Monday, December 14, 2009

Hottest Hott of the Year (Bracket 1)

The 2009 Douchie Awards continue with the category of Hottest Hott of the Year, with the biggie, the 2009 HCwDB of the Year, on tap for tomorrow.

(EDIT: Due to requests for other hott considerations, this will be Bracket 1 of 2. The second bracket will run on Wednesday)

Here’s your finalists:

Hottest Hott of the Year Finalist #1: Waxy McBrow’s Rachelle

From early May, Rachelle’s brunette curvy perfection cannot be understated, nor underdroolified.

Enjoy the curves in pics #2 and #3: Waxy and Goose and Waxy and Co.

Rachelle is too hott to be a Girl Next Door. Her smile causes pigeons to go into spontaneous molting. Her wrist tasks me to lick it uncontrollably.

Waxy McBrow is all that reeks of East Coast Douchery.

But Waxy is not up for this 2009 Douchie Award.

Rachelle, and her lively assets, are. And they are worthy indeed.

But enough to win 2009 Hottest Hott of the Year? Vegas has her at a solid 3:1. But then there’s …

Hottest Hott of the Year Finalist #2: The Bagpoleon’s Josephine

Appearing in early November and winning a Weekly, The Bagpoleon Complex’s Josephine remains a wonder of curvaceous natural perfection.

And even though Bagpoleon wrote in to bitch, we must honor his hott with a nomination.

Josephine’s second pic shows off her curves with even more aplomb.

And by aplomb, I mean aboobies.

While ‘Bagpoleon displays the dreaded Groin shave Reveal (GSR) and writes in with annoying douche-mail, he is not what is in consideration here.

Instead, we ponder Josephine. And 19th Century boobie literature.

Hottest Hott of the Year Finalist #3: Crabs McGee’s Minnie Von Shtup

Paid to Pose?

Perhaps.

But Minnie Von Shtup’s blank expression and perfect body have the angelic hymn of humpty hump.

She is the pouty ‘tude of art school dropout who gets her Cosmos for free and every door held open for her for twenty years.

And then she’s pissed when the gravy train slows down at 36.

But for now, Minnie is all that is golden about suckle thigh.

While Crabs McGee, like Bagpoleon, shows off his shorn testes in awful ways.

But this is about Minnie.

Can she fire up enough fantasies to both alert Freud and win the Hottest Hott category? There’s one more finalist to go:

Hottest Hott of the Year Finalist #4: Bucky’s Kathy Hott

It was either Kathy or Charleez for the final slot, and I let personal brunette biases (and perfect smile) sway me. Although it could’ve gone either way.

Kathy’s first party pics were here and here, and she made an immediate “Woo! Hottie” impression.

Then came her run with Bucky here, with Bucky’s crazy skillz. The Pain is Real. Buckster partys. And Buckster celebratin’.

Overly tanned?

Perhaps.

Glorious in every bitable way?

Most certainly.

This is always the hardest category of the Douchie Awards to select four finalists from, as hottness is so varied and suckle thigh. And while I tried not to let my preference for brunettes who’d look great in librarian glasses bias me, I didn’t quite succeed.

Hotterable mention to The Velvet Flog’s Denise who almost made it into this category. Because the DB1 wants to lick her kneecaps. ScroTep’s outrageously tasty hottie could’ve made the cut. I also wanted to include Grad School Melissa, but the plump (if highly gnawable) arm was just not enough.

So them’s your four. Four enter. Only one can be Hottest Hott of the Year.

Vote now.

# posted by douchebag1

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