Thursday, December 3, 2009

Pietro says “Challo!”


Pietro doesn’t have many overt greasy eurobag signifiers. But you can smell the poopie diaper through your monitor anyway.

Vixen Maria is fooled by his charming accent and vague scent of Tuscan butter cremes.

Which is really poopie diaper.

Yup.

Today I like typing “poopie diaper.”

Tomorrow, I may like typing something else.

# posted by douchebag1
11:15 pm December, 3 Troy Tempest said...

She's in wuv.

11:20 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

Damn you, Ecstacy!

Getting douchebags laid since 1982.

11:22 pm December, 3 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Hott damn! I volunteer to be the one that teaches Maria how to read.

11:23 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

Carmine 'Dead-Eye' Earp received a kiss from his beloved, before turning, drawing the cockk from his crotch holster, and painfully firing five smooth gall-stones at the mounted bottles on the bar.

11:23 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

More pix of her….NOW!

11:25 pm December, 3 Wedgie said...

Got pear?

11:26 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

She is beautifull.

And I don't care if the other side of her face looks like Plinky's mother's swollen prostate.

I'd still hit it.

11:27 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

He kinda has a Freddie Mercury overbite going…if he can perform female circumcision through a picket fence with his front teeth then he may actually BE Freddie Mercury…

11:28 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

Plinky and BCS must be sharing a cell in Cleveland.

11:28 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

Again.

11:32 pm December, 3 SpineChowder said...

Scarface's brother-in-law?

O Snap Tony's gonna be pissed

11:32 pm December, 3 Poopert Holmes said...

She's a soft kegeler. I just know it.

11:33 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently operating as a piece of rebar in the concrete foundation for the Burj Dubai.

11:34 pm December, 3 Burlington ManSack said...

This guy is a bear raper.

11:35 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

BCS is currently head unicycle maintenance technician for the Boise Idaho Cirque Douche Soleil.

11:35 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

Plinky is currently whittling small stainless steel cubes into sporks, with whiskers plucked from his mother's warts, as he sullenly stands in the corner of the mess hall at San Quentin.

11:36 pm December, 3 Admiral Hamilton ManTitty said...

BCS currently councils raped bears

11:36 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently massaging DB1's earlobes with his engorged right testicle.

11:37 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

BCS models rubber S&M gear and sports a neck choker made out of a bear's (virgin) asshole

11:37 pm December, 3 joeEdo said...

WWWOOOOWWW…. Look at those jugs.
wow.

wowwwwwwww…
……

wow.

11:37 pm December, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Maria was the bane of her family. The nerve! An Italian woman who doesn't know how to cook? Ave Maria!

Maria knew what she had to do. That night Maria went to the club and looked around for the biggest guido she could find. There she stumbled up Pietro. "Yes, you will do just fine" she whispered in his ear. Not needing any further communication, she lead Pietro to her villa.

Once inside, she told him to get undressed as fast as he could. Knowing a good thing when he heard it, he complied. He even liked the blindfold Maria produced and tied snugly over his eyes. She then told him she would be back in a minute.

Pietro was harder that a differential equations exam. The anticipation was killing him. How long had she been gone? 30 seconds, 2 minutes? It was then that he heard her heels clacking against the floor.

She told him to kneel on the floor because he was going to please her first. Pietro went down like a shot. As he turned his face upward, he was greeted by swift blow to the noggin. Maria had realized that it was the cheap olive oil that she had been using in her cooking that caused her family's disgust. She grabbed Pietro by his head, properly greased her pan and got to work.

Her family raved about her next dish. They couldn't get enough. Now whenever Maria cooks, all she has to do is go to the basement and whack Pietro again and she knows the meal will be perfect.

The End.

Can you tell I'm desperately avoiding work?

11:38 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently curled up in the ceiling exhaust fan in Pfah's master bathroom, patiently waiting to film Pfah's wife's morning bowel movement.

