Thursday, December 3, 2009

Yesterday’s “Westside Douchey” Hopes I Never Run Into Him in Person


—–
TAKE MY PHOTO OFF YOUR SITE!!!

I don’t know who you are or where you got my pic but if you do not take my picture and all commentary about me off your site I will take legal action against you. And hope you never run into me in person.

Sincerely,

Westside Douchey
—–

Well, as long as you’re sincere about it.

# posted by douchebag1
5:14 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Pouty lips and his sisters shirt…. yah I'd be scared to run into him….

5:24 pm December, 3 The Lame Patrol said...

You'd think a guy with such a ludicrous tattoo would at least have a sense of humor…

5:27 pm December, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

The bad news is, for every Douchebag pic that gets removed, there are twenty to take its place. When there's no more room in hell, the douche shall walk the earth.

Hey, West Side, you wouldn't be on a website about douchebags if you weren't a douchebag. Just sayin'.

5:29 pm December, 3 Anonne Huntress said...

What Medusa said. Truth hurts, doesn't it.

5:35 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

There it is – the requisite stupid kissy face. Who are you kissing moron? Is your boyfriend taking the picture?

5:39 pm December, 3 pv1 said...

Westside Douchey,

You're a douche.

5:39 pm December, 3 pv1 said...

Blogger is being gay again.

5:40 pm December, 3 pv1 said...

He probably misunderstood us…

5:42 pm December, 3 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Good to threaten legal action and violence in the same request. News flash for you, spunk monkey. You are mocked because you look like a syphllitic asshat. Take the verbal beatdown you so rightly deserve like a man. And as for meeting you on the street, I am pretty sure most of the huntresses here could give you a run for your money in the ring. Now be a good little valet and pull my car around front.

5:42 pm December, 3 pv1 said...

I ain't no Observation Specialist but chick on the left is probably from California.

5:42 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

LOL, if that is you in the pic – seriously what the hell is up with those lips? Are you getting ready to suck on some tiny weiner? Do you think that looks good? And get that hair out of your eye? Makes me want to just poke your eyes out

5:42 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Hey, is that a fake ID?

5:47 pm December, 3 Crucial Head said...

@DB1,

I sincerely hope that you run over him in person.

Regards,

Crucial Aloysius Head

5:51 pm December, 3 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hope "I" never meet you in person? That's rich. What would you do to me, boy? Hmmm? Pose? You shallow wannabe.

Face it, "Westside," you're a douchebag. You're a lame poser who is so insecure that he needs to posture like a grunge peacock to attempt to gain a woman's attention. You threaten violence against us and then want to sue… wow. Laughable.

You're pathetic, as are the rest of the losers you associate with.

Just fuck off, you incredible loser at life's lottery.

5:54 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

At least this one bears a somewhat passing resemblance to the English language.

5:55 pm December, 3 Scroteophobic said...

I'm confused. Why does he hope that he never runs into DB1? Because he knows he'd end up looking like a ridiculous arse? Did he mean DB had better hope he never runs into the author of that email? If so he may have missed some words out. It should have been (Monkey hoot)(Scratch balls)(Gibbon gibber)(Shit pants). He must have 'said' (Monkey hoot)(Scratch balls)(Shit pants).

5:55 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Well, at least he didn't call us "HATTERS". So he's got that going for him… which is nice.

6:09 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

I assume this is DB1. Is that so? If it is and him and westside mixed it up…look the fuck out. A real heavywieght showdown I would imagine. And by heavywieght I mean purse fight.

French for Shower.

6:10 pm December, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

He was so close to a literate take-down request until that last sentence fragment. They're learning! Soon they'll be able to open doors learn how to work the buttons on their shirts.

6:17 pm December, 3 El Caganer said...

It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it also applies to douchebags.
It is ok to laugh at yourself in your pursuit of the opposite sex. I know I do shit for my wife that I never would consider doing on my own. Decrotive soap is a fine example of an idea that could only come from a woman, yet I happily go along with it.

6:19 pm December, 3 El Caganer said...

Effin crybaby

6:21 pm December, 3 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

What. An. Asshat.

6:32 pm December, 3 massengill said...

Why would he sign "Westside Douchey?"

