Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Jake Whatupguy says, "What up, Guy?"


Jake Whatupguy gets asked about his strange last name all the time.

Turns out it’s Scotch-Romanian.

# posted by douchebag1
9:48 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

Is that the rarely seen douche language?

9:49 pm December, 1 Mr. White said...

Allow me to add this very articulate and thought-provoking comment on this picture:

AAUUGUGHHHHH SHE'S PRETTY YUMMY YUMMY SMILE PRETTY BOOBS AAUGHHDSHGHHH!

9:49 pm December, 1 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Guy-liner and a Maiden t-shirt? Somebody needs to wash this douche's mouth out with buckshot.

9:49 pm December, 1 jonezy said...

looks like an 80s party to me with the attire she is wearing, however, her smile would melt my face like a death shredding solo from Dave Murray

9:50 pm December, 1 ma said...

Yum! Michelle-Trachtenberg-judeo hott!

-crazy-sexy-douche

9:51 pm December, 1 Mr. White said...

And since brought it up with his T-shirt, I would let Eddie savagely violate me with the end of his guitar while whispering drooling, stench-ridden sweet nothings in my ear just for a chance to lick the Chinese sweatshop worker who sewed her off the shoulder top.

9:52 pm December, 1 boatbutter said...

Mr. White wins. Next pic please DB1.

9:55 pm December, 1 Josh said...

I like her.

9:59 pm December, 1 End the Haberdouchery said...

She is delightful.

I would take over Tim's job pleasuring animals in the petting zoo for a week if it meant that I could spend just one night outside her window making white noise so she could sleep soundly through the night.

Sweet dreams my dear. Now here is my impression of songs of the humpback whale…

10:01 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

As per the edict that was hewn into tablets of the HCwDB bi-laws, Section 508.3.2.1b, regarding the posting of hotts such as this specimen of perfection, I hereby compose the following poem:

Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
She’s so gawdamn hott my pants are suddenly filled with my Elmer’s glue.

10:03 pm December, 1 RedBaronDouche said...

Let him of hath understanding reckon the Number of the Bag for it is a douchebag number….it's number is 2.

10:05 pm December, 1 Pömmelhorse Pümmelfister said...

I can't quit this woman.

10:06 pm December, 1 Ümläüt Smäck Döwn said...

Ö.M.G.

Ï.Ö.B.

B.R.B.

10:07 pm December, 1 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

sweet suckling thigh magnificence from heaven, cleavage divine . . . an ode . . .

oh porcelain skinned brunette from above
allow me to show you the meaning of love
and while we discover the magic of . . . no wait, I can't concentrate with guyliner fuckwad counting out his IQ for me using the only fingers that don't smell like his grandmother's cackhole.

10:08 pm December, 1 G. Gorgeous Clitty said...

Hot damn! She naminipulates my mind!!

What fuccen douche? I see no fuccen douche.

10:10 pm December, 1 The Desert Douchehunter said...

@ Mr. White,

Well played. Circle gets the square and the win.

…and by win, I mean this hott is all that.

10:13 pm December, 1 Doo Schnozzle said...

Does an Iron Maiden shirt drop your douche level one spot?

10:14 pm December, 1 Vin Douchal said...

His brother, Damn Whatupguy asked "Damn, what up , Guy? How in fuckballz did you get Cindy from H.R. to pose with you?"

10:16 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Such celestial beauty I’ve seen not before
For her, my boner’s become a FUCCEN SLAPWHOAR
If I saw her naked
I’d likely fall down dead
From beating my meat into a bloody old sore.

10:18 pm December, 1 Hall of Hott said...

We humbly accept your nomination, dearest brunette hott.

10:19 pm December, 1 Comment deleted said...

This post has been removed by my raging boner.

10:19 pm December, 1 TrikkyMakk said...

As douchey as this guys appears to be he is, unfotunately, wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and so for this pic I have to give the nottadouche pass. I had to think long and hard about this one because the shirt is clearly a recent fabrication and not an original. Granted he should be wearing a Poison shirt though.

10:21 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

Good gravy she's super fucking hot. Bless you and your perfectly formed breasts young lady.

10:22 pm December, 1 Cheadle'bag said...

She is incredible. Dude looks like a douched up version of my old roommate, but I know it's not him cuz he never pulled ass like that.

10:25 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Haiku:

She is very hott
Just my type: cute, boobs, non-bleeth
Nice smile, boobies, yep.

10:31 pm December, 1 DuckSauce said...

This chick is almost perfect, the only thing she is missing is a 10 inch penis.

10:33 pm December, 1 DuckSauce said...

