Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tim Burton's "Alice in Mandanaland"


“Not so fast, Jack Scrotington!” said Alice.

“Mandanas must be three inches or shorter to ride this ride.”

And because nothing says mad hatter punk rebel quite so much as the Mercedes Benz arm tatt.

# posted by douchebag1
3:09 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

Iron cross arm tatt for the loss.

3:15 pm December, 1 saulgoode42 said...

How come he's so big on German Engineering, when Eugenics has treated him so unkind?

3:15 pm December, 1 Dr. DB said...

I could see criminal charges being filed about 3 hours after this photo was taken. He seems to be trying pretty hard with the lean in. She seems to be trying hard to say no thank you with the lean back. Luckily her friend took this picture as evidence.

Dr. DB

3:16 pm December, 1 Hector, Tamer of Douches said...

To the Doc – Here's a little gift just to say thanks for the hyperlink tutorial.

To Jack – The next time you're at the jailhouse bukkake and they shave your eyebrows for greater coverage, the answer is not to don the mandana and recycle the jizz as hair gel.

3:16 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

Jesse James Douchebage…wtf a Mercedes logo? No love for the Harleys anymore.

3:19 pm December, 1 DarkSock said...

If you cover the bottom half of the photo it looks like she's hugging a gigantic Ed Hardy Roll-On anti-perspirant.

3:27 pm December, 1 The Desert Douchehunter said...

Alice needs to pull that mandana down one more inch and with a seductive voice tell him 'come with me, stud," right before she walks him into a woodchipper.

3:27 pm December, 1 Mr. White said...

I'm going to take a wild guess and say he's got a swastika tatted on him somewhere.

3:30 pm December, 1 wonderdouche twin said...

Jack's mandana is covering his previous tribute to Kia.

3:45 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

No means no mother fucker!

3:47 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Something tells me that his shirt wasn't sleeveless when he bought it.

3:53 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

The spare red mandana looks on in relief.

"Thank mother fucking god," the mandana thinks, "if I have to soak up one more drop of pud sweat I'm going to fucking kill myself. Sorry Jeff (the black mandana), you're on your own pal, I still haven't got the stench of cigarettes, Bud Light, and donkey jizz out from last Thursday."

4:06 pm December, 1 End the Haberdouchery said...

SSS,

I haven't lived a day that couldn't be made better by jokes about donkey jizz.

With the Benz tat I'm going to venture that he's a creeping poser-bag who has never owned a motorcycle and drives a 1987 diesel Benz.

4:13 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

@ Haberdouchery

Donkey jizz, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

And by "giving," I mean, "douches love donkey jizz, I have no idea why but it's been scientifically proven, like whales to kelp or beetles to dung or the Donk to vicodin. It's truly one of life's mysteries."

4:26 pm December, 1 Captain Bringdown said...

George Clooney is one jello shot away from waking up missing a wallet or a kidney. Not sure which.

4:28 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

Shortly after dining on the remaining portion of his own gray matter, Krendler had the pate of his skull pieced back together with a black and white gauze pad, and the highly adhesive substance that was milked from an erect donkey that paced to and fro in the back yard.

4:29 pm December, 1 Crucial Head said...

… sorry. Dogpiling on the donkey jizz theme cannot be helped by a numbskull such as myself.

4:38 pm December, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Hector

Your quite welcomed. And thanks!

Didn't he have enough money for the bulls eye on his face? Does he have a BMW tatt too? I hope that 2 seconds after this was taken she took her "fuck me" boots and planted them right in his mini-Eichman.

4:38 pm December, 1 doucheintheheartof texas said...

he's a connoiseur of all things germanic:
1) iron cross and mercedes tats on the right arm
2) rapidly receeding hairline is reminiscent of the vermacht's retreat across the rhine
3) his left arm has tats of Hasselhoff and the lyrics to 99 Luftballons

4:43 pm December, 1 Brian said...

Why do I have a feeling that this guy jerks off to fantasies of Jesse James giving him a facial???

4:46 pm December, 1 Captain Bringdown said...

One douche, giant forehead
And one douche, tiny balls,
And the douche that Alice clings to
won't do any work at all,
Go ask Alice
When she's in thew hall…

Man I'm getting worse at this.

4:46 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Crucial,

Take it easy on yourself, the enjoyment of the douche and donkey jizz comingling is for all to enjoy. And by enjoy, I of course mean mock.

Bu you should know better, you can't dog pile on donkey jizz, you have to donkey pile on it. I thought even an architect would know that.

4:47 pm December, 1 Captain Bringdown said...

One douche, giant forehead
And one douche, tiny balls,
And the douche that Alice clings to
won't do any work at all,
Go ask Alice
When she's in thew hall…

Man I'm getting worse at this.

