Wednesday, December 9, 2009

HCwDB of the Year: Bracket 2

Round two of your HCwDB of the Year semifinalists:

HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #1 (Bracket 2): Crimson Ted

From all the way back in March, the toxic crimson taint of British club promoter and leggy blonde fondler Crimson Ted remains a lip sore on our collective psyches.

And lets not forget Ted’s mugging of Hot Moms, Ted’s Smells Like Poo ass pear moment, Ted’s Crimsplosion and Ted’s Waldouche moment.

And Crimson Celtic.

And, of course, Reader Mike’s historically imporant Ted Crimsometer.

Ted is a legend of turd crap.

He brings shame to the land of Doctor Who and Fawlty Towers. Hitting on what few hott British girls there are, he is a worthy pollutant indeed.

HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #2 (Bracket 2): E-Blo and Britney

What more can be said about the supersonic douchey stare of the legendary Electric Blight Orchestra?

E-Blo’s original pic is from early June, but what a run of pics. For E-Blo’s empty blankness reflects the vacancy of our culture and the crisis of our souls.

The vacant stare is legend: Pics 2, 3, 4, 5 6, 7, 8 and, of course, his truly inflated zombie-stare douchosity in pic 9.

This is uber-douchosity in presence of hot chick on a massive and overwhelming scale.

E-Blo is already legend.

But does he have what it takes to carry his hotts to the Finals?

HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #3 (Bracket 2): Wretch-a-Sketch and Jezebel

Our most recent Monthly winner, the Wretch-a-Sketch brings only two pics of hottie/douchey Travis Barker inspired poofoolery to the game.

But his hat tilt, sideways hand gesture and extreme tattbaggery in presence of Zebra Hottness all speak to a worthy Monthly winner.

Pic #2 only increases the hotte/douchey dialectics.

Do not discount the mockworthiness of the Scribbler.

This is classic West Coast skater “indie band” douche.

Just as potently toxic as Jerz Pud.

Note the undie poke.

If that doesn’t inflame the gonads of an angry penguin, then I don’t know what.

But lets not forget our fourth finalist…

HCwDB of the Year Semi-Finalist #4 (Bracket 2): The Poopaloompa

One pic. Officially confirmed as real.

Just one pic of uber-orange and an average, cornfed but sweet Jane.

But that was all it took to make it to the yearly.

Well, there was a second pic. But it was this pic that make the Poopster legend.

Do not let the Poopaloompa’s nomination in the Orangest Orange category sway you from your vote. In the Yearly you must factor in dialectic. Or the fact The Poopaloompa is Satan.

Which of these four couplings most embodies the clash of cultural trainwreck in the crisis of masculinity and name-brand spectacle, with the tastiness of the boobie hottie suckle thigh?

Vote for your second finalist couple, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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