Thursday, November 19, 2009

Name that Scrote


Last night’s HCwDB After Dark pic, in which this tatted up, hat tilted, pants dropping grease-scrote was found rubbing up on a fiery zebra Latina we’ll call Jezebel, was not given an official tag.

Since the naming pool is plentiful, I figured I’d open up the ‘tag for Monday’s Weekly. The leading contender right now is Troy Tempest with “Scribbles.”

Can you do better?

Tag that ‘Bag in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
7:10 pm November, 19 Chris said...

The Homeless Man's Travis Barker.

7:10 pm November, 19 End the Haberdouchery said...

Ronald.

7:11 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Stink 180-Poo

7:12 pm November, 19 TheReverendDoom said...

Hep-C Scrote

7:12 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

BahHaHaHa! This douche has made a whole "career" out of hoping people will mistake him for that other douche from Blink 182.

7:15 pm November, 19 The Once and Future Douche said...

The Illustrated Bag

7:16 pm November, 19 the douche is alright said...

"How do you explain this to your grandkids?" 'bag

7:17 pm November, 19 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Mark the ink stained hoodlum.

Professor Feltcher

Worst heart burn ever

Jim Bobs BOGO Tattoo Parlor

Queequegbag

7:18 pm November, 19 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Unemployable Bag

7:19 pm November, 19 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Drew the color blind minstral

7:20 pm November, 19 boatbutter said...

Rectal Pus

7:20 pm November, 19 boatbutter said...

Pantone Puke

7:21 pm November, 19 Doo Schnozzle said...

Canvas Bag, in honor of being a drawing surface.

7:21 pm November, 19 boatbutter said...

Po1son Hoodlum

7:22 pm November, 19 Howlermonkey said...

"Poodlum"? At least that's what I think it says on his stomach. And if a douche goes through the trouble of getting his nickname tattooed on his stomach, we must call him by it.

7:22 pm November, 19 boatbutter said...

Scribbles is best.

7:24 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Does his tattoo say Hoodham?

Lurker C

7:26 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Pale Poison Poo

7:29 pm November, 19 Wedgie said...

Above the "Hoodlum" tatt, his nickname appears to be "Kaos Kidd". I'm sorry, but you don't get to nickname yourself, K.K. First rule of the street, nicknames must be earned.

I can't think of anything clever. Words like "asshat" and "assclown" pop into my waterlogged brain, but they don't seem appropriate. He is trying so very hard to be a "bad boy".

A while back, I saw a documentary on body piercings, and it showed a guy taking a bullet for the scar. Since he has everything else, I'd like to give him a couple of those, center mass. I won't even charge him for the bullets.

7:38 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Blink one eighty douche

7:40 pm November, 19 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Graffiti Douche?

7:41 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Doodler

7:41 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Future in food service industry crap gobbler

7:44 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

He has "Hoodlum" tattoed on his belly. Really white boy, really.

7:45 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

TattchinDribble

BroInkus

Gat Tatt Matt

I Loves me the needle

Nostratattamus

Poo Yardie

Ink Spill

—Sully O'Baggins

7:47 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Nipples McTatts

7:49 pm November, 19 RAPETIME said...

"Stevie Wonder's Tattoo Experience" comes to mind.

Can you imagine, just for a moment, the horrific sense of personal failure his parents must feel every time they lay their eyes on this idiot?

7:52 pm November, 19 Dr. DB said...

Poostain, because he reminds me of my boxer briefs after a Chipotle binge.

Dr. DB

7:52 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

The Most Unemployable Man in the World

or

Needledick

7:53 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

'ForeSkin'

7:53 pm November, 19 Dr. DB said...

By the way, you should all check out her dad on the new website DOHCWDB. There is a video of him closing his head in a vice to stop the pain.

No kidding, check it out.

Dr. DB

7:54 pm November, 19 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Dr. Feelchoad

7:55 pm November, 19 Dr. DB said...

Subtle Scrote

7:55 pm November, 19 Dr. DB said...

