Friday, November 27, 2009

Where's Waldouche? Chinpube Edition


Somewhere in this pic of an extremely expensive first date hott with a cute little bump-nose, I’ve carefully hidden a chin-pube swirling hat wearing asshat.

Look closely.

Can you find him?

# posted by douchebag1
8:14 pm November, 27 Wheezer said...

Wow, what a cutie! Great legs, too.

8:45 pm November, 27 Taintball said...

I would probably dress up like that douche for a chance to walk through her wake.

8:50 pm November, 27 Justin said...

I'd like to take a baseball bat right to that guys hairy hei matau.

8:53 pm November, 27 Canadouche. said...

I don't think she is with him. He with beret tilt, queer vest, shaved head, fruity goose mix, and the new champion pattern of chin strap/pube will cause her to leave with her lusciousness and boobies.

He will leave with Raoul his lover standing behind her and shave him a designer dirty sanchez. After a stop for a late night feast of Taco Bell.

She it too hot to be in a gay bar.

8:58 pm November, 27 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I think I spotted the Waldouche…is that the asshat wear sunglasses inside, at night? Could that be him?

9:03 pm November, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I guess he thinks the chin pubes make him go faster? Isn't that why he probably has flames on his moped too?

9:08 pm November, 27 Troy Tempest said...

Talk about an expensive looking date. Ick.

Reminds me of one of the few blind dates I ever went on. She looked a bit like the blonde in the post below.

We agreed to meet for dinner at a specific restaurant at a specific time. It was an expensive restaurant, but a REALLY good restaurant, and I was looking forward to sampling their food, and having a wonderful time with a possibly wonderful person. She certainly left nice phone messages, so I was looking forward to meeting her.

She showed up 1/2 an hour late. In a little black dress nylons and heels. Nice. She didn't offer any apologies for being really late. We made small talk and I poured some wine for her from the bottle I had blown through half of waiting for her. She said she didn't like red wine, said she wanted Champagne, and ordered a bottle. I grumbled something about Champagne being an after dinner drink, but hey – good champagne is good champagne, right? What's $110 between strangers?

We ordered dinner. I ordered one of the specials – I think it was ostrich or something funky. She ordered steak and potatoes with a side salad. She ate the salad, a few bites of the steak and none of the taters, announced she was done, and went to the bathroom, presumably to puke it all up.

When she came back she said we should go to some expensive club – I knew it was the kind that has deafening music – the kind that goes

DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF

or

UNtse UNtse UNtse UNtse

and you can't hear yourself think.

I wasn't that interested. She asked why. I said my idea of a good time on a first date was good conversation and lots of it. She said her idea of a good time was partying at a club with her friends.

So, I just blew her away and said "OK – well, have fun. See ya."

"wuh?"

"Well, you said you want to go party with your friends. I just spent way too much money on a meal I consider adequate but not brilliant, with a newly met dinner companion who thinks she's being intellectual when she says "irregardless". You haven't met my eyes for more than 2 seconds all evening, but that's still ten times the length of your attention span. So, in my opinion, you wandering off to be with your buddies is probably a good idea. You don't seem to find me appealing, and I think you're a bit of a spoiled ill-mannered bore. So, yes, you should go play with your friends."

She just got all pissed off and walked out.

I felt pretty good for that. It was one of the few times I could sense DANGER WILL ROBINSON and used my big head to avoid heartache, as opposed to thinking with my little head and courting disaster.

9:48 pm November, 27 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

@Troy Tempest

Similar story here. Substitute steak with duck. Substitute club with my dirty skankhole apartment.
Substitute reasonably good-looking blond with fuccin scary grunge-chick.

Ok maybe not so similar.

@Justin – I want to learn the art of the witty link. Teach me, master.

10:09 pm November, 27 Anti-douche said...

@ Troy:

Just as well. The little head wouldn't have had a chance to wear its hat with her anyway.

Been there. Walked out.

@ chick in pic:

yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

10:21 pm November, 27 Bob said...

I know there is a God. Yes, big-G God. I know this, because only a Divine Creator could possibly have made something so purely awesome as Ms. Expensive First Date there. Know why she's an expensive first date? Because she can fucking well afford to be, and she knows it, that's why.

I would personally and individually inform an orphanage full of handicapped children that there was no Santa Claus, just for the chance to inhale her perfumed wake for 10 seconds and she walked past me in either disgust or indifference.

12:08 am November, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Hector

Go
here

12:15 am November, 28 notadouche said...

It's like his chin is looking for a part in the new ninja assassin movie.

1:05 am November, 28 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

I can't find him!! Damn…. DB1, you make 'em too hard sometimes.

ASvB

2:15 am November, 28 pv1 said...

I would sell my left nut and use that money to buy her a $500 bottle of Goose.

2:16 am November, 28 pv1 said...

I think we have here the front runner for the Most Expensive Date '09.

2:17 am November, 28 pv1 said...

I guess it would cost me a lung, a kidney, and my firstborn just to hold hands with her…

2:26 am November, 28 Whoop-di-douche said...

She is one screamin' Hott Chick!

4:34 am November, 28 DarkSock said...

Jeez lookit the cocaine vacuum on that pricey jizz sump.

NottaHott.

Paint her green, stick her on a broom, and she'd be off after the first Kansas virgin's little dog she could find.

I got her flying monkey, riiiiight here.

9:49 am November, 28 Steve L. said...

her price as an expensive first date hott is knocked down by about 50 bucks just because of that bump nose.

yeah i'm feeling generous today.

10:09 am November, 28 Scroteophobic said...

I think the smile is a little forced – possibly because she is thinking "Fucking hell, I forgot how heavy this damn bracelet was. I can't even stand up straight with it on"

5:02 pm November, 29 Anonymous said...

so funny to read commentary while glancing and boom theres the chin strap

3:48 am November, 30 Whoop-di-douche said...

So funny to see men adopting chin-strap penguins' attire to look douchey. It's be a lot more amusing if they used rock-hopper or macaroni penguin head feathers to make a statement.

She's a delish dish o matter how you eat it.

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