6:32 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

I, for one, do hope that DB1 runs into him–but instead of "in person", I hope said encounter happens "in a Freightliner, travelling at a speed greater than or equal to 60 mph."

6:38 pm December, 3 Genital Electric said...

He appears to have a Hott growth on his left shoulder, with an arm and everything! He's got nothing to complain about, unless it's being born with a sexy fraternal conjoined twin with the ability to pleasure him down below.

Whiner.

6:43 pm December, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

^ I think that's a teratoma

6:46 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

He's got no chance!! Fool can't even accept the constructive doucheism lmaooo!!! Holla ur homie SMOOT da champ!

6:52 pm December, 3 Genital Electric said...

@ End the Hab
Thanks, I couldn't remember the word. Damn birthday hangover…

7:13 pm December, 3 Filthy McBaggin' said...

Did he really sign the email as 'Westside Douchey'. Jesus, if he just glossed himself as such, that is worth the take down all by itself.

7:24 pm December, 3 The Desert Douchehunter said...

Here, Westside, add this to the list of commentary you would like to have taken down…

You are a pathetic, wimpy, asshat with a cheap tattoo that will look great on your fat gut in a few years when you are taking orders in the drive thru – you know – once you are promoted from your current job. You creapy little bastard, you are not even interesting enough for the hotts to take the time to look at you. Now stop acting like a shit-eating douchebag and we won't be forced to treat you like a shit-eating douchebag.

YOU ARE A LOSER! Get used to it. It's not going to get any better for you anytime soon.

PS, I'm more than willing to give you my address so I can take care of DB1's lightwork for him.

7:26 pm December, 3 The Desert Douchehunter said...

BTW, Westside, how are going to afford that lawyer with the $6.25/hr you are knocking down sweeping up at the strip club every night anyway? Just wondering.

7:28 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

$6.25?

Oh, right. Forgot that minimum wage went up… lucky Westside!

ROTFLMAO!

7:30 pm December, 3 John Wilmes said...

Well, this guy's response was far more articulate than what we usually see here.

7:31 pm December, 3 Douchebag1 said...

He actually did sign his email as "Westside Douchey," I did not have to swap out a real name. So he's got that going for him.

– management

7:35 pm December, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mr. Westside Douchey,
It seems as though you believe (I almost used the word "think" here but then I forgot that is above your abilities) you have some sort of right about what people think and say about you. You are actually correct. However being a whiny little bitch about it is not the correct way to do it. For you see, if you stop dressing and acting like the pretentious (sorry for the big word) fucking assclown that you are, people might say something complimentary about you. But no, you think that everyone wants to hear your boring, rambling shit, see you acting like an assbrain, and that "chicks" want to be with you because of your appearance. You want us to think you're cool and that we're jealous haters because we give you the verbal smackdown you deserve. But sadly, it seems that you'll just never get it.
I'm such a geek that I never even dreamed of doing any of the shit that you do. It never occurred to me to act like a total dickhead so that some skank would want to be with me. Maybe I'm just lame and I'm OK with that. But you want to be noticed and lauded for your boorish behavior. Just take one day out of your life and try acting normal. I know it will feel weird but give it a try. See how people respond to you when you choose not to be a total fuckwad. I'll bet that you may even come to like it. If not, then there is no hope. But if you do, maybe, just maybe, you can become a person that others want as a friend (not a 'bro) and a boyfriend/husband (please never, never, never reproduce though, OK?). Then you'll know what it is like to be a real man. Until then, I need someone to deliver my mail, flip my burgers, rent me cars, and serve food at restaurants.

Oh and by the way, I'm 6'2" and 230 lbs. I also own several knives and a S&W MP 9mm. If you want to "discuss" things further, just let me know and I'll buy you the plane ticket to get here, pick you up at the airport, drive you to the open space of your choosing and then bury you there.

Have a nice day!
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

7:43 pm December, 3 Teddy Tendergass said...

Dear Westside Douchey,

I will pay you $10,000.00 to fight me at an undetermined location.

7:47 pm December, 3 The Desert Douchehunter said...

@ Dr. Bunsen

Well said, sir. I hope it punches through the douche-haze and reaches the poor lad, but I have my doubts. But good on you for the effort. Rock on.

