Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Kettlehead Collar Pops in Protest

Kettlehead is outraged, OUTRAGED, that he did not win the HCwDB of the Month.

He is popping his collar for the next fifteen minutes in protest.

# posted by douchebag1
5:21 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

How in the hell can he ALWAYS have that eyebrow raised for every picture? Has he had it surgically affixed in an upward position?

5:22 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

First?

5:22 pm December, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Meh. He has a head and it's a kettle.

5:23 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

No one loves you. Give it up.

5:25 pm December, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hey, KH1, why don't you go get us some drinks, and I'll keep your honey company.

And by "company", I mean "slip out the back door and leave your sorry douchey ass behind".

5:29 pm December, 2 skid said...

I think Kettlehead needs to take a break and by take a break I mean his neck.

5:31 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

Okay, that does it–I'm now convinced that Kettlehead is a wax statue. Probably one of the sculptures in Madame Tussaud's Galerie Douche.

This is all part of one of those cliche photo-series where the photographer takes [insert random in-animate object here] and photographs it at different places, national monuments, meat markets, skank bars, sorority houses, etc.

5:32 pm December, 2 End the Haberdouchery said...

Hey Tubbs, your coat isn't supposed to stop two inches short of your shirt cuffs. That's what you get for shopping at Armani Exchange.

You probably couldn't button that thing if you tried. But why would you try? It would cover that immaculate chest of yours. Quit going for that aborted fetus look and learn how to dress yourself.

5:32 pm December, 2 skid said...

I imagine he smells of poo wrapped in burnt hair. She looks like a chick that would turn you in for cheating in geology class.

5:38 pm December, 2 Justin said...

He's a mannequin. Totally. This guy is not even real. He's fuckin' Weekend at Bernie's. These people are carrying around a stiff douchebag corpse.

5:40 pm December, 2 jonezy said...

Justin said it- this dude is either a cardboard cutout or a wax statue that some dudes place in the bar to see which douchebaguettes come snuggle up to him.

which could actually be rather entertaining

5:43 pm December, 2 jonezy said...

wouldn't it be awesome though to find out that he has a glass eye or something under there? I mean the consistency of sunglasses at the clubs coupled with eyebrow pop is epic. Very Peaches Point. amazing.

5:43 pm December, 2 Mr. White said...

I think he had a reverse stroke, of sorts, but instead of part of his face sagging down, it now always lifts up.

5:46 pm December, 2 fightoffyourdemons said...

it's fucking december, button your shirt. After you are done with that, i'll give you 10 minutes to do it with your chub nubs, you can get a 20 lb weight and attach it to your fucking eyebrow and lower it. douche.

5:54 pm December, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think I know why his eyebrow is always raised. It appears that the alien inhabiting his empty cranium is coming forth from his temple and attempting to mate with said eyebrow. The eyebrow, being such the coquettish vixen, is raising itself to prepare for the mating dance. Hopefully this will result in the alien ripping off the eyebrow and then devouring the host.

I just really wanted to use the word vixen, that's all.

5:57 pm December, 2 massengill said...

He is more Robopud than Robopud

6:07 pm December, 2 waramp said...

pretty upsetting he didn't even win a monthly. i would like (hate) to see him in the hall of scrote, just to make it easier to compare his identical facial expression in every single picture on the site.

6:14 pm December, 2 The Desert Douchehunter said...

He is The Rock's illegitimate brother…

The Mock

…and so we shall.

6:23 pm December, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Unlike my hero,

Bra!

Kettlehead can't bring it. Bra! understands that it's not about quantity , it's about siezing that moment when the finger presses the camera to douche it up in new and innovative ways. Shirtless. Starred guns up and ready.

A place in the HoS needs to be earned by more than a genetic freak with a frozen eyebrow.

6:33 pm December, 2 Justin said...

^ I love that song, Bro-ceratops! Makes me wanna fast during BRA!madan, then have a tasty rum and cola!

6:54 pm December, 2 Merle Baggard said...

why can't he find shirts that fit?

6:56 pm December, 2 RAPETIME said...

I'll give Kettlehead this; his consistency is staggering. Always sporting some grade-A hott and his immovable face is seemingly chiseled from granite.

Keep on keeping on, Kettlehead. Your day will come.

7:17 pm December, 2 pv1 said...

Kettlehead, the people spoke. It's time for you to make like a baby and head out.

Loser (winner [loser]).

7:37 pm December, 2 Mike said...

He shaves his chest because it's easier to wipe off the jizzum that way.

7:46 pm December, 2 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

It's settled, Kettlehead is the Joe Dimaggio of douchebaggery.

8:20 pm December, 2 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

I wonder if his driver's license picture has that same Spockian raised eyebrow?

Nice to see he hooked up with Lois Lane.

8:25 pm December, 2 Bob said...

He had to have had eyebrow raising surgery. Nobody can consistently hold their eyebrow up like that ALL the time.

8:26 pm December, 2 Bob said...

He had to have had eyebrow raising surgery. Nobody can consistently hold their eyebrow up like that ALL the time.

10:08 pm December, 2 pv1 said...

Can you smell-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l what the Kettlehead is cooking?!

10:59 pm December, 2 Chuck Vincent said...

Hell, this guy's an amateur compared to me!

2:28 am December, 3 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

I'm just not getting it. Look at the forward combed faux-horns at the temples not to mention the curly-fry highlights.

Kettlehead, always hitting all the right notes, but never a Grammy.

Pop away man, pop away. Your protest is duly noted, that is; duly scroted.

–VS

3:46 am December, 3 Steve L. said...

Kettlehead better start preparing for bankruptcy (read: ordering more than 2 comped bottles) if he wants to land himself a weekly, much less a monthly.

6:50 am December, 3 Anonymous said...

Bahahaha. Quality post. Kettlehead was robbed.

7:29 am December, 3 Marmadouche said...

Kettlehead is a real, true genuine hairless douchebag, hands down and shaved skin up. I'd lick him and knock his glasses off to see that eyebrow twitch.

The red, white and blue of this photo strikes a real patriotic chord in my master's and mistress' hearts. Alas, I am colorblind and cannot understand what they are talking about…

With his pointy head and the curly fur atop it, I's guess he is a cross between a pointer and a poodle, or maybe a Labradoodle.

She is a fine little bitch, no matter what the breed, ye-owww!!!

2:05 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

Kettlehead for HoS! Who's with me!

Hello?

anybody in here……..?

3:03 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Poor Kettlehead, trying to live large but failing epically as he is common trailor trash. The same white Dr. Snuggles coat he picked up at the Salvation Army Thanksgiving sale sqeezes itself around Kettleheads jello like frame with alarming regularatory, as shown in Finalist #4.
Only Kettleheads penchant for disturbing colored shirts saves this uber tit from all out street trash.
Unfortunately Monica has had a long day servicing rooms at the local Holiday Inn and tonight Kettlehead is getting none.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

5:38 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

"Lower those eyebrows Milhouse…… and the other one"

11:37 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

I must have to admit that i was the first to send in the Kettlehead pics, and i was pretty proud that everyone saw and agreed on just how douchey this guy REALLY is. The more impressive part is that i haven't sent the past 3 pics of him which tells me that his douchebag status has risen to epic levels. OOOOOh, if only he knew how big of an online celeb he is.

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