Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Reader Mail: One Douchebaguette For The Road


—–
DB1,

i get that the site is about the innocent hots getting mugged by the douches, but female douches (“douchebaguettes”) just crack me the hell up.

can you give me one really hot but superdouchey hot girl with a douchey guy for the road?

– Mayberry Mike
—-

Done and done.

# posted by douchebag1
6:39 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

Who started this kissy lip craze amoung the douche? It's like their secret code or something.

6:53 pm December, 2 Justin said...

As Lenny and Lucia stare unsuspectingly into the vacuum-cleaner nozzle, the Central Douchtelligence Agency spy cam does it's work. Gets 'em every time. Prepare to FIRE!

Who knows what they will suction next…I'm not sticking around to find out.

Oh man, I need more coffee…

7:07 pm December, 2 CAR RAMROD said...

It's so sexy to make fishy faces…

Please just wet their lips and stick them on the glass window of a tanning salon.

By the way I like how this douche is wearing sun glasses YET has another pair hanging from his BAD ASS CHAIN! DAMN thats pretty cool 🙂

7:07 pm December, 2 pv1 said...

Um… he said "really hot".

7:14 pm December, 2 Mr. White said...

@CAR CAMROD

Aww, don't make fun of the poor guy. He can't help it that he has to carry an extra pair of shades to cover up the superfluous pair of eyes on his left butt cheek. Everybody knows that butt cheek eyes are more light sensitive.

7:15 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

I wonder if he knows he has a growth coming our of his bottom lip?

7:18 pm December, 2 pv1 said...

Those kissy lips look like an infected anus.

7:19 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

I'd try things with her that are probably illegal.

7:19 pm December, 2 Dusty said...

now on your left, we have a rare specimen of a hybrid douchbagette. quickly quickly get your cameras!

douchbagette on the outside, and girl-with-serious-daddy-issues on the inside.

you can always spot these rare breeds in the wild. their face colour is a pale white, while their body is dark fake-and-bake orange.

7:21 pm December, 2 El Caganer said...

Sluts rule.

7:27 pm December, 2 Lyndon LaDouche said...

Her lips would look better kissing my dick.

7:30 pm December, 2 Mike said...

Why is it, whenever one dyes their hair black, it looks really fake and just a little bit greasy? You'd think folks would cotton on to that and, yanno, stop it. But no, that never happens.

7:38 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

It's like two swollen anuses being nuzzled closely, but without the 12" jelly-dong connecting them.

7:40 pm December, 2 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Tranny.

Just sayin'…

7:44 pm December, 2 Bagnonymous said...

She's eye-catching at first, but really not that pretty with the fake tan and painted-on eyebrows. However, in a dimly-lit room–like the one in which I do my business–I bet she'd pass for a gorgeous Hott.

So yes, I'd hit it. For sure. And then I'd visit my doctor for some penicillin, stat.

7:50 pm December, 2 scrotum pole said...

@ SSS

If she's a tranny, I'm gay as hell.

Hell, give me a fifth of Wild Turkey, and I'd probably do Lady Ga Ga.

Hell, two fifths, and I'd do those twin appraisers from the Antiques Road Show.

7:58 pm December, 2 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

@ Scrotum Pole

Hey, I understand, trannys are givers, they'll do shit that will get you the chair in Texas.

Just be very drunk and make sure the room is very dark, and the let the good times roll. And by good times, I mean violent he/she sodomy.

Did I mention to drink heavily?

8:10 pm December, 2 Jessica said...

I keep thinking bro's shirt says "OOMPA."

8:18 pm December, 2 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

Boz Scaggs just wrote the revised "Guido Shuffle" from his new CD, Silk Shirt Degrees.

8:28 pm December, 2 Bob said...

The true mark of a douchebaguette-hott: she fills you with equal parts revulsion and bonertude. You hate yourself for wanting her, and hate yourself for hating her.

Then you just are thankful that you put two rounds in the clip, instead of just one, as you level the scope on Mr. and Mrs. Douche.

8:40 pm December, 2 Mr. White said...

@scrotum pole

Although she drips with art school affection and general bat-shit craziness, I maintain that Gaga, without the clown make up and wigs and prosthetics, ain't too bad on the eyes. I mean, yeah, Jake Whatupguy's hott is way hotter, but I wouldn't kick Gaga out of bed.

Until after.

Unless she started singing.

8:54 pm December, 2 Southern Scrotic said...

Ya kick em out of bed to do it on the carpet.

3:45 am December, 3 Steve L. said...

nothing says post-apocalyptic North America like "one douchebaguette for THE ROAD".

4:01 am December, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Italian 101:

Kissy lips in photos are called "culo di gallina".

I'm sure you all can easily interpret that, it's "chicken asshole".

6:48 am December, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

I wonder if I could hire these two to suction out my gutters before winter storms set in.

9:04 am December, 3 Anonne Huntress said...

lol. Chick is in whiteface. I mean, srsly. If you're going to spray on a tan, at least buy makeup for your face to match.

2:03 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

it would be easier on them if they'd just swallow.

3:08 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

How many pairs of shades does a pouty suckball of douche need these days? I count two. Is this a new trend of the scoat stain brigade? Any elightenment from fellow bag hunters would be greatly appreciated.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

5:38 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Stupid kissy lips again.

9:04 pm December, 3 Douche Wayne said...

El Caganer @ 11:21 FTW

3:56 am December, 4 Anonymous said...

i thought the name of this site was HOT chicks with douchebags… im sorry but this chick is ass ugly

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