Color Me Bag

7:56 pm November, 19 saulgoode42 said...

Travis-T

7:57 pm November, 19 E-blos last thought said...

Day Labor

7:57 pm November, 19 Boobie McGee said...

HoodCum

What the hell is that about?!

7:57 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Shrivel-Dick Nick

Inkspot Robot

Tattalanche

Poonami

El Flaco and Pink Taco

Jackoff Poollock

—Sully O'Baggins

—Sully O'Baggins

7:59 pm November, 19 Scooby Douche said...

Carcinoma Ken

8:00 pm November, 19 E-blos last thought said...

Hoodlum the Homeless Horror

8:00 pm November, 19 jonezy said...

Kaleidoscrote

Douche by numbers

Captain DribbleChin

8:04 pm November, 19 Rumple4Skin said...

Nipples McTatts

8:04 pm November, 19 The Observation Specialist said...

Birdchest

Shot Through the Heart, and You're Too Lame.

Shades of an Asswipe

8:05 pm November, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Your Ad Here Bag

8:06 pm November, 19 scrotum pole said...

Hepascrotis C

8:07 pm November, 19 UFO Destroyers said...

Parent Issues

-or-

Sideshow Bob

-or-

Melvin

-or-

The Reason Tattoo Removal Lasers Go to "11"

8:07 pm November, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Douche Palette

8:07 pm November, 19 The Observation Specialist said...

Color Me Bag

8:07 pm November, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Choad Crayola

8:08 pm November, 19 scrotum pole said...

Resume' Killa'

8:09 pm November, 19 scrotum pole said...

Etch-a-scrote

8:12 pm November, 19 scrotum pole said...

Miami Stink

8:12 pm November, 19 Scroteophobic said...

Taggedbag. My money is on him having fallen asleep in a tattoo parlour and waking up with these uncoordinated scribbles on him. No sentient being would ask anyone to do that to them.

The Undecided Bag – he seems to have left space around his nipples in case he does decide to go ahead with the sex change. After all he doesn't want to stretch any of his tats when he has his new boobs put in.

Plus has anyone noticed but I an not sure that those tattoos are actually part of him? I think they might be mats of semi-sentient bacterial matter as they are trying to colonise the poor girl next to him. They've already leaked off his arms onto her shoulder and the handle of his gun has been caught in mid-transform as it creeps onto her breast and pretends to be a flower.

8:13 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Chris said it first, but this guy is "Travis Barker's Bitch"

8:13 pm November, 19 Crucial Head said...

This dude's a Plain Wreck.

Pun intended.

8:14 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Skidmark

8:14 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Jackson Pulldick?

8:14 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Salvador Douchey?

8:16 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Ink Stained Wretch

8:16 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

"Very" White

8:16 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Justified Homicide.

8:17 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Captain Douchetastic and the Brownhole Cowboy

8:18 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Failed out of Yakuza Tech

8:19 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Larry

8:19 pm November, 19 Mike said...

I don't know, I kinda want to call him Twinkletoes.

8:20 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Ben Dover (only when he's at County Jail)

8:20 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

How bout

Omg-i-wanna-pound-his-fuccen-face-in-for-having-same-hott-in-more-than-one-pic-which-means-she-actually-chooses-to-be-with-him-and-i-want-to-cry-now

Too long?

Well then, how bout "Scrotes Illustrated" and if Jezebel is underage "Scrotes Illustrated for Kids"

or "Backpack Tat 'Bag"

-noobbag

8:20 pm November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Scrote Post

Poonigma

Farty McDouche

Scratchy Pymethrin

Clay Midea

Lice Dick Dan

The Skid Mark

Butt Finger

Andy Whorehol

and my favorite…

Shit-for-brains.

8:20 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Forrest Twink

8:21 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Spokesman for Diminished Expectations

8:22 pm November, 19 Spiny Norman said...

Inky-stinky Hoodlum

(with a basket of organic turds?)

8:22 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Kanye

8:23 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Vulture Culture

8:24 pm November, 19 BallDepp said...

