribble pad of undying stupidity.
Scrotological Enigma
Fuckstick
Placenta Spasm
Puto
Scrote McDuck
Daddy Issues Galore
Graffeces
Wretch-A-Sketch
The Ink Pot
Flash
Taggy McGee
Captain Indecisive
Butt4 – which is short for 'But For the Grace of God'
Post No Bill
That Guy That Passed Out at Medusa's House After She'd Done a Ton of Blow
Anass Rhammer
Emilio Estevez
SpiroCrap
"Wait! Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in douche activity? Think about it."
@Troy Tempest ^2:33
I don't know. I think I'm now leaning towards "Spinning bucket of Hurl"
Would look more impressive on a business card.
Wretch-a-Sketch by Baron FTW!!
Wretch-A-Sketch
heh heh
Jezebel is hot; she has a little of the Carly thing going on. I like her.
He is a full pud, and will win the weekly in a landslide. Everybody else is playing for second place now. And since this month is half over, I like him to take the monthly, based on what I've seen so far.
Douchebag. Loser. Et- fuccen-cetera.
Wretch-a-sketch made me laugh loudly in my vewy vewy quiet cubicle!
I think by now we know (unfortunately) that this isn't Travis ("Stink-180-Poo" would've been nice) Barker. So our judging can't leverage that connection. I happen to like "Wretch-a-Sketch"…
Baron Von Goolo: probably the most efficient 'baghunter here.
"Wretch-a-Sketch" is nice! I guess this guy's baby broheim would be Magna Douchebag.
Twinky
Color Me Bland
Methods of Gayhem
Tommy Knees
Skizzm
Petri Douche
Culture Crud
FrankenStaind
LimpDipshit
StevieRayDiedAndThisThingStillLives?
ShartBoard
Pinthetailonthehonky
@El Queso, 3:08 p.m. –
Change "Pinthetailonthehonky" to "Pinthefailonthehonky" and you have a winner!
Kevin sez: "I've met this guy. He lives in Chicago and does shitty graffiti. He's also a blithering idiot – if that's a surprise to anyone."
Doesn't that effin figure. One, he's from Chicago. Why is it, the bigger the asshat, the more likely it is he's from Chicago. I don't exclude myself from that, either. And he does shitty graffiti, an even bigger surprise, NOT. He's pretty much unemployable for anything that doesn't involve digging ditches or disposing of diseased animal carcasses, or both. So! What's the next step? Become a vandal and hope you're the next Banksy. The problem with that is that Banksy actually makes street art that anyone can understand, hence his popularity, and accompanying fiscal success. Spray painting your name on a train car that no one can read, save for other Krylon-huffing degenerates, isn't likely to pay the bills.
The bad news is, this seems to get you some top-shelf poonanny. Oh, yeah, that's because women are retards who go for bad boys (read: junkie loser bustouts). You couldn't pay me to look like this dope, and I get paid to make these dopes look that way. That oughta say something….Sepaking of which, where the heck is JCVD?
L.A. D'ink
^I don't mean "speaking of dopes, where is JCVD", I meant, "Speaking of tattoos, where is JCVD"?
Oh, and…
Museum Of Modern Shart
Illboard
Disasterpiece
Vincent Van D'oh
Vincent Van Stop
Dickasso
Leonardo Douchevinci
Jackson Pudlick(Repeat? Sorry)
Frank Lloyd Wrong
"The Stink in Ink"
-crazy-sexy-douche
in honor of his gangster wannabe douchiness, i shall call him pooed-lum.
gay-ass kid
Quetzalscrotl.
i'm trying to make a pun based on the word "made" but i'm running low on ideas. fuck.
Unemployable Al?
I think some of his tats leaked onto Jezeble's left teton.
How about "Miami Stink"
The Crayola Kid
The Tainttoo.
Spiderpud.
Iggy Poop
canvas 'bag
because his body is a canvas. get it. shoot me now.
Sincerely,
Whattabagger!
Crayolabag
Magic Barker
Shartie
Poo Poo Platter
Bagpack
Looks as if an architect puke shit all over him…
Meh, I give up…
ferret scrote
Hahahaha!!! "Kaleidoscrote!" Nice!!!
The Ed Hardouche.
POODLUM!
The Doodlebug
Game over… it's "Wretch-a-Sketch" FTW!! Well done, Baron.
Hardy McSkinshirt
Ed Hardy Stalker #367
Living Flash or simply Flash
(Tattoo term there: for those ignorant of the ink world, a flash is a sheet of designs from which you can choose. Artists sell their designs that way. Hardy made part of his fortune selling Sailor Jerry's designs that way.)
yeah wretch a sketch is good
Taintball
Inky McDoucheville
Hep C Patient, if we're lucky
That IS Travis Barker! No? Well, he should be on here with that fine wife he had…what a DB.