4:49 pm December, 1 Captain Bringdown said...

Clooney is also one wrong phone call away from starring in "Home Alone 8, Lost in Dementia".

4:50 pm December, 1 End the Haberdouchery said...

She's a big fan of Rammstein, it's actually how they met. He's the keyboard player in the coverband Rammstain.

4:59 pm December, 1 Mr. White said...

@doucheintheheart of texas

99 Luftbaloons in the original German, the English translation, or both?

He gets bonus points if he has a pic of Nena tattooed on his left ball.

4:59 pm December, 1 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

^ "but"

god damn it

5:21 pm December, 1 DoucheB4Dishonor said...

Looks like we have another victim of the Sleeveburglar….It is sad.

5:24 pm December, 1 DarkSock said...

It's the convenient new Screwtop Douche!

5:55 pm December, 1 Anonymous said...

Hey my snot rag off your forehead boy.

6:00 pm December, 1 doucheintheheartof texas said...

@ Mr White: in Deutsch, natürlich

and she has aged very well…

6:05 pm December, 1 John Wilmes said...

The Undertaker, anyone?

6:23 pm December, 1 Bob said...

Donkey jizz. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

6:47 pm December, 1 ImageWrangler said...

But you got to hand it to his tatt "artist" for spotting that Mandanabag here is, in fact, colorblind, hence he can get away with using only one ink color but billing him like he's using a whole rainbow, like the gay pride flag.

8:18 pm December, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

The mandana is 'cause he's really starting to regret that last tattoo. Well, it was funny at the time…..

8:20 pm December, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

Maybe he's just a nihilist.

That must be exhausting.

8:22 pm December, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Message to anyone considering those "sleeve" arm tatts. Put an ounce of thought into it or it will just look like someone scribbled on your arm with a Sharpie.

8:36 pm December, 1 Douche Wayne said...

"Does anyone have an iron cross? Please, we need an iron cross over here now! Oh, thank God you're here . . ."

9:25 pm December, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ ehcuodouche 12:22

Amen. It's not for everyone, but if you really want a sleeve, get one. Plot it all out and do it. Otherwise, you look like this tardo; you have a bunch of pieced-together crap that makes no sense, and just because it's all black and gray doesn't mean it has any coherency or flow. Would anyone go out and buy a piece of a shirt, then later get the collar and stitch it on, then the buttons, then the cuffs, then the sleeves? No, then you're wearing a Frankenshirt and it looks like ass. Frankentatts are no better and anyone who knows anything snickers under their breath at dum-dums like this guy.

Sleeve tattoo: Ur doin it rite

Sleeve tattoo: Ur doin it rong

AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD…..Speaking of our dear Smoot, I found this on Google in my lazy attempt to find the previously linked photo. Apparently this is some cultural reference that I am ignorant of, but it's way too good not to share. Bon Appetit.

11:00 pm December, 1 Sluggo said...

It's the Lincoln Log!

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2009/10/puck-off.html

At least his Nazi cross isn't on the same arm as Honest Abe. We ought to get documented proof Lincoln hated Jews before mixing those concepts.

12:22 am December, 2 Faceboob said...

No chance old Honest Abe is tatted on the other arm is there?

12:22 am December, 2 Faceboob said...

No chance old Honest Abe is on the other arm?

12:23 am December, 2 Faceboob said...

Comment was so nice, I thought I'd write it twice.. my bad

4:01 am December, 2 Steve L. said...

Colt approves of the term "mad hatter".

not sure if he'd approve of Mercedez Benz arm tatt though. he would demand nothing less than skull & bones tatts of course!

4:25 am December, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

In spite of the sleeve tatts, and the mandana,the weird-ass eyes are the true stars of this turd-chomper.

5:07 am December, 2 OG said...

I see a mandana
It reeks of douche with no nuts
She was hot for his banana
Until she saw the Lincoln Log mug
In her attempt for revenge
They went back to her place… where the Douche Bag got pegged

OG

5:10 am December, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

God, to think that thing is permanent and not some twisted Halloween joke.

7:25 am December, 2 Anonymous said...

This is biker douche. Note the following:

-Mandanna failing to conceal receding hairline,

-Copious twat like tatts,

Chin-strap pubes(poorly cultivated),

-Wrist bands(for what?),

-Eyes displaying stage 2 douche intelligence,

-The infamous desperate hott grab,

-The equally infamous hott-hand reject of said douche grab.

Yes my fellow bag hunters, this is biker douche and I can smell the fumes of oil and gas seeping from this gimp.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

4:13 pm December, 2 Anonymous said...

Monster Garadouche!!!

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