Barkbag and Betty Boobs, For the Tag

8:24 pm November, 19 Bag A said...

Etch-A-Wretch

8:24 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Dr. Kenneth Nosewater

8:26 pm November, 19 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Trailerbag

8:26 pm November, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

How patriotic. He's wearing a mini American flag on the top of his cap.

8:26 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Scrotelum

The Real Slim Baggy

8:27 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

@ Dr. DB 11:53

Dual overhead cams with douchebags? That site doesn't really sound that good.

-noobbag

8:27 pm November, 19 Crucial Head said...

The Runaway Plain Wreck

8:30 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Taintpaint

-noobbag

8:30 pm November, 19 doucheintheheartof texas said...

Holly Genero

8:31 pm November, 19 doucheintheheartof texas said...

3rd Trimester Abortion

8:31 pm November, 19 Teddy Tendergass said...

No Tarmal for Mac

8:32 pm November, 19 doucheintheheartof texas said...

Prom Queen of Cell Block C

8:34 pm November, 19 doucheintheheartof texas said...

Sir Marks-A-Lot

8:36 pm November, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

You guys effin rule. I wish I wasn't so late to the party once again. Closing on the house today and you should SEE the basement in this place. Buffalo Bill is begging to use it for the weekend.
But, I digress. And I toss in my offerings:

Doodlebag
Scratchpad
Pokey
Splatterpud
Shopping list
Practicebag
Slim Inkins
And….

The Inkling.

8:36 pm November, 19 El Queso said...

Travisty

FireSharter

8:40 pm November, 19 Walrus Whisker said...

Inkjet Crash

8:42 pm November, 19 Pömmelhorse Pümmelfister said...

The Cartoon Outofwork

8:43 pm November, 19 Scrötinger’s Cat said...

The Comic and his Stripper

8:45 pm November, 19 E-blos last thought said...

Jail Taint.

8:46 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I like Anon's "Stink-180-Poo.

8:46 pm November, 19 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Graffiti Wall

8:49 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

@Anon 12:46pm

Thank you.

8:49 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

@Anon 12:49pm

Hey! Fuck you! That was me!!

8:52 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I take full credit for Stink 180-Poo

8:53 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I appreciate the credit, Anon 12:46.

8:53 pm November, 19 YES, THAT MUTHUFUCKA! said...

100!!

8:54 pm November, 19 Kurt Scrotestain said...

The Hat-tilt Hoodlum

8:55 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Porch Tatt

8:55 pm November, 19 scrotum pole said...

Fuck It, Troy FTW

8:56 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I like "Color Me Bag"

8:57 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

The Inkling

8:57 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Nipples McTatts ftw

8:58 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Rat-Tatt-Tatt

9:00 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Rectal Canvas

9:00 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

The Stinky Canvas

AV

9:00 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

I Peed In A Tattoo Parlor

9:01 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Inky and The Stain

9:02 pm November, 19 HorseCock McThunderFart, The Benevolent Bog Limnologist said...

Nipple McStipple

9:03 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Sternum McFreakChick

9:05 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I like Cartoon Out-of-Work… lol that's a good one.

And BTW, it was me who did Stink 180-Poo. Thank you, thank you.

9:07 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Fecal Smear

AV

9:10 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Professional Tattee

AV

9:11 pm November, 19 Anonne Huntress said...

Comic-Cock ChoadScrote.

9:13 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Queequeg

AV

9:13 pm November, 19 End the Haberdouchery said...

Michael, your local Hoveround representative.

9:13 pm November, 19 Teddy said...

Rags 2 Douchebags

9:14 pm November, 19 shawk said...

The Billboard

9:21 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Boyz 2 Ink

9:22 pm November, 19 Torque MuleBrow said...

Slit-Eyed Jack-Assed Lantern-Jawed Minion o' Satan

9:22 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Rainbow Clitorus

9:23 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Roast Beef Rainbow Sheen

…you know what I'm talking about. We've ALL seen it…that rainbow sheen on roast beef slices…right? Right?