And she only missed that by a couple inches

10:34 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

I would Run To Her Hills and stick my Trooper Where Eagles Dare, before plundering her Aces High at 2 Minutes To Midnight… and I would happily Die With my Boots On.

10:36 pm December, 1 Scrötinger’s Cat said...

I hope her Steve isn’t Harris, because I want to put my Bruce Dickinson in her Janick Gerrs.

Okay, that was just retarded.

10:37 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Hi Doc!

10:39 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

looks like even a dried up corpse like Eddie wants to snack on those luscious bewbs..

I cant blame him.

10:39 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

looks like even a dried up corpse like Eddie wants to snack on those luscious bewbs..

I cant blame him.

10:39 pm December, 1 Bagnonymous said...

Holy hell! God DAMMIT is she gorgeous! DB1, oh great one, you're clearly messing with our collective fucin minds today, running two of the most beautiful non-bleeth Hotts in a row.

All I ask is that you run them head-to-head (nee, cleavite-to-cleavite?) in the Hottest Hott smackdown.

10:43 pm December, 1 DocSauce said...

lol let me correct my name error.

better.

10:44 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Charlotte and the Varlet

10:44 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Run to Her Hills

10:46 pm December, 1 Bagnonymous said...

…Interestingly enough, if you were to Photoshop Aqua Teen Boobie Force in the place of Whatupguy, the girls would be mashing their yummy chesticles together in a smily, happy, passionate embrace.

Oh jeez.. OH..! I think I just soiled myself.

Yes. Yes, I did.

But it was worth it.

10:46 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Blight of Ick-arus

10:47 pm December, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ted really let himself go or is that Bill? Rufus should have never let them out of that damn wormhole. At least one of them managed to keep one of the fair maidens. Next up, Wyld Stallions!

10:47 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Die With Her Boobs On (My Face)

10:48 pm December, 1 Lyndon LaDouche said...

The glow from her perfect skin and winning smile has blinded my retinas.

HOH please boss!

10:48 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Can I Play With Her Boobies

10:49 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Killers

And by that, naturally I mean her boobies.

10:49 pm December, 1 Bagnonymous said...

The Number of the Breast

10:51 pm December, 1 Bagnonymous said...

Hallowed Be Thy Bewbs

10:54 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

The Buttlicker Man

10:55 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

The Pooper

(I am picturing her bending over, showing me her Ass Pear High.)

10:57 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

The Evil That Men Douche

10:57 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

From Here To Her Titty

10:57 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Wow.

The things I would do to her armpit vagina…

Like, sex 'n junk.

11:00 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Where Spread Eagles Are

11:00 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

Dicko McBrainless here probably ended up "pounding the skins" later that evening.

11:00 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Flight of Lickherass

11:01 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Remember To Swallow

11:02 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

GoldenShowerSlave

Now the trick is to figure out…..which one?

11:03 pm December, 1 Bägnönymöüs said...

This fair MÄÏDËN has given me an ÏRÖN böner.

11:03 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Seventh Suck of a Seventh Inch

11:04 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

HooterFeel

11:04 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

The Evil That Men Poo

11:05 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Damnit, I can't keep up with Wheezers metal prowess.

I bow with my devil horns held high, my liege.

11:06 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

For Guyliner Greg here, "UP THE IRONS" is more than just a shout out to Iron Maiden.

Charlotte wonders what keeps happening to her UltraVibe pleasure toys…..

11:07 pm December, 1 portlandouche said...

Hall of Hott. Now.

11:11 pm December, 1 Greta Van SusTurd said...

Okay guys. Settle the fucc down gawdammit!!

Get ahold of yourselves for Lämp's sake. You sound like a bunch of horny little teenage boys that just saw your first tittie…

HOLYFUCCENMUTHURMARYJEEBUSLUCIFUR!!!!

LOOK AT THAT HOTT!!!!!

11:12 pm December, 1 Amanda said...

Guys, she's just average at best. But he's kinda hot.

11:16 pm December, 1 Mitch Cumstein said...

Is she an optical illusion? Looks like her tits are melding into his.

11:16 pm December, 1 Miss Anonymous said...

Is the fake Amanda still talking about hot guys?

11:18 pm December, 1 Flavius Brosephus said...

I bet she has all kinds of thigh suckle goodness. Look at that nicely groomed hair and gorgeous face. She's at the wrong party.

11:18 pm December, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Yeegh. Okay dude, put down the hand gesture and slowly step away from the hott. It's not worth wasting your life over a mandana. Wash yer goddamn hair and get a respectable job, driving a forklift or something.