11:38 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

BCS is currently hiding out in Natchez Mississippi trying to evade fallout from his tryst with Tiger Woods.

11:39 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

BCS is modifying a stolen Sybian with Tecumsah lawn mower parts

11:40 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently meandering outside Sarah Palin's book tour, nude, with a picket sign that reads, "bitch, your womb's not a clown car."

11:43 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently making love to the remains of Christa McAuliffe on board the NASA Space Station.

11:44 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

BCS is secretly the head of Pfah's IT Department.

11:47 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

I'd like to deposit a few drops of semen into that chin cavity.

12:06 am December, 4 Christopher said...

I'd like take stinky diarrhea in his diaper and make him wear it to a techno club. But his costume wouldnt be complete without a spray fart to the face with his mouth open for scent and fresh breath

12:38 am December, 4 pv1 said...

Aww puppy love. Time to put them to sleep.

12:52 am December, 4 Wheezer said...

Boobies.

Of course, this dumbass is looking at the Canon instead of the canyon.

12:56 am December, 4 Bob said...

Christ is she hot! She reminds me of Jordana Brewster from that movie D.E.B.S.

Which now that I mention that… um… excuse me, I gotta… go be alone for a while.

12:57 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

She's got something brown and stinky on her nose. Wait a sec. Oh, it's Pietro.

Hold on a minute. I think I see something betwix her boobacles. Oh wait, it's my face.

P-BBBBBBTHT!

1:31 am December, 4 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

Boobies

1:34 am December, 4 Filthy McBaggin' said...

Jesus, look at her…fuck me.

Someone please avenge mankind and shove a live grenade up his ass when he gets up to go the bathroom.

Extra points if Bagpolean happens to be in the next stall.

2:01 am December, 4 Wedgie said...

This girl is seriously beautiful…and has apparently had one too many shots of Jaeger. Yes, it makes me amourous too. But not enough to nuzzle a greasy pud like Pietro.

But I would like to nuzzle Maria, and perhaps pour a little Jaeger in her navel and slurp it out like the pig that I am.

On my way south.

2:39 am December, 4 DarkSock said...

BCS is out on the ocean, building shit

3:18 am December, 4 El Caganer said...

I say boobies.

4:01 am December, 4 DarkSock said...

Plinky is excreting frozen vengeance poop daggers as an online cottage industry.

Ships 'em in dry ice. 99% corn free, guaranteed.

I have 14 on back order.

4:07 am December, 4 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I heard that BCS was doin' it up real grande in Vegas.

4:12 am December, 4 Miss Anon said...

Is anyone in here aware of how to get Blogger to unfreeze the Samurai Scrote thread? It is stuck again.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
blogID: 24430360
host: http://www.blogger.com
postID: 7814868880525090774
uri: /comment.g

4:17 am December, 4 DarkSock said...

Jeannette smiled as her PlinkiStåb brand frozen vengeance poop dagger drove home into Rico's jugular vein.

4:25 am December, 4 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Sock,

You can clearly see that she stabbed him in the gut and smiles as she knows Rico will quickly slump to the floor and die a slow and painful poop dagger death.

Rico looks around for help but finds none, the grim reality smashes into his guido consciousness like a fiery poo comet crashing into Scottsdale.

4:46 am December, 4 Steve L. said...

Pietro gels his hair with his own poopie diaper.

5:00 am December, 4 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Pietro gels his eyebrows with donkey jizz.

5:18 am December, 4 Anonne Huntress said...

I'm feeling charitable and give this guy the nottadouche pass.

No popped collar, no frosted tips, no kissy lips, no shaved chest reveal, no gsr, no tatts on his head or anywhere, no stupid designs shaved into his hair. Except the fact that he's the only one looking at the camera, which could be explained by any number of reasons.

Nottadouche.