9:25 pm November, 19 Douche-Pac Shakur said...

I think his stomach says Pood cum… isn't that just another way of saying "Feltch"? Just sayin'

9:29 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Needs to be Sandblasted

AV

9:29 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Chavis

-DD

9:31 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Ring Around the Nosie

AV

9:33 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Pathological narcissism is only skin deep. Inside the skin is a taint-scented vacuum

9:33 pm November, 19 Wedgie said...

I like Anon's "Stink 18Poo". And I really like Anons. In that special way.

9:34 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I threw up in my mouth when I saw him. So "BarfBag" it is.

9:37 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

nik richey?

9:39 pm November, 19 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Ah, the classic Inkscrote!

9:39 pm November, 19 Tiffani Amber Thighsuckle said...

"Color Me Bag" FTW

9:39 pm November, 19 Hector Tamer of Douches said...

I don't believe there are many left to choose from, DB1 . . . the only word that came to mind when first I saw this ink-stained wanker was 'perineum' . . . a quick hop to the anagram machine produced –

Unripe Me
Pee in rum
Me prune I

Unsatisfied, I elaborated with 'sweaty perineum' and found a more satisfying –

A weenier stumpy
A weepers mutiny
Meanie spew yurt
Retinae spew yum
Enema w'ite syrup
Eaten Wiry Spume

I'm going with a compromise, the anagram inspired 'Weepy Perineum'

That Bleeth looks just like my cousin.

9:41 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

I don't know – saulgoode's "Travis-T" at 11:56 a.m. was pretty good, too.

I'm going with "Batting Practice."

9:43 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Graffiti Petey

9:43 pm November, 19 Blair said...

'Bagis Barker

9:45 pm November, 19 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Dick Mitten

Sir Lost A Bet

Do I have something on my face?

Poobeef salad

Smell's like death

Travis Cocker

Travis Barker's Pud

Peaving Las Vegas

Scratch `n Sniff?

9:49 pm November, 19 The Desert Douchehunter said...

A tall punching-stick tatted up like my 6-year-old's color-by-numbers book. Hummm, let me think…

How about:

scrotumpole

9:50 pm November, 19 Hotspur said...

A question what is the significance of having the hat always tilt awar from the hot. Does he constantly change it from side to side depending on where she is standing

9:51 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

How about:

Taint By The Numbers

9:52 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

KaleidoScrote

9:52 pm November, 19 Colussus of Choads said...

Ole' brown nips.

9:52 pm November, 19 Southern Scrotic said...

Blotterbag

9:56 pm November, 19 Mikey said...

Scrotey Inktaint

9:57 pm November, 19 Sir Harry S. Flashdouche said...

Someone said it in the comments on the previous picture, so I did not make this up, but I go with "Tragic Barker" FTW

9:58 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Capital Punishment

9:59 pm November, 19 The Desert Douchehunter said...

No matter what we call this waste of flesh, in the joint Bubba the Lovedog calls Mr. Hoodlum – "Promdate".

9:59 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Capital Poonishment ?

9:59 pm November, 19 Lewdig said...

He is gloriuosly baggy and I shall call him 'Douche 1.8.2.'

10:00 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Stewed, Screwed and Tat-Poo'd!!!

10:00 pm November, 19 fightoffyourdemons said...

ink dribble.

10:05 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Punching 'Bag

10:05 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Collagetomy 'Bag

10:06 pm November, 19 Captain Bringdown said...

Crayola Kidd

10:07 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Mural Lagasshole

'BAG!

10:07 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Enough of him. Knock one of her teeth out and give her a beehive and she'd win first prize in the Amy Winehouse look-a-like contest.

10:10 pm November, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vomitorium of Color

Sphinxy

Monkey Love

Poo Operator

How do you keep a moron busy?

Scrotangelo (after Michelangelo)

Nightmare on Tatt Street

Freddy Doucher

Ennui

Blast of ass

Rectal Molasses

Nerduckhen Goes to Jerzey

Tattywhacker

Tattus Maximus

Do you want fries with that?

