Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ask DB1: Is The Grieco Virus Associative?


—-
DB1,

Can one become a douchebag by association?

For example, Bagpoleon has other males that, for some unknown reason, want to be associated with him or be in his presence. Does that automatically make them douches as well? We know second-hand smoke can kill too but does the same hold for the Grieco virus?

Just wondering.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

—-

The Grieco virus travels socially as well as through coital embrace, leaping from a primary ‘bag virus carrier to his “bros” almost as easily as to the belly poochettes.

Take Timmy here, pictured on the right. Happy go lucky. He just wants to look at Cindy’s luscious flesh pillow boobie phantasmagores. Yet note the “Abercrombie and Fitch,” chin sprout, and leather S&M watch. Timmy is already plagued by exposure to Dell’s chin pube virus. He is quickly becoming ‘bag. And, as such, must not be spared the mock.

# posted by douchebag1
5:36 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Sweet delicious boobies!

5:37 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

Early this past Summer, I was surfing through the channels and I caught the last part of the first Twilight movie. Miraculously, I did not fall asleep before the end credits rolled. Unfortunately, precisely one week later, I developed a lesion in my anus.

The lesson learned?

I am now a homosexual by association.

Hey Army of Doucheness, can you come over here and comfort me?

5:39 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

Speaking of shameful acts… not that there’s anything wrong with them, I am somewhat befuddled by my following admission a few weeks ago:

"If Mr. White were to be bitten by a viper on his shoulder, I would gladly suck all the poison out through his wiener."

DB1 and his damn Association rants have me all confused.

5:39 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Just wanna poke him in his left eye again, just harder this time.

5:48 pm December, 3 Anonymous 3:16 said...

DB1 – I think the simplest explanation is that it IS A VIRUS! Apparently, and airborne one which can infect through simple exposure, even outside of bodily fluid exchange or contact…

5:49 pm December, 3 pv1 said...

Holy cleavite, Batman!

5:53 pm December, 3 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Weekend at Bernies meets…

oh hell, BOOBIES!

6:02 pm December, 3 Mr. White said...

@crucial

You better not be rescinding the offer, because I'm taunting some vipers right now…

OW! SHIT!

So, um…Crucial…?

6:11 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Capital red "V" in the background symbolizes the pure and chaste chalice, or the womb if you will, represented by Cindy's virgin boobie-suckle here. Enlightenment would surely be found betwixt her luscious thighs, or in the holiest of cleavite that is on display.

Sadly, though, such enlightement would be wasted away unnoticed, as Dell recounted to Timmy the following morning that he "nutted in that bitch's poon, bra! She fuckin' cried n'shit afterward, tho. Whatev. Let's go play PS3 in my mom's basement."

6:17 pm December, 3 Holden Douchefield said...

Boobies
and see-through cocktail skirts
revealing black panties and tan suckle thigh
Ignore chin-dribble and Fitch-in-training
BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES

6:18 pm December, 3 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Cindy is wearing the greatest dress ever made. Lazy-eyed Dell really needs to lay off the cheeba and the Long BEach wanna be attire.

And boobies.

6:18 pm December, 3 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Dear Miss Boobies,

Boobies.

Sincerely,

The Boob Lover formerly known as S Cubed

6:20 pm December, 3 Some chin-pubed douche named Del said...

Dammit, there's only on "L" in Del! Get it right, god dammit!

6:21 pm December, 3 El Caganer said...

I believe I have something important to add here

Booobies!!!!

6:25 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

*schlurp,schlurp,schlurp*

Huh… wha… did someone say something?

*schlurp,schlurp,schlurp*

6:31 pm December, 3 massengill said...

I know her, her name is Helen as in "Helen with the melons."

6:51 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Pffffff I'm insulted by the poor selection of bags tht have been popping up! Do more research.. Till then I'm gonna sit back on my thrown getting fed grapes in my douchie crown!!! SMOOT da champ!!

6:54 pm December, 3 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Wow, this guy is proud to be a guido.

6:55 pm December, 3 Southern Scrotic said...

I see a URC in that boy's future.

And I see BOOBIES in my (wet) dreams.

6:57 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Dear clothing store where my wife shops,

Please start selling dresses like this one–and ONLY dresses like this one. Your immediate action in this matter is requested.

Sincerely,
Bagnonymous

PS. It wouldn't hurt if you offered free BJ seminars with a purchase of $50 or more. I'm just sayin'.