11:20 pm December, 1 DarkSock said...

News flash:

Iron Maiden Bassist Steve Harris has a hot ass daughter named Lauren Harris.

Carry on.

11:21 pm December, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Don't do it man, don't do it! Put the guyliner down! I don't want to have to shoot you, but I will if you force me to. Keep your hands where I can see them!

No, no, no! Don't even try to pump your fist! I SAID PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKING GUYLINER DOWN, NOW!!!!

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

Shit. It was either him, or me.

11:22 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

@'Sock…..

Oh yeah, I had momentarily forgotten about the lovely Lauren. She is definitely a treat.

11:28 pm December, 1 portlandouche said...

Bagnonymous @ 2:46 PM,

Ask and ye shall receive:

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/5237/hotts.jpg

11:28 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

More of Lauren Harris:

Her MySpace band page

Oh my…..

I think I'm going to be busy figuring out how To Tame A Hand.

11:31 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

@Portlandouche,

Thank you, good sir.

You win a coupon for a free cockk sucking from Wheezer and Darksock the next time they are in your neighborhood.

It's worth it, believe me.

11:32 pm December, 1 The Amazing Spider-Ads said...

Yeah, come on, no writeup for the hott? Let's get some effort to get our minds off the DB, please.

11:35 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

@portlandouche, 3:28 p.m. –

Marry me.

11:36 pm December, 1 Wheezer said...

More Lauren Harris – here she is after stooping to pick up something she dropped…..or maybe it's my chin that fell to the floor.

11:38 pm December, 1 shawk said...

Much better than average hott. Much.

11:42 pm December, 1 Croosh, Rage, White, Saul, Poop, L.L.C. said...

After combing through all the evidence with our litigating tubesocks, we have determined that this hott is, indeed, hott.

She's even hotter than Boatbutter.

11:50 pm December, 1 massengill said...

Is it too early to call 2009 "The Year of the Mini-Burger?"

11:50 pm December, 1 massengill said...

Mini-burgers were HUGE this year. ***INTENTIONAL PUN***

11:54 pm December, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Let's not forget Rod Stewart's grind-worthy daughters Kimberly and Ruby Stewart. Humana-humana! I'd gladly baby their Janes all day and night.

Yes, I want your body. Yes I think your sexy. And baby, I'm going to let you know.

And by "know", I mean "give me a peanut oil and coconut milk full body muff massage." Now that's a panang curry that satisfies.

11:54 pm December, 1 Miss Anon said...

@ Miss Anonymoous

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Thanks, bitch.

11:55 pm December, 1 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

This looks Shopped. I can tell from some of the Pixels and from seeing Quite a Few shops in my time.

–VS

11:56 pm December, 1 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

–VS

11:57 pm December, 1 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

oh, and blogger can sniff my nutsack

–vs

12:21 am December, 2 Mike said...

Wow. You don't see too many beautiful women on this site. Chicks that I'd fold up like an accordion, yeah, there's plenty of those. But she's beautiful. Just flat out beautiful.

Shit. I think I'm going to go cry now.

12:27 am December, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I'm with Vinny Scumbaglia on this one. I call photoshop, BUT, if I was gonna pick a random hott to slap into my picture, she'd be right there at the top, with her hand photoshopped around my penis.

She is delicious, all Valerie Bertinelli circa 1980 with a little Jan Smithers thrown in for good measure.

'Cuz Loni Anderson couldn't hold a candle to her no matter how big her tits or hair got.

12:30 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

At lest this tool has a hott….. unlike the one with his ugly cousin.

12:30 am December, 2 Anonymous pervert said...

@ Miss Anon

CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!!!! TEAR HER BLOUSE OPEN!

12:38 am December, 2 Mr. White said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head

I agree 100%. Oh, yes, you naughty WKRP librarian, you.

12:39 am December, 2 Flyteeth said...

SHE IS FUCEN TARMAL IN HUMANN FORM! IM BEWATING MY MEAT TO HER PICTURE ND CRYING SALTY FUCEN TAERS OF JOYY!

12:49 am December, 2 Miss Anonymous said...

( o Y o )

BRING IT ON, "MISS ANON"? YOUR NAME ISN'T ALL THAT YOU'RE MISSING!

1:09 am December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

Let me briefly interrupt this anonymous girl-on-girl fight to say this:

to portlandouche @ 3:28: Thank you kindly for your service. You have just unleashed the monster–and by monster, I mean the purple-headed one that will forever be beaten senselessly by my right hand.

Now, please, if you will… back to the girlfight!

1:13 am December, 2 Chimpy said...

