Thursday, December 10, 2009

Most European Eurobag

The 2009 Douchie Awards continue with the category of “Most European Eurobag.” Here’s your finalists:

Most European Eurobag Finalist #1: The Eurobag

From August, The Eurobag won a Weekly on the strength of douche-fro and tasty French hottness.

Just because The Eurobag was granted the name of “Eurobag” does not mean he wins the 2009 Douchie automatically.

Just as someone named “Oscar” doesn’t win an Oscar.

Monique is French for “hott,” just as “douche” is French for this guy’s sweater.

They are the annoying urbane giggle couple ordering sauteed pancreas for 65 Euros at the table next to you.

And if you’re wavering on Eurobag’s douche status?

Bedazzled Euro jeans.

Most European Eurobag Finalist #2: The Nordic Viking

Ya!

Vie Gehts?

Sie is superdouchey.

It was nearly a year ago, back in January, that the Nordic Viking first greased his way into our 12th Century conquering dark ages.

The Nordic Vicking takes boats to Greenland instead of Iceland.

Because he was fooled by the name change.

Silly Nordic Viking. The ice and green were reversed!

Svenga is soft, and pouty, and smells like lilacs.

Sure she’s built to carry milk buckets in the hills of Antwerp.

But you say that like it’s a bad thing.

Finally, stomach tatt of unreadable and indeterminate text, on shaved Nordic Viking chest. The evidence is compelling for Douchie Award status.

Most European Eurobag Finalist #3: Greasy Vincente

From back in May, Greasy Vincente’s L’taliano chest shave and Tuscan Hott made a strong hottie/douchey Eurotrip impression.

Here’s one where the Mediterranean gaze of supple female perfection perfectly contradicts Vincente’s greasy chest reveal.

While tables go nuclear behind them.

I’d order Patron.

And a lime.

And salt.

And then I’d leave.

EDIT: Whoops, #4 was from 2008, so this is a three person race now.

Just missing the cut, an earlier iteration of a Nordic Bag, proving the DB1 is running out of ‘bag names.

Vote now.

# posted by douchebag1

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