10:13 pm November, 19 Captain Bringdown said...

Etch-a-Mess

10:15 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

His chin almost matches Salt Lick's lower belly. The designs could almost interlock…..

Nahhhhh, couldn't be!

10:16 pm November, 19 numbskull72 said...

Howzabout

"The Inkstain"?

"Born to make minimum wage"?

"Circus Pud"?

10:17 pm November, 19 The Desert Douchehunter said...

@ Wheezer

LOL! Well played, sir. And by well played I mean I just threw up in my mouth a little.

10:17 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Which one is named "Janet R."?

10:17 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Ink Blister

10:17 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Travesty Barker

10:18 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Ink-ubator

10:18 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Missing L'ink

10:18 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Ink'n Log

10:18 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Quill the Thrill

10:19 pm November, 19 Kevin said...

I've met this guy. He lives in Chicago and does shitty graffiti. He's also a blithering idiot – if that's a surprise to anyone.

10:20 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Lasagna Doof Boob

10:20 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Gas Station Attendant

10:20 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Sphinkter

10:21 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I also like Stink 1-8-Poo

10:21 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Twatwaffle House DMO

10:22 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Ink-onvenient Truth

10:23 pm November, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is that supposed to be a tatt of her on his lower sternum? What does it say underneath it?

Poxson?

Poxbon?

What's on his throat?

End Strange Typos?

End Starch Types?

I'm confoosed.

10:23 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Ink-onceivable Douche

10:24 pm November, 19 The Desert Douchehunter said...

"I Hate Me" is probably his real name.

10:25 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Ink, He Ate Poo

10:25 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tatpestry

10:29 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Cistern Crapel

10:33 pm November, 19 Troy Tempest said...

Lotsa good name ideas up there.

But I'm stickin with Scribbles.

I've seen a variety of really bad tatts in my day, but this spinning bucket of hurl is right near the top of the list.

I mean – it's not even well done. It's just random nonsense – scribbles. He probably started off like this idiot, and then thought it was cool. Soon it took over his life, and now he is just a collection of doodles, a scribble pad of undying stupidity.

10:33 pm November, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Scrotological Enigma

Fuckstick

Placenta Spasm

Puto

10:36 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Scrote McDuck

Daddy Issues Galore

10:38 pm November, 19 Baron Von Goolo said...

Graffeces

Wretch-A-Sketch

The Ink Pot

Flash

Taggy McGee

Captain Indecisive

Butt4 – which is short for 'But For the Grace of God'

Post No Bill

That Guy That Passed Out at Medusa's House After She'd Done a Ton of Blow

10:44 pm November, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Anass Rhammer

10:46 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Emilio Estevez

10:49 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

SpiroCrap

"Wait! Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in douche activity? Think about it."

10:57 pm November, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Troy Tempest ^2:33

I don't know. I think I'm now leaning towards "Spinning bucket of Hurl"

Would look more impressive on a business card.

10:57 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Wretch-a-Sketch by Baron FTW!!

11:01 pm November, 19 DarkSock said...

Wretch-A-Sketch

heh heh

11:03 pm November, 19 Wedgie said...

Jezebel is hot; she has a little of the Carly thing going on. I like her.

He is a full pud, and will win the weekly in a landslide. Everybody else is playing for second place now. And since this month is half over, I like him to take the monthly, based on what I've seen so far.

Douchebag. Loser. Et- fuccen-cetera.

11:04 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

Wretch-a-sketch made me laugh loudly in my vewy vewy quiet cubicle!

11:06 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

I think by now we know (unfortunately) that this isn't Travis ("Stink-180-Poo" would've been nice) Barker. So our judging can't leverage that connection. I happen to like "Wretch-a-Sketch"…

11:08 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

Baron Von Goolo: probably the most efficient 'baghunter here.

"Wretch-a-Sketch" is nice! I guess this guy's baby broheim would be Magna Douchebag.

11:08 pm November, 19 El Queso said...