8:16 pm December, 3 Douche Wayne said...

These clowns always open with the threat of legal action. There is no way ANY of them would have the stomach to actually endure the litigation process.

There is no way ANY of them would be able to sit for a deposition and be questioned as to how they were damaged by their pic being posted on one website and not another (Facebook, Myspace, etc) without flying into a steroid-induced rage or breaking down in tears. That would include the production of other pics of their jackassery (if there's one there's one hundred posted online) being pushed in their face as evidence that they are, in fact, douchebags in the eyes of the law.

Lawyers are expensive. No more Ed Douchey shirts, no more bling, no more bottle service, no more rented cars. It all goes to the attorneys. Potentially for years.

DB1 knows this. DB1 has walked that path and is wiser for it.

8:19 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

@Westside Douchey: Jesus H. Christ, Marjorie!; would you just fucking cowboy up and take your lumps like a man, you big pussy?!

If you're so OK with your life and what you do, then why are you so thin-skinned and insecure about the pix?

My God, your reaction alone would indicate you've just gone through puberty;

because you act like a fucking 15-year-old girl.

[and I say that, knowing it's probably an insult to most 15-year-old girls out there.]

And by the way, you better pray you never meet our pals Froggy and Ashfish in real life.

Ash herself would probably cockkpunch you so hard whilst aiming due south, you'd think your taint was starring as a retarded penguin on America's Funniest Home Videos.

8:54 pm December, 3 Boobie McGee said...

Man… I LOVE it when these monkeys write in. Good times. Good times.

8:55 pm December, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Shall we discuss the elephant in the room? I'm talkin' about white-corset brunette-Hott here. I mean, the 'lashes are pretty fake and she's sporting a 4.5-head, but she's rather petite and kinda judeo-hot.

9:06 pm December, 3 Wedgie said...

Just come and bodysurf the wedge with me. You will have a lot of fun. And maybe not become a paraplegic, if you're lucky.

On the flip side, at least he spelled "legal" correctly. I miss Brooke.

9:10 pm December, 3 DarkSock said...

"Dear DB1:

I'm going to sue you for calling me "Westside Douchey", and then I'm going to assault you.

Signed,

Westside Douchey"

Psychotic, much?

Even an ambulance chaser would ask him to leave his office.

9:52 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

Ooooo…legal action!!! That's it, shut the site down!

Fucktard.

10:12 pm December, 3 just a douchalo said...

I think this chancre meant to say "hope you never run into me in prison" where he'd pass you a disease from his rectum that would make you feel like you were pissing Tabasco…ask any of the other guys in D-block.

11:03 pm December, 3 massengill said...

For the record, I hope I NEVER EVER EVER see any of the men featured on this site in person. Save for Pumpy when I see him at the crossroads.

11:16 pm December, 3 Anonymous said...

This site isn't totally trying to humiliate you. We also want to educate you into becoming less of a girl.

12:05 am December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

@ Dr. Bunsen

Try the 40 cal. More stopping power!

Here in Houston our cops carry the S&W chambered in .40.

12:37 am December, 4 Bob said...

It looks less like Kissy Lips and more like *gasp* he's actually pondering something! Yes, folks, he had a thought form in his head, and now he's considering it!

*smacks head*

What am I saying? Nothing travels through his grey matter more insightful than, "Haterz hate me cause I'm so fukin awesome!"

12:49 am December, 4 Wheezer said...

"…..if you do not take my picture and all commentary about me off your site I will take legal action against you."

Well, the photo's gone but the commentary remains. Wasn't his promise two-fold?

WD: "Well, your honor, they're still talkin' about me there, callin' me names and hurtin' my feelings."

Judge: "Ummmmm, exactly how do you know it's you?"

WD: "Well, it was a picture of me on that haters' site, Chicks with Dou—–can I say 'Douchebags' here in court?"

Judge (sighs): "You just did. And I believe you said…..'was' on the site?"

WD: "Yeah, it was me and these two chicks, and I was showin' off my sweet tatt. Check it out, Your Honor." (lifts shirt)

Judge (pounding his gavel – OK, this might even be the Oklahoma penis pump judge. Google it.): "I-I-I…..son, I don't want to see your tattoo. What in heaven's name made you get that—–never mind…..