5:21 am December, 4 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Looking at these two AND that ring on her finger it's OBVIOUS this guy deals with "recreational" pursuits of some sort. I'm gonna guess the type you can fit in your nose.

5:42 am December, 4 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently canoodling with your wife in your bathroom where she’s supposedly ‘getting ready for bed.’

5:44 am December, 4 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently tanning with George Hamilton on Mercury while they exchange drinks from Plinky’s extracted and dried gall bladder.

5:45 am December, 4 Crucial Head said...

Plinky is currently churning jelly with his bare feet in his mother’s 759th donut of the evening.

5:47 am December, 4 Crucial Head said...

BCS is currently paddling newborn babies like a deranged olympic rower as they are expelled from the wombs of special needs adolescents waiting in line to have their books signed by Sarah Palin.

5:48 am December, 4 Crucial Head said...

BCS is…

…is…

…is…

*wipes tears from eyes*

… gawdammit dude… where are ye?

And where have all the cowboys gone?

6:25 am December, 4 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

All the cowboys are currently eating pudding in the Colorado mountains…

Wait, that was just Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.

7:42 am December, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

This guy does not emit or emote douche fumes in my opinion.

And yes, she's in love.

8:41 am December, 4 Rumpelscroteskin said...

His hair reminds me of the sand ripples in the kind of stream where I go looking for crawdads.

9:05 am December, 4 DarkSock said...

I peed in his hair once.

9:10 am December, 4 DarkSock said...

Plinky is currently circling the Washington Monument on his Vespa against his will in ever-tightening circles because he is a cockk moth.

He will eventually hit it and fall over. And that makes me a little sad.

10:25 am December, 4 Anonymous said...

Not a douchebag!

12:18 pm December, 4 Troy Tempest said...

Plinky is out to lunch.

BCS is out to dinner.

Pfah hovers over them both like a Lämp light.

12:41 pm December, 4 DarkSock said...

BCS is gratifying his STD fetish by watching the entire infected vibrator series "Thrush of the Tight-'uns", volumes 1 thru 36.

1:58 pm December, 4 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

I feel inferior next to the worthy veterans of Crucial, Sock, Troy, and the Doc. Truly you men are an inspiration. One day I hope to mock with your caliber.

2:23 pm December, 4 just a douchalo said...

Gotta give P. not a douche. I'm jealous as hell, but without more photographic evidence he gets a pass.
And to Pietro, we've got our eyes on you motherfucker. If one teardrop ever trickles between Maria's luscious boobs, you're a dead man.

2:27 pm December, 4 Buzz Killington said...

BCS committed suicide because he lived in Cleveland.

2:29 pm December, 4 BALLSDEEP said...

This guy is not a DB.

On another note, I want to be inside of her right now and stay there for a bit and get to know her better.

2:41 pm December, 4 Anonymous said...

hes just purty (but not a douchebag)

2:42 pm December, 4 El Caganer said...

Nottadouche

2:51 pm December, 4 Flyteeth said...

PLLINKY AN DBCS ARE IN MY FUCEN BAESMENT PUTITN GHTE LOTION ONT EH SKIN!

WHAT? IT GETS FUCEN DRY TDOWN THERE!

THEYR"E PLAYING PLAYSTYATION! WHAT DID YOUT HINK WAS HPPENING?

2:53 pm December, 4 The Desert Douchehunter said...

I like typing "boobies"

I'll still like typing it tomorrow.

2:56 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Pietro kinda looks like one of those laid-back Mexican gangsters that can kick your ass, but since you don't do business with him, he's friendly to you. Unless you dare come near Maria, that is.

For that, he gets a "please don't kick my ass" Nottadouche. In fact, here–I baked you some Churros. You have a lovely home and a beautiful family. May I go now?

2:57 pm December, 4 Bagnonymous said...

^ make that *fried* you some churros. Dammit I'm a stupid white boy…

3:53 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Damn, a Portuguese douchebag.

Ireland is Europe's last holdout.

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