Twinky
Color Me Bland
Methods of Gayhem
Tommy Knees
Skizzm
Petri Douche
Culture Crud
FrankenStaind
LimpDipshit
StevieRayDiedAndThisThingStillLives?
ShartBoard
Pinthetailonthehonky

11:10 pm November, 19 Wheezer said...

@El Queso, 3:08 p.m. –

Change "Pinthetailonthehonky" to "Pinthefailonthehonky" and you have a winner!

11:15 pm November, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

Kevin sez: "I've met this guy. He lives in Chicago and does shitty graffiti. He's also a blithering idiot – if that's a surprise to anyone."

Doesn't that effin figure. One, he's from Chicago. Why is it, the bigger the asshat, the more likely it is he's from Chicago. I don't exclude myself from that, either. And he does shitty graffiti, an even bigger surprise, NOT. He's pretty much unemployable for anything that doesn't involve digging ditches or disposing of diseased animal carcasses, or both. So! What's the next step? Become a vandal and hope you're the next Banksy. The problem with that is that Banksy actually makes street art that anyone can understand, hence his popularity, and accompanying fiscal success. Spray painting your name on a train car that no one can read, save for other Krylon-huffing degenerates, isn't likely to pay the bills.

The bad news is, this seems to get you some top-shelf poonanny. Oh, yeah, that's because women are retards who go for bad boys (read: junkie loser bustouts). You couldn't pay me to look like this dope, and I get paid to make these dopes look that way. That oughta say something….Sepaking of which, where the heck is JCVD?

11:18 pm November, 19 Anonymous said...

L.A. D'ink

11:18 pm November, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

^I don't mean "speaking of dopes, where is JCVD", I meant, "Speaking of tattoos, where is JCVD"?

Oh, and…

Museum Of Modern Shart

Illboard

Disasterpiece

11:21 pm November, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

Vincent Van D'oh

Vincent Van Stop

Dickasso

Leonardo Douchevinci

Jackson Pudlick(Repeat? Sorry)

Frank Lloyd Wrong

11:30 pm November, 19 ma said...

"The Stink in Ink"

-crazy-sexy-douche

11:41 pm November, 19 Steve L. said...

in honor of his gangster wannabe douchiness, i shall call him pooed-lum.

11:45 pm November, 19 Steve L. said...

gay-ass kid

11:46 pm November, 19 Leopud Bloom said...

Quetzalscrotl.

11:47 pm November, 19 Steve L. said...

i'm trying to make a pun based on the word "made" but i'm running low on ideas. fuck.

11:50 pm November, 19 HusslinHoosier said...

Unemployable Al?

I think some of his tats leaked onto Jezeble's left teton.

12:00 am November, 20 Ryan said...

How about "Miami Stink"

12:11 am November, 20 Horace Dangleballs said...

The Crayola Kid

12:32 am November, 20 Bob said...

The Tainttoo.

12:32 am November, 20 notadouche said...

Spiderpud.

12:41 am November, 20 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Iggy Poop

1:00 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

canvas 'bag

because his body is a canvas. get it. shoot me now.

Sincerely,
Whattabagger!

1:15 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Crayolabag

1:15 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Magic Barker

1:16 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Shartie

1:17 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Poo Poo Platter

1:18 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Bagpack

1:19 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Looks as if an architect puke shit all over him…

1:20 am November, 20 pv1 said...

Meh, I give up…

1:24 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

ferret scrote

1:32 am November, 20 Publius Choadius Naso said...

Hahahaha!!! "Kaleidoscrote!" Nice!!!

1:36 am November, 20 Robodouche said...

The Ed Hardouche.

1:46 am November, 20 Dunkin Scrotenuts said...

POODLUM!

1:49 am November, 20 IdahoHottPotato said...

The Doodlebug

2:13 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

Game over… it's "Wretch-a-Sketch" FTW!! Well done, Baron.

2:16 am November, 20 Summer's Eve said...

