Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Breaking: Criss Angel Still Out There, Still Douchey, Still Pulling Ridiculous Hotts


The magic words are: Poola Poola Poola.

# posted by douchebag1
9:28 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

She is magic to my groin.

9:33 pm December, 2 Captain Bringdown said...

The disembodied head of Frank from Payroll approves of Vague Ethnic Hott.

9:34 pm December, 2 skid said...

Boobies!!! Perfect tan Boobies!!!

9:37 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

Are you kidding? Perfect tan EVERYTHING! Love those American-watered-down Indian babes.

9:39 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

His chin is shaped like two balls in a sack, probably because that's what's usually resting there.

9:40 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

Hott hall of fame or whatever I now can't think good. Too much hott to describe. Must cold shower. Good day sirs!

9:43 pm December, 2 Wheezer said...

Does her neckchain actually have an 'H' on it? As if we needed the help to rate her at HOTT.

Criss' benwah bling needs to be shoved back up his ass after it's first been wrapped around his neck. Of course he'd like it – David Carradine taught him that trick.

Too soon?

9:46 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

Michael Jackson, back from the dead with his Liberian Girl???

(And no, Wheez, it ain't too motherfuckin' soon.)

9:50 pm December, 2 Salmon said...

She can poola, poola, poola my package anytime she wants!

9:50 pm December, 2 skid said...

Hall of hott and maybe another pic of her please.

9:55 pm December, 2 The Desert Douchehunter said...

@ Wheezer

Hell, it wasn't too soon the day that died. You keep on with your bad self.

Anyway, Criss, besides being unable to spell, you are proof that you can have no talent, no education and look like something that fell out of the rear-end of a hippopotamus and still there will be hotts that will hang around with you only because you have money.

America, gotta love this country!

Now, go stick your head in one of Sigfreid and Roy's lions already you asshat!

9:59 pm December, 2 The Desert Douchehunter said...

Oh, and congratulations Criss. Your show is officially the worst piece-of-shit, waste-of-time on the Vegas strip. Why don't you tattoo that on your forehead for posterity. Then you won't have to tell people what you used to do 10 years ago before you started asking people if they would like fries with their order for a living.

10:00 pm December, 2 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I would murder my grandmother and stuff her mutilated, chopped-up corpse into a suitcase that I stole from a hobo just for the chance to clean her toilet bowl with my tongue.

10:00 pm December, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Delta 14 niner are we cleared to com in hot?

Roger that Bravo 337.

Confirm coordinates Delta 14 niner.

Grid coordinates 00187659 by 223467 Bravo 337

Roger that delta 14 niner. Releasing MOAB. Second pass will mop up any bad guys willie peter.

10:06 pm December, 2 Bob said...

I saw this pic with that perfect, absolutely incredible hott, stared for a second, and immediately went upstairs and slapped my wife.

10:10 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

can criss angel win another award this year? he deserves something, maybe even a repeat win?

10:17 pm December, 2 pv1 said...

I would let her pull the rabbit out of my hat.

10:22 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

I'd stuff her in a box and saw her in half before a live audience.

And she'd still be hott.

10:23 pm December, 2 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Holy fucking cleavage, Batman! I should be arrested for the vile thoughts running through my head right now.

And his chin looks like a shaved ball sack.

10:30 pm December, 2 Filthy McBaggin' said...

Can't he hurry up already and die of an Oxycontin overdose?

10:36 pm December, 2 Mitch Cumstein said...

She's Sriracha Hot.

10:39 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

He's smegma douche.

10:40 pm December, 2 Mr. White said...

Criss is sporting some pretty supple side boob himself, there. At least do some fucking push ups if you're going to be not-buttoned-shirt guy, asshole.

She also needs to do some push ups. On top of me.

10:43 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

Is that a cameltoe on her armpit-vag? Soooo lickable…

(Thankfully she's this hot– otherwise we'd have to actually look at what's-his-smuck.)