7:17 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Agreed and BOOBIES. Could we have a contender to Mrs. Boobie Librarian Teal Hott?

At any rate she's the mounds of the day winner.

7:41 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

I have a sudden hankering for one of these.

7:42 pm December, 3 Jean Claude Van Douche said...

This is actually a pic of the 'Jeff Dunhambag'…note how the male on the right displays his overwhelming insecurities by shoving his tentacle up an innocent bystander's anus and forcing said bystander to put on a ridiculously giant mandana and rub his human anal-puppet against any and all fresh flesh pillows in the vicinity.

In other words…everyday average hott bewbs!

7:44 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

They're a bit uneven, but hey, isn't that what makes them unique?

8:21 pm December, 3 Troy Tempest said...

I remember these two girls in high school. One was AMPLY endowed, the other was quite petite.

One day they appeared in T-shirts.

Girl with e Big Bewbies?

Her shirt said "MILK DUDS".

The girl from the teeny titty committee?

Her shirt said "RAISINETTES".

I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to throw up.

Cindy here has MILK DUDS.

8:31 pm December, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Only Kevin is immune.

8:33 pm December, 3 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

I have waited all feccin day for friday ass pear, but it is Thursday. God I hate today. Boobies.

8:38 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

I would like to Salma her Hayeks

9:00 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

She lactates bourbon.

10:16 pm December, 3 bourbon bill said...

@darksock

Even in my dreams I haven't heard of anything so beautiful.

10:24 pm December, 3 Mark it Eight, Douche said...

Holy mammary glands, Batman.

12:41 am December, 4 Bob said...

It's such a shame when you see someone still in the early stages of the Virus. It's possible, albeit quite unlikely, that he could be saved. But first they have to want treatment, they have to acknowledge the sickness. Which is why we mock, people. If he's not mocked hard, and often, how else will he see the dangers of the path he's on until it's too late?

Oh, and also, Emerson Biguns.

1:09 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

"Luscious flesh pillow boobie phantasmagores."

And how.

I would cut off my own man-missle with a rusty spoon for the mere opportunity to have all my skin stipped off of me, tanned, and sewn into a pair of sequined Colin Stuart wedge heels that Cindy buys from Vicoria's Secret because their "sooooo cute" (and on sale), then never wears and end up being forgoten about in the back of her closet even after she moves out of her dorm so they end up at Goodwill where they're bought and worn by a 70 lb. meth addict with eczema and foot fungus that smells like blood sausage vomit in the hot sun.

1:10 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Yep, it's tube sock time.

3:49 am December, 4 Mr. Biggs said...

Oooh I know this one well. A girlfriend was telling me I should wear some accessories to be more attractive to women, like a bead necklace. My keen sense of smell picked up douche-stank a mile away from that one, and I quickly responded by referring her to this website.

Swift response to such douchery is key to stopping the plague.

5:15 am December, 4 Steve L. said...

if the Grieco virus isn't associative, it wouldn't be called a virus now would it?

ding!

7:59 am December, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

It is a fact that when the Grieco virus is cloven in cleavite, it will mutate with a sneeze of the H1N1 virus and become a new variety of even harsher taint: the Ho1FineSwine virus.

11:48 am December, 4 teh abominable snowdouche said...

Is that thing in the middle a human being?!

Silly me.

2:14 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

I'm speechless.

Okay, no I'm not. Please, if you all are so inclined provide me references where there is a woman this fucking beautiful with…someone like him.

Here's my problem: he's not an over the top douchebag. He's just some fucking goober leaning on a woman who's beauty should obliterate his sorry ass for even touching her. I mean, c'mon. Peitro, I understand, wanna-be Arnie-cholo fuckhead from the 'burbs I can't get my head around.

I mean LOOK AT HER. And by look at her, I mean tear that teasing dress off and show her that no one with chin pubes like that knows how to…

2:14 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

I'm speechless.

Okay, no I'm not. Please, if you all are so inclined provide me references where there is a woman this fucking beautiful with…someone like him.

Here's my problem: he's not an over the top douchebag. He's just some fucking goober leaning on a woman who's beauty should obliterate his sorry ass for even touching her. I mean, c'mon. Peitro, I understand, wanna-be Arnie-cholo fuckhead from the 'burbs I can't get my head around.

I mean LOOK AT HER. And by look at her, I mean tear that teasing dress off and show her that no one with chin pubes like that knows how to…

3:54 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Yes, the Grieco virus has mutated into the airborne variety.

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