Hardy McSkinshirt

Ed Hardy Stalker #367

Living Flash or simply Flash
(Tattoo term there: for those ignorant of the ink world, a flash is a sheet of designs from which you can choose. Artists sell their designs that way. Hardy made part of his fortune selling Sailor Jerry's designs that way.)

2:26 am November, 20 David said...

yeah wretch a sketch is good

2:33 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

Taintball

2:35 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

Inky McDoucheville

3:28 am November, 20 Blind Squirrel said...

Hep C Patient, if we're lucky

3:59 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

That IS Travis Barker! No? Well, he should be on here with that fine wife he had…what a DB.

4:10 am November, 20 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

PhoenixPharts 'Bag

–VS

4:15 am November, 20 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

also, Leopud Bloom at 3:46pm, excellent. sirrah. Better spelt
"Queztalscrotlotl" imho but. as it was, still had me spitting stuff on my monitor.

–VS

4:29 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

The no federal dollars to pay for tattoo removal scrote

4:30 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

The no federal dollars to pay for tattoo removal scrote

4:35 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

The i can't handle my Hypotrichosis so i got tattoos scrote

4:40 am November, 20 El-douche-orado said...

Wretch-A-Sketch

Because he makes me want to wretch, and I just want to shake the crap out of him.

4:53 am November, 20 a choadwork orange said...

The Cystine Nipple

5:00 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

Travesty Barker or Dink 182

5:12 am November, 20 El Caganer said...

Hoodlam Hank

5:13 am November, 20 El Caganer said...

Billy Badd Ink

5:24 am November, 20 El Queso said...

@Wheezer: heheheheheheh. Even better! Well played. [golf clap]

5:39 am November, 20 Wheezer said...

Courtesy of sportswriter Rick Reilly: The Human Bathroom Stall

"That's the unfortunate thing about tattoo guns: no delete key."

@El Queso –

You're welcome. : )

5:56 am November, 20 Captain Obvious said...

DoucheToo

TatPubes

Still a Virgin Bag

Unemployabag

Tat in the hat bag

6:21 am November, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Jeez. Best thread this month.

I just came back to catch up and almost snorted out my Kodiak right through my left nostril.

Goolo-isms. Always a treat.

6:30 am November, 20 DarkSock said...

Baron Von Goolo is The Great White Snark….We're gonna need a bigger scrote…

7:27 am November, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I like "Nipple McStipple". Fuckin' hilarious.

8:46 am November, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

OKAY, late to the game as often, but I submit

OSTOMYBAG, for that generous pile of slithering poo.

Some douchebags are so awful, so end-stage, they can only be the poo itself, not just the smell.

But I'll take Troy's "Scribbles" just because it reminds me of Scrabble and the fun of making up words with squares. ANd this guy is a made-up whack if ever there was one.

9:37 am November, 20 miss leigh said...

Hooddouche? and has anyone mentioned that the girlie is wearing cheetah print not zebra?

10:07 am November, 20 Anonymous said...

Cuttlefish

Regards,
Douche Pitt

12:43 pm November, 20 Taintball said...

Name: Jezebel

Turn-Ons: mistakes and failures

Turn-Offs: self-respect, planning for the future.

1:06 pm November, 20 ImageWrangler said...

Stick 180-Poo FTW.

1:13 pm November, 20 ImageWrangler said...

The best I could come up with is "Unemployed Bag"

1:35 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Uber scrote who oozes douche ink with every fibre of his miserable being…I give you CUTTLEFISH.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

1:52 pm November, 20 Moby Douche said...

For you lovers of classic vade mecum, I present to you the Queequeg Scrote

2:18 pm November, 20 atomed said...

Dr. Douchelove

3:03 pm November, 20 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Sorest Rump

3:04 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Mistake-a-douche 182

OR

Doodle-Scrote 182

lol @ the "wretch-a-sketch"

I'm sure Travis Parker feels ashamed that he has inspired a shittier version of himself

3:06 pm November, 20 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Dr. DB w/

Color Me Bag FTW

Fuck!