PhoenixPharts 'Bag
–VS
also, Leopud Bloom at 3:46pm, excellent. sirrah. Better spelt
"Queztalscrotlotl" imho but. as it was, still had me spitting stuff on my monitor.
–VS
The no federal dollars to pay for tattoo removal scrote
The no federal dollars to pay for tattoo removal scrote
The i can't handle my Hypotrichosis so i got tattoos scrote
Wretch-A-Sketch
Because he makes me want to wretch, and I just want to shake the crap out of him.
The Cystine Nipple
Travesty Barker or Dink 182
Hoodlam Hank
Billy Badd Ink
@Wheezer: heheheheheheh. Even better! Well played. [golf clap]
Courtesy of sportswriter Rick Reilly: The Human Bathroom Stall
"That's the unfortunate thing about tattoo guns: no delete key."
@El Queso –
You're welcome. : )
DoucheToo
TatPubes
Still a Virgin Bag
Unemployabag
Tat in the hat bag
Jeez. Best thread this month.
I just came back to catch up and almost snorted out my Kodiak right through my left nostril.
Goolo-isms. Always a treat.
Baron Von Goolo is The Great White Snark….We're gonna need a bigger scrote…
I like "Nipple McStipple". Fuckin' hilarious.
OKAY, late to the game as often, but I submit
OSTOMYBAG, for that generous pile of slithering poo.
Some douchebags are so awful, so end-stage, they can only be the poo itself, not just the smell.
But I'll take Troy's "Scribbles" just because it reminds me of Scrabble and the fun of making up words with squares. ANd this guy is a made-up whack if ever there was one.
Hooddouche? and has anyone mentioned that the girlie is wearing cheetah print not zebra?
Cuttlefish
Regards,
Douche Pitt
Name: Jezebel
Turn-Ons: mistakes and failures
Turn-Offs: self-respect, planning for the future.
Stick 180-Poo FTW.
The best I could come up with is "Unemployed Bag"
Uber scrote who oozes douche ink with every fibre of his miserable being…I give you CUTTLEFISH.
Regards,
Douche Pitt
For you lovers of classic vade mecum, I present to you the Queequeg Scrote
Dr. Douchelove
Sorest Rump
Mistake-a-douche 182
OR
Doodle-Scrote 182
lol @ the "wretch-a-sketch"
I'm sure Travis Parker feels ashamed that he has inspired a shittier version of himself
Dr. DB w/
Color Me Bag FTW
Fuck!
"The body is my palette, my brain a blank canvas"
"The body is my palette, my brain a blank canvas"
She's hates her Dad Douche.
The perfect guy to cause a raucous at a family thanksgiving.
I'd pay to see Jezebel's brothers bouncing this guys head off the driveway.
Stink 180 Poo! HAHAHAHAHA!
BARKER BAG! come on!!!
Travis……for obvious reasons……
Ball licker Bob
HOODLAME!
This dudes douchey name is "Hoodlame" and he is the drummer for Broke-177…that's the corresponding number for 2 dudes who get down on all fours and lick eachothers taint…
Ruby Throated Hoodlom Bag
Silly Putty Skin
Bazooka Joke
Cracka Jack No-Prize
(comment co-sponsored by Marvel Comics Group™)
The 'Bag Man on Canvas
Doodlebag, FTW.
=^D
Doodlebag
or
Bagkuza
@Anon 5:12 Great minds….
xcore-bag.
obviously.
"My ink weighs more than me" bag.
How about "Hymie Bag" in honor of his KAOS tat…you remember Hymie…the robot from KAOS on "Get Smart"…'cause, like Hymie, there's no way this guy's human with all that ink in him.
Blech.
Doodles
Facetat Fail Boy
i mean this isnt just any random doucher off the streets, this is Travis Barker, the King douche himself, His royal Doucheness, Il Douchee…
Vincent Van Poo
Michel-douche-angelo
If you'll notice his tat's are clearly contagious — notice boob-tat— I think his moniker should be "H1-N-douche"
His ears tell me that Scribbles/Wretch-a-Sketch is a Captain America fan.
I found his soulmate – the yin to his yang (if the "shield" colors mean anything).
Joey Bagascroatenuts?
Bagstract art?
Taint by Numbers?
Finger taint
Peek a boo, I see poo
Dirt mcflirt
dumbass
Twink 182
"Weekly Winner"
While I didn't vote, I have to say there were many a good name. I particularly liked Quequegbag and the Illustrated Bag, but damn…if Wretch-a-Sketch doesn't get my ass on the floor in stitches. Good f'ing choice.
The only person that can get away with a head tattoo is Bam Bam Bigelow. And he's dead. Although I am working on a voodoo spell to raise him from the dead so he can kick the arse of my vote, Wretch-a-Sketch, from Asbury Park to Staten Island and back again.
Proof that the Human species is devolving.
Fuckface McBaggins