I dunno- if it weren't for the mandana, and what may be guyliner, but may just be really bushy eyelashes, this _could_ be a nottadouche. After all, that's the metal horns he's throwing, not one of the typical D-bag signs. And that is a Maiden shirt, which both deserves some props, and isn't the kind of thing that would attract club chicks. And it's not classic choadtastic kissy-face; he just looks kind of confused and sleepy.

But, shit, that is some fine hott.

2:04 am December, 2 Miss Anon said...

I don't wanna fight. Let's kiss and make up. *smooch*

2:24 am December, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh, Jiminy Christmas, I can't believe none of you added this one:

"Run To The Hills"

I revoke both your Metal cards and your Boobie Lover cards.

2:29 am December, 2 Wheezer said...

[Wheezer said…
Run to Her Hills

2:44 PM]

; )

2:43 am December, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Awwwwww wtf ur xpectin me 2 read n sh*t its not school so rly ppl wtf do i need 2 read n sh*t

Yeah, well you may have said it first but I get mad pussy, hatter!!!! XD

2:50 am December, 2 Wheezer said...

Heh heh…..I love being a hatter!

100!

2:52 am December, 2 Wheezer said...

Jake is signaling the discrepancy between the Blogger software's comment counts on the main page vs. the actual comment threads.

Well, he tried.

2:59 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

As an Iron Maiden fan I can tell you this guy is not a douche at all. Any Iron Maiden fans who can score a girl like that is cool. Every been to a Maiden concert? It's a sausage fest.

3:14 am December, 2 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

oh, he's an Iron Maiden fan well enough. So much so, that he couldn't bring himself to obscure Eddie with her breastesses when he insinuated her into the photo.

–VS

3:15 am December, 2 pv1 said...

*Throws flag*

Personal Foul. Unnecessary use of make-up by the hott. 15-yard penalty; repeat the down.

3:49 am December, 2 ehcuodouche said...

I think we're all in agreement that girl-next-door hotts with cleavage give us raging animal boners.

Two in a row db1.

3:52 am December, 2 ehcuodouche said...

Her cleavage is so nice, Eddie just did a spit-take.

3:53 am December, 2 Steve L. said...

this hott kinda looks like a waitress at a certain restaurant a few blocks away from my house. waitress chick is slightly hotter though. which means that she probably hooks up with even bigger douches.

okay that's it…

3:59 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

Good Fletch reference with the "Scotch-Romanian".

– Oucheday Agbay

4:06 am December, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

The hills are alive with the sound of music…

4:11 am December, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

To get FLYTEETH out of his/her hidey-hole to make a comment these days is like plucking hen's teeth. Only the power of a Hott like Lauren here has such TARMAL, and only a rascal in a fifth grade classroom pulling wings off green-bottle flies could equal it.

7:14 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

Clutching his rum and coke, wearing his can't lose Iron Maiden t-shirt, sporting guy-liner and lipstick, this mandanna wearing pudding showed with pride how big his favourite member was.
Rebecca could not contain herself and giggled, knowing full well that Jake was hung like a dachshund.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

7:20 am December, 2 Crucial Head said...

Yep.

She's still hott.

7:22 am December, 2 Crucial Head said...

@Mike 4:21pm

Salty fuccen tears, brother.

Salty fuccen tears. Heh heh.

9:08 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

Yea. So those talking about this being a 'shopped photo are just slightly delusional. Or, just a bit homosexual… not that I judge.

Those of us who actually work with photoshop each and every day can attest to the fact that this is genuine.

How do I know?

I am currently out of tube socks.

God bless Wal-Mart.

1:05 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

She is definitely in the running for hottie of the year, I would hope.

4:06 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

Tarmal is gay.

7:33 pm December, 2 Baron Von Goolo said...

Very busy.
Deadline.
No time for IOB.
DB1, you bastard.

8:16 pm December, 2 Bob said...

For the love of all things precious and holy, I would body slide down a quarter-mile of glass shards at a 45 degree angle to the plane just for the chance to let her kick me in the nards.

8:25 pm December, 2 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

I find her quite pleasant to look at.

And by "pleasant to look at" I mean masturbate furiously.

8:32 pm December, 2 Anon 8:06 needs a Flyteeth beatdown said...

And will receive one.

11:02 pm December, 2 Flyteeth's Campaign Manager (Flyteeth for Congress) said...

He'll be here soon.

Here's a little something to make the beatdown a little more humane:

TARMAL!

4:35 am December, 3 pv1 said...

Hott of the week.

6:56 am December, 3 Rumpelscroteskin said...

Lordy, is she HOTT.

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 4 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)