3:11 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

"The body is my palette, my brain a blank canvas"

3:11 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

"The body is my palette, my brain a blank canvas"

5:12 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

She's hates her Dad Douche.
The perfect guy to cause a raucous at a family thanksgiving.
I'd pay to see Jezebel's brothers bouncing this guys head off the driveway.

5:12 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Stink 180 Poo! HAHAHAHAHA!

5:25 pm November, 20 Armz said...

BARKER BAG! come on!!!

5:31 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Travis……for obvious reasons……

5:54 pm November, 20 Anonymous said...

Ball licker Bob

7:30 pm November, 20 Douches Wild said...

HOODLAME!

This dudes douchey name is "Hoodlame" and he is the drummer for Broke-177…that's the corresponding number for 2 dudes who get down on all fours and lick eachothers taint…

8:53 pm November, 20 BK Webb said...

Ruby Throated Hoodlom Bag

10:52 pm November, 20 Nozzle said...

Silly Putty Skin

11:24 pm November, 20 Wheezer said...

Bazooka Joke

11:26 pm November, 20 Wheezer said...

Cracka Jack No-Prize

(comment co-sponsored by Marvel Comics Group™)

1:02 am November, 21 Anonymous said...

The 'Bag Man on Canvas

1:12 am November, 21 Anonymous said...

Doodlebag, FTW.

=^D

1:31 am November, 21 Douche Bagelo said...

Doodlebag

or

Bagkuza

1:33 am November, 21 Douche Bagelo said...

@Anon 5:12 Great minds….

2:24 am November, 21 viciousskrink said...

xcore-bag.
obviously.

2:59 am November, 21 Doo Schnozzle said...

"My ink weighs more than me" bag.

How about "Hymie Bag" in honor of his KAOS tat…you remember Hymie…the robot from KAOS on "Get Smart"…'cause, like Hymie, there's no way this guy's human with all that ink in him.

Blech.

6:59 am November, 21 Bagger Vance said...

Doodles

7:30 am November, 21 Charles Krug, 3rd Viscount of Leicester said...

Facetat Fail Boy

6:53 pm November, 21 David The Douchehunter said...

i mean this isnt just any random doucher off the streets, this is Travis Barker, the King douche himself, His royal Doucheness, Il Douchee…

7:48 pm November, 21 Anonymous said...

Vincent Van Poo

7:50 pm November, 21 Anonymous said...

Michel-douche-angelo

9:46 pm November, 21 watsurname said...

If you'll notice his tat's are clearly contagious — notice boob-tat— I think his moniker should be "H1-N-douche"

10:04 pm November, 21 Wheezer said...

His ears tell me that Scribbles/Wretch-a-Sketch is a Captain America fan.

I found his soulmate – the yin to his yang (if the "shield" colors mean anything).

5:29 am November, 22 Douche Bagelo said...

Joey Bagascroatenuts?

5:31 am November, 22 Douche Bagelo said...

Bagstract art?

5:36 am November, 22 Douche Bagelo said...

Taint by Numbers?

Finger taint

Peek a boo, I see poo

4:20 am November, 23 Anonymous said...

Dirt mcflirt

8:13 am November, 23 Anonymous said...

dumbass

4:26 pm November, 23 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Twink 182

9:09 pm November, 23 Wheezer said...

"Weekly Winner"

9:57 pm November, 23 Anonymous said...

While I didn't vote, I have to say there were many a good name. I particularly liked Quequegbag and the Illustrated Bag, but damn…if Wretch-a-Sketch doesn't get my ass on the floor in stitches. Good f'ing choice.

11:18 pm November, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

The only person that can get away with a head tattoo is Bam Bam Bigelow. And he's dead. Although I am working on a voodoo spell to raise him from the dead so he can kick the arse of my vote, Wretch-a-Sketch, from Asbury Park to Staten Island and back again.

7:05 am November, 24 Dr. Douchelittle said...

Proof that the Human species is devolving.

10:26 pm November, 30 Anonymous said...

Fuckface McBaggins

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