So you say the photo was on the site. I take it that it is no longer featured there?"

WD: "Yeah, 'cuz I threatened legal action on 'em."

Judge: "So how can you prove it was you in the first place?"

WD (thinks; audible "click-bang" sound is heard in judge's chambers): "Awwwww, shit. Er, I mean, dang it! Sorry Judge. Ummmmm, well I just know it was me! I told 'em to take it down!"

Judge (bangs gavel again): "This won't go anywhere, son. If you brought this case into my courtroom, I would dismiss it with prejudice.

Now, ummmmm, I'll need your female acquaintances to come into my chanbers for an extended interview session. You're dismissed.

And from now on, keep your shirt down, you fuckin' douchebag!"

12:51 am December, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ BillDtWS

As long as he's within 25-30 yds I can fill him with 10 holes in less than 7 seconds no problem. It's after 35 yds that I get a little less accurate. As far as a M&P .40 cal, Mrs. Dr. HoneyDouche is already nervous about the 9mm. She'd go apoplectic if I had a .40!

I thought that every baby born in TX was issued their first gun in the crib.

1:18 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The third exclamation point means he's serious.

In response to his threat of legal action regarding all commentary concerning him… Eat a dick you flagrantly stupid scrotum munching aborted hagfish.

Now come get some, beeeeee-atch!

1:33 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Dr. Bunsen and BillDtWS,

Get a .454 Cassul, you limp wristed gay boys.

Besides, what's with the whole fascination with handguns? Their innacurate, and the ammo is slow and weak. One 12 gauge slug has more knockdown power than 12 of your wussy little pistol rounds.

But all this puffed up machismo gun talk is pointless. Despite this fucktard's threatening language, one well directed fart would colapse his chest cavity in.

1:34 am December, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Just saying.

1:58 am December, 4 Wedgie said...

Pic is still up at 5:55 pst and I just got back from the beach where, no surprise, Westside Douchey was M.I.A.

Probably out looking for DB1 and practicing his pouty- lips. What a complete and utter tool. Or as they say in the 'hood, toolio.

2:52 am December, 4 Scooby Douche said...

Dear Westside,

To quote the immortal Arnold:

"Fuck you, asshole!"

3:54 am December, 4 Mr. Biggs said...

At any rate, I think the precedents are firmly on DB1's side. A judge already laughed one case against him out of court. And he hasn't been so much as shoved by a douchebag, as far as I know.

And if he has, I'm sure there are plenty of people on this site chomping at the bit to retaliate.

BTW where's the link to a backup picture to this douche? People, let's get on this here!

4:32 am December, 4 Daniel Gardner said...

Woah…anyone else notice the lady in the background with lazer beam eyes??

Terminator Hott.

5:17 am December, 4 Steve L. said...

hey asshole, i DO want to run right into you (and the kissy bag in the pic too). with an F-150.

8:35 am December, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Let me get this straight: The guy gets a very large and clearly readable tatt on his abdomen that absolutely EVERYONE can read, and then complains when he raises his shirt so that EVERYONE can be reading it, on a website no less, and wants the photo removed.

I guess this is the meaning of MISUNDERSTOOD.

I love it when the protester blasts DB1 in a fit of steamed irony.

9:21 am December, 4 miss leigh said...

haha gonna sic your internet lawyers? we'll call the honorable judge lol-ington

1:39 pm December, 4 Charles Bronson said...

Is anyone still talking about handguns?

3:45 pm December, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Chuck

Glad to see you made it. We've been waiting.

@ Jacques D

I can always get a concealed weapons permit for a handgun. Shotguns are a little too big for that. Unless you take off a good 10" off the barrel. Then it becomes a party pinata. Spray and pray. No accuracy involved whatsoever.

3:48 pm December, 4 BillDouchiest the Wild Swine said...

@ Jacques Doucheteau at 5:33PM

1. Don't like revolvers.
2. Don't like paying $1.50 per bullet.
3. My wife has the shotgun.

@ Dr. Bunsen at 4:51PM

Babies are issued their first handguns at their christening. It is a rite of passage here.

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