10:45 pm December, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Would it make me a magician if a pulled that loose thread on her left boobie and make her dress dissapear?

10:50 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

David Pooperfield…

-FrannyBeanz

10:58 pm December, 2 Austin Powers' Teeth said...

That's a man, baby! Yeah!

11:03 pm December, 2 Mitch Cumstein said...

I celebrate her entire catalog. And by catalog, I mean her fierce rack.

11:15 pm December, 2 End the Haberdouchery said...

The magician reminds me to try yelling "Abra Cadabra!" next time I finish taking it to the wife.

11:18 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

Paging Penelope Cruz,
Paging Penelope Cruz,

your little sister is about to get douched.

… and not in the good way.

11:29 pm December, 2 HusslinHoosier said...

Can we officially declare Crass Angel "Douche Enemy Number One". He is lord of all poo. My only explanation for this picture is he promised to magic a new kidney for her dieing littler brother in Mumbai.

11:31 pm December, 2 HusslinHoosier said...

Edit above dying not dieing. Picture scrambled my spell neurons.

12:38 am December, 3 Anonymous said...

Ladies and gentleman without question hall of hotttttt. And possibly top 3 in hottest ever on this site.Merry christmas and game over.

1:41 am December, 3 Anonymous said...

Wait, erm; 'scuse me.

Camelita? Sweetie? You gots a li'l thread there on the left side of your dress, sugar.

Here, lemme get dat for you.

Okay. All Better!

2:38 am December, 3 Anonne Huntress said...

Hands down, most expensive first date hott of the year.

2:50 am December, 3 Steve L. said...

her smile looks forced. i think major advancements have been achieved from the mock of Criss Angel.

3:54 am December, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Feh. I'll bet she was ten times hotter before the nose job. The upper lip doesn't move naturally because of the abnormal shortening of the cartilage under the tip, not to mention the drastic narrowing of the nostrils, the labial folds don't go they way they should anymore.

Trust me, you go through life with a ridiculous honker like mine, you spend a lot of time studying what can go wrong with rhinoplasty. She also has implants, and a nose job is the plastic surgery gateway drug.

I'm a fan of plastic surgery, actually, If it makes you feel better, do it. But when you come out looking like Latoya Jackson, and have all the facial movement of Joan Rivers, ur doin it vurry, vurry rong.

But, again, I can tell you that her "before" had to be incredible.

And the 'after' of Criss Angel meeting my Creme Brulee torch will be equally incredible.

3:55 am December, 3 ImageWrangler said...

I'm still looking for Piss Angel in this picture. I don't see any guy in this picture. I see a hott, oh yeah, definitely see a hott, but fail to see any man in this pic. Maybe he made himself disappear… into her cleavage.

4:33 am December, 3 DarkSock said...

Criss Anal needs a fuccen mop in his hands at all times because he's about the most janitor-lookin' mutherfucker I've ever seen in my life. That would shoo away the Hotts, like flies off a bleach-türd.

7:41 am December, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

In the words of the immortal Donkster, she is "quality ass." I may also add she is quality tits, face and hair.

And then, there are the quality assholes. Like magic, they appear with the quality ass.

It's all good for a big hee haw, and whatever poola poola poola means,

1:00 pm December, 3 Hermanos Rodriguez said...

She obviously learned how to do her make up from Tammy Fay Baker.

2:46 pm December, 3 Troy Tempest said...

I agree with Medusa: nose job. Not sure about the implants, though – She might have large naturals that are being pushed up by some wired under-bra. Not sure.

I agree, if she sported the beak she was born with, she'd still be a megahott – her eyes, her jaw line, her cheek structure, her lovely brows – she'd be a hottie with most any "within the range of normal" proboscis.

And Criss? Well, in a few minutes I'm going to go the washroom and make a poo angel and call it Criss, because he is. A Poo Angel.

6:00 pm December, 3 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Damn, check out that